If YSD asks for graduation money one more time...
Awhile ago YSD sent DH a text and said that she needed $100 from him for her graduation stuff, that the total was $200. DH gave her the $100.
Fast forward, she again asks for $. I told DH- hold up, what does she need more money for? So we shoot out an email to the school and confirm that nothing is owed that would get in the way of her graduating- getting her diploma.
So fast forward again. YSD sending texts saying she needs the $ and that BM can't help her because she's helping OSD (Whose married, 2 kids and pregnant again). This time she needs $60.
Finally this past weekend, she asks again. She needs $160 and if DH doesn't pay, she won't be able to graduate and get her diploma. So DH finally tells YSD that he's been in contact with the school and the schools says that nothing is owed. She tells DH it's with Jotsens (the big graduation company) and DH tells her, well tell your mom to pay. I already gave you $100 and I pay CS.
YSD: It was $400, you can't expect her to pay it all at one time.
Okay... so you and your mom ordered a $400 package that you can't afford and expect DH to just pay for it and never even consulted him about it. Not happening.
YSD: I don't know why you can't help me, you helped OSD, SS and MSD and you help Zero's son who you shouldn't even be helping. And ever since I got pregnant you haven't helped me in any way.
DH doesn't pay for anything for my BS. I pay for everything myself. But of course her saying that comment irritated me, just bringing my BS into it, when he has nothing to do with anything.
She also said something like "BM is helping OSD and I'm sure OSD was already asking for money when she saw you."
It's sad to think, these are the kids that my DH brought into this world and helped raise. Yes- they act JUST like BM, but DH has some responsibility in this. And I have to wonder how he feels, knowing that his kids only see him as an ATM and can't bother with him any other time.
And since YSD was on a roll... Of course OSD has to be annoying too.
SIL posted pics on FB and tagged people in the post. The post was about her recent trip and how she got to see all of her siblings, blah blah blah. Well she tagged me in it. So I did comment "Sorry BS and I missed you..." Right after my comment OSD posts something about how she is glad she got to see her and that it also gave her a chance to see her dad as well." :? Because you couldn't pick up the phone prior to SIL's visit and make plans with your dad OSD? or because evil SM is keeping your dad hidden and only lets him out when SIL is in town?
With CS ending I'm sure it's only going to get crazier. BM and the girl skids are losing their last thread that ties DH to them. The last thing (CS) that DH is obligated to. BM will continue to find things that the girl skids should be pissed at DH about and all of them will feed into it and it will just keep going like a viscous cycle.
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"If YSD asks for graduation
"If YSD asks for graduation money one more time... " - I will give her double the amount.... }:)
I hope DH blocks BM from ever contacting him again, kids are adults, they can call him directly...
BM has been blocked for
BM has been blocked for awhile. I now have a calendar reminder to block her every 90 days when the block falls off (Verizon).
Blocking BM is one thing... but the skids are still going to be calling and begging for money. It's never going to end.
I'm so sick of it. I'd just
I'm so sick of it. I'd just tell DH to pay it just to quit hearing about it... but I am also sick of him being screwed... He already paid $100 more then enough for a cap and gown.
I can totally and completely
I can totally and completely relate to all of this. Every bit of it.
BM used to make executive, unilateral decisions for the skids and then come to us, or sic them on us, for "our half" — um, no. If you can't bother to consult us about what's needed and what we should spend on kids for XY or Z, then you can pay for it.
Exactly. Rude much? It's one
Exactly. Rude much? It's one thing to order the package you want, if you can afford it. That is BM's problem. She has ALWAYS decided what the skids "need" (too expensive, not useful, not needed) and then TOLD DH that he has to pay for it. Yes he used to fall for it before he got with me, but we have been together for over 6 years and he hasn't really given in to her in 5 years... so this should not be such a shock.
lol. With our BM it was: I'm
lol.
With our BM it was: I'm taking OSD to the therapist 3 days a week. Can you add your half to the next CS payment?? Etc., Etc., Etc.
It wasn't always medical stuff. Although often it was "medical extras" that she was supposed to pay. Also OSD's school books, Christmas presents, school trips and clubs and sports. Always: I bought SS a...or I signed YSD up for... Then: "If you could just pay your half with the next CS payment..."
Drove me crazy. We finally, finally got it through to her that 1.) we weren't EVER going to tack money onto CS just because she said she bought something or paid for something for the skids and wanted reimbursement. We will consider paying the provider directly on a case-by-case basis. And, 2.) We would be FAR more likely to contribute if she would involve us in the discussion at any point prior to making the decision. It was never...I'm thinking it might be good for SS to be involved in sports...it was always, I've done X, now you need to pay Z, directly to me, no questions asked.
So glad we were eventually able to put a stop to that.
Tell YSD to grow her own
Tell YSD to grow her own money tree. Who orders a 400 dollar package?!
Exactly! First it was $200
Exactly! First it was $200 and now it's $400.
BM is notorious for getting the skids (and they happily go along with it) to call DH asking for money for shit that doesn't even exist. Just because she is bad at money management and thinks she can sucker DH out of money. Who wants to live like that? It's pathetic.
She did this with SS. Ordered some expensive package and DH paid half. All that he saw from the package was the cap/gown and she gave DH like 50 graduation announcement. WTH is he going to do with those? It's not like he would send them to his family.
Hi ladies... not to minimize
Hi ladies... not to minimize your situation AT ALL. The whole thing sucks. I finally took over all our household finances this month because I was sick and tired of always "discovering" more "here and there" ways money is/was going to my SS21.
Kid's BM hasn't paid diddly squat in over 5 years. I've heard every excuse in the book "she doesn't have a job", "she doesn't have any money", "she can't afford to help". She couldn't help with college, books, clothes, health insurance, car insurance... and and and. But, the kid's had two overseas vacations inside of a year that I don't *think* we paid for... but who knows. Mom has plenty of money at Christmas and birthdays but nothing for the cost of living at all.
On the bright side... I've just settled into the fact that she didn't help, won't, and doesn't plan to. At least I don't have to hear from/about the entitled food-stamp peddling freak. At least kid is 21 now... but the gravy train has just started slowing down...
"gravy train has just started
"gravy train has just started slowing down...."
lol. YES!! Love this. For me, too. Now that we're down to 1 out of 3 kids still on CS, I'm always amazed when we have extra money each month and I can put more in savings or pay down more debt. My finances have accelerated so much since the gravy train started slowing down...not that BM has stopped asking for extras for all 3 skids, of course...even the one who is about to be 21...but we don't have the CS, at least...and we say "yes" less frequently.
I just went out to a josten's
I just went out to a josten's site and got a package up to 500 dollars pretty quickly..lol
Exactly... DH was never
Exactly... DH was never consulted. It would be different if she had asked- Hey dad I want some extra graduation stuff, can you help?
DH does not plan on sending out announcements or anything. He will attend the graduation and that is it. And take YSD out to dinner to celebrate.
YSD has worked maybe 2 months on/off since she's turned 16. She is pregnant. It's ridiculous. She should be focused more on money for her baby and not for stupid graduation trinkets and mementos.
I looked up the cap and gown
I looked up the cap and gown for her school and it's $60. So not sure what else she bought but she doesn't need $340 worth of stuff to get her diploma. And DH has already paid $100, so he paid for the cap and gown and then some.
The problem is that she
The problem is that she probably ordered a lot of other stuff.. some of which may have been personalized and maybe she won't be able to get her cap and gown if she doesn't pay the full amount she ordered.
I will say this though, I would think these companies would be wise enough to not require payment in advance so that they don't get stuck.
Cap and gown should be able to be covered by 100. I would ask for specific "proof" if she is asking for anything further. I believe my OSD tried to get my DH to spring for one of the overly upgraded packages and he told her Uh... no.
If that is the case then she
If that is the case then she will have to work it out with them and see if she can get the cap and gown with what has already been paid. Or BM will have to come up with the $60 to get the cap and gown. YSD did ask for $60 a little while back...I don't understand why it hasn't been paid for by this time.
With CS ending I'm sure it's
With CS ending I'm sure it's only going to get crazier. BM and the girl skids are losing their last thread that ties DH to them.
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I'm counting down the days until that tie is broken for me. Once SS turns 18 in 7 months and 17 days, BM will have no reason to contact DSO. Period. Dot. SD is only 16, but there is no contact with BM about SD. We have SD full time. SD has never bought into the 'help me break up your Dad and SM so Dad will come back to me' trick that the SS' completely bought into and then bragged to me they were trying to do.
Your DH needs to tell the SDs every time they ask for money...get a job and I will help you but you have to help yourself first. Every time they ask.
Sounds like the girls can make babies, but who is going to support those babies.