BM gave SS $100
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We've had SS since Friday night and already BM 'had' to see him. She wanted to drop him off some money. She gave him $100. Oh please. And WHERE does she get that money anyway?! So this brings a question...what do your skids know about cs? Or do they not know anything? If they do, who told them? Part of me wants to tell him of course she gave it to you because your dad gave it to her. But I know being the 'bigger' person is keeping quiet. Has anyone here told their skids about cs?
I know it came from DH
I know it came from DH Because BM doesn't work. Has never worked. Her house is owned and paid fir by her parents. Her car was given to her her parents. They live in a small rural town where cost of living is extremely low. She always demands more money and less time from DH. And the reason I ask abt cs is because SS seems to think DH does nothing for him. Everything he gets cones from 'mom'. It's frustrating when I know how much DH really does.
I'd shit Twinkies if the BM
I'd shit Twinkies if the BM here gave SS $100. Heck, even $10!
SS15 knows about the CS. Already did when I came into the picture so, not sure how he found out (I'm guessing SO told him though). SS15 also knows that BM doesn't use that money toward his needs and if it weren't for us he wouldn't have anything in the way of new clothes, sports activities, etc. Heck, I just found out that the necessities that BM does buy him are in the form of "trial sizes" like deordorant, toothpaste, that sort of stuff. Nice huh?
SS15 is at the age where he can see what is happening. He's a very polite and respectful kid so it would take something huge for him to say anything negative about his BM. But, he knows who does what for him. He thanks us each and everytime we do something for him and has told SO "Thank you, Dad! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to play the sports I love." This child THANKED me for taking him to the eye doctor the other day! :? Like I said, he knows...he just would never come out and say "Thank you for taking me HaveHadIt because I know my Mother never would" but, you can hear it in his voice and tone.
I wish. ss expects things and
I wish. ss expects things and is extremely unappreciative of anything DH does for him. We've never heard him say thanks without a prompt from someone. He thinks BM (who doesn't work) does everything for him. Once again BM is the one who looks 'cool' or 'better'.
How old is your SS?
How old is your SS?
12... Almost 13. He's never
12... Almost 13. He's never been appreciative, thankful or anything. It'd be different if he changed as a teen but even as a child he was the same way.
That's too bad. My SO is very
That's too bad.
My SO is very old school in his parenting. He's 50, 11 years older than me, and was raised to be a hardworking, respectable man from a very early age. I contribute SS15's respect and manners to my SO (definitely not his BM). My SS15 was raised that you respect your elders, say thank you and please, and while you can express your thoughts and feelings, you will do so in a respectful manner or there WILL be hell to pay. My SO has never waivered on these rules and my SS15 has an unbelievable amount of respect for my SO. Alot more than he does his BM, if at all.
I thank my SO for his son being such a great young man. He's the one that instilled these values and never would accept anything different. Thank God because if it had been left up to BM, I cringe to think of what my SS15 would be like today.
Money hungry. That's what ss
Money hungry. That's what ss is. Since a young age his focus has been on money. That's what he learned from bm.
DH told SS all about CS -
DH told SS all about CS - once he turned 18 and asked about it. Otherwise, CS discussions were for the adults. That didn't stop BM from telling SS throughout his childhood that daddy didn't pay CS, but DH and I always took the high road.
I think children should
I think children should understand that both their parents contribute to their expenses. They don't need details, they don't need to hear when it's not happening, that it's too much or not enough, just that it's expected and that cs is how it's done.
Our BM likes to give SD the idea that she provides 100% for her all by herself, that DH never gives her anything. By protecting the child from it completely you get this.
I think the same thing about
I think the same thing about the Social Security that I receive for my son. He knows I get some money because his Dad died. He doesn't know how much. I have told him it helps to pay the bills. Now, when he turns 18 and it goes away, I will feel a hell of a pinch. But, he never needs to know how much and where it went. None of his business. It is no one's business about the CS. As for the BM saying DH doesn't pay it, that I would correct. Other than that, leave it alone.
Well my H's ex shows the
Well my H's ex shows the children our financials from court! They are 12 and 14. They don't quite understand the meaning of money-but they are always asking us to buy this and buy that! BM tells them H has alot of money and thats what they believe. We tried to get her to stop showing what we make to the kids in court-but doesn't help. To the kids-H keeps the mom poor-while she buys them facials, massages and manicures every CS payday. Personally, I would of never told them because its none of their business. Children should not be involved in "court anything" imo.
It bothered DH a lot. I don't
It bothered DH a lot. I don't really care. If she wants to give her son that much money fine. Just don't come back later asking for more cs acting like you can 'barely' get by when you're flashing around $100 bills. DH just felt like BM came in like a knight in shining armor flashing money around. He also took it like he can't take care of his own kid. Please. He's the one that brought up having a talk with ss explaining he does do his part too.