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DH and bio baby

Betty79's picture

Submitted by Betty79 on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 8:48am

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My DH and I are expecting our first child in about a month. We have SS7 every other weekend. DH made a comment about how on the weekends that we have SS7 after the baby is born, his attention will only be focused on SS7. Ummm, what?!

the_stepmonster's picture

Submitted by the_stepmonster on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 9:07am

Oh no ma'am! That would not fly at my home. He needs to realize that these are BOTH his kids and that no child should get special treatment over the other. What's gonna happen when your baby gets older and realizes that Dad mows the lawn and watches tv one weekend then takes only SS camping and to amusement parks the next?? That's not what marriage or fathering is about.

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 10:31am

Life should continue on as normal. No 24/7 three ring circus planning for SS7 or "Entitlement Sessions" (TM)

If all of you are planning to go to the park, then everyone goes to the park.

If all of you are planning on cleaning out the garage, then everyone cleans out the garage (SS7 included)

Etc. etc. NO special treatment for SS7 b/c he's a "C.O.D." (child of divorce)

Normalcy and regular family life MUST be emphasized otherwise daddykins is doing a disservice to everyone, most notably SS7.

smileygirl's picture

Submitted by smileygirl on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 11:52am

Makes me want to cry to you. I have this problem with my DH. My DH doesn't realize or atleast admit that he does it but good luck making him realize that long term this is not healthy for either child. I'm sorry and good luck. With any luck, he will not be able to seperate himself from his child in this way.

Unhappy's picture

Submitted by Unhappy on Tue, 07/19/2011 - 6:55pm

I have run into this issue with my SO in regards to his children. We have them every other week so that means every other weekend it's fun fun time. When we don't have them it's time be repsonsible adults and accomplish the things that we can't do when his kids are here because we don't have the time. What that means is that he doesn't actively participate in making plans with my BD. I know not his kid but I put my life on hold every other weekend for his kids. When I brough this up to him he told me that if he does stuff with my BD then she'll tell his kids and then he'll have to do it with them. This obviously did not sit well with me. I explained to SO that while we didn't have the kids his ex had them and she always doing fun stuff with them on the weekends and if that the way it's going to be then I will change my weekends to where all the errands that I run and house cleaning that I do will be on the weekends that he has his kids and on the weekends that he didn't I would make plans to do fun things with my BD. Let's just say that he got the point.