After reading many of the reactions that SM's feel they get from BM's a light went off in my head. I never considered that the "Don't parent my child because your not the mom" attitude could extend even farther. My DH and I married just befor he retired 13 yr. ago. Both with adult children .None living at home. He and ex divorced over 30 yr. ago. He did have 7 illigitamate SGK's. First yr into our marriage the police and childrens service were involved with an incident and I took in his daughters 11 yr. old son. No one else stepped forward to rearrange their life to accomidate the child. He did well ,improved his grades ,well behaved and returned home after a yr. I was grandma, until he walked out the door. Then never heard from mom or the boy. Two yrs. after the boy went home I recieve a call from police and childrens service. Some one needed to take either him or the 5 yr. old sister because they could not remain together. No one from the family was stepping forward. Once again I took on 24/7 raising a child for a yr. Again it was me who paid for and sat thru psycholgist visits, parenting classes with the mom, and hours of caseworker visits from childrens service. She returned home with mom. Never saw mom or the child after they left. My DH did go to visit on his own a few times. They lived 20 min. away. And after 2 more yrs. I asked why they never visited us. I was informed DD felt that I wanted and tried to take her child. AT this point I have disengaged. But this has it's own set of problems. The occassional contact between DH and DD's is by his cell phone and his going there to visit. Ex and DD's all rent apartments in the same large house. Did not take long before DH was telling me I was the problem. Idid not like his DD because I could not KEEP her children. At that point I told him I did not see HIM sitting in any of the court mandated psychologist, parenting or children service sessions that were needed to return the child home. And DD could have hastened the return if she would have fulfilled her required obligations instead of doing nothing the first 8 months. ALSO NO 54 YR. OLD WOMAN WANTS TO GIVE UP THEIR TIME ,FREEDOM AND FINANCES TO TAKE ON CHILD REARING RESPONSIBILITIES FOR KIDS WHO ARE NOTHING TO HER. Thankyou would have been nice but to be ostrisized by all of them was hurtful. The saying 'No good deed goes unpunished" and "What have you done for me lately" seems to ring true in this case. Resentment that "I" the other woman who was not family parented "their" child seemed to hit a raw nerve. I often wonder if anyone stopped feeling slighted long enough to consider what would have happened to the children had I like the rest of the family members been unwilling to inconvenience myself.