after stepkids:
1. How I see my life (fiction)stepkids move far far away and we have only phone contact with them. Of course we are sunning ourselves on some beach.
Reality- we will be still be in our house, still picking them up every other Friday till they retire
2. I know oldest SS will be in jail before too long, SD 16 will probably end up pregnant and SS 13 will become an overweight recluse.
gawd help us all.
Scottie...beam me up.

"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."

I expect to see my SS on holidays, hopefully. He is so attached to his BM that once she has complete control (at 18), we may hardly see him at all
I dont expect SS to go to college, they dont spoon feed you education.
I expect that he will be groomed to work for BM husband's company.
Construction

If SS gets married, BM will be in complete control, I will feel really sorry for SS's wife, all that negative attention will turn to her, maybe I will become friends with the ss wife, I can teach her tricks on how to fight the dragon.

That when SD turns 18 and graduates from high school, FH and I will be moving back to my home state. We both would like her to take a year off from school before starting college, and work for habitat for humanity, or volunteer, or take her initial classes at a community college, and yes, live at home with us. But ultimately this decision will be hers.

I also hope to have a baby right around this time, if not sooner, and SD knows this.

Down the road, I truly want to see SD happy, healthy, and working in a good job with people in her life that love and appreciate her.

With so many people pulling for her, I think she's got every shot at achieving that success...

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

1. Hopefully we move out of California and see the skids on holidays ONLY! Start our wonderful life and NEVER hear from BM!
2. I predict SD will be on drugs and pregnant and living with BM till she is 40 while BM watches her kids so SD can enjoy her life, and SS will never work for anything as long as they have BM babying them to death and that she will make sure of.

For when SS turns 18. I'm keeping it in my living room and every day I'll look at it and smile. Cross another day off....sigh Anyway

1. DH and I will still have our BD who will be 10 when the youngest skid is 18. I plan on taking some really cool vacations with her, since for most of her formative years, we will be too broke and in constant competition with the skid's BM to treat her to anything super nice. I do think though that the skids will be out of our house before they are 18 (BM lets them get away with murder, while we have real rules). We have 50% custody right now....but SS especially is already doing the "I'll just get it from Mom thing". I give it 3 years max. I'm trying to prepare DH for this.

2. SD will be just fine. She's got a good head on her shoulders and I see her going off to some form of education to better herself. SS on the other hand is headed down a very long road as I see it. He is only 9 and has proven to be an expert manipulator to "get the best deal" and will lie, cheat and steal to get whatever he wants. I see him getting into LOTS of trouble.

"Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean people aren't out to get me"

are 27/23/almost 17 and still live with their mother. That is how she raised them----very slow to mature. The 17 year old does not have a driver's license (nor has he even mentioned that he wants one), no job, no sports--------oh, he plays video games and is very good at them! I expect them all to still live with their mother until she can no longer feed them. The almost 17 year old still needs to be babysat. THOSE ARE HER KIDS NOT MINE SO I will be retired and enjoying my life with my husband. His kids are always welcome to visit but not to live with me.

I have no say in their life and they have no say in mine!

ha... haha. SD8? All grown up?

We'll see.

I predict that SD8 will stay as long as humanly possible. :barf: She is just so clingy and dependent and lazy. She's 8 years old and needs "da da" to get her a glass of milk. If I ever said that to my parents, they would ask me: "You got legs?" to which I would respond "yes, dad" or "yes, mom".. and then they would say, "So go get it yourself."

What does DH say when SD8 DEMANDS for milk?

"Okay, baby. I'll get you your milk."

:barf:

I can see this happen ten years from now.

"Da da!!! I want money! Now!!!"

"Okay, baby! Anything for you!"

Somehow... someway, I'm going to put a stop to that.

I honestly do not think I will be able to make it that long.

His $$$ is all wrapped in last family and bills from that, along with current outstanding stuff (credit, car, taxes, ect) he says was a "result of the divorce"

One downside to joining and spending time on the families of bpd's site, is there are a million more tales of woe than here, involving dangerous, illegal, disgusting, unhealthy...etc etc behaviors.

and a great percentage of those are the ADULT "kids".

I shoulda known. I got this way the last time I ventured on a site that gave me too much info.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

When my SD18 was 8yo, I stated then that unless her parents started holding her accountable and stopped trying to be her friend, she would be an unwed teen mother and a criminal... guess what??? She has a Juvie record that includes car theft and break and enter, and she's due to give birth in the next week or so....
Bitter?.. you want to believe it.
As far as my DH goes, I'll be really surprised if we are still married by this time next year.

1. Dh and I will be completely happy and have a lot more money to do stuff, for as long as our health holds out. SD will neglect DH and blow him off but he and I will be happy in our own little 'family' of me and him.

2. SD will actually be successful in earning a living, but not in relationships because her mom has taught her to hate and use men as a means of support. I am almost certain she will be a 'single mom'. She will tell her victim story her mom gave as an example, until she figures out that doesn't really get you anywhere. SD will grow to appreciate DH and perhaps even me, when she is 40+ with teenagers of her own. And, she will be really surprised when it comes time to claim her 'inheritance'!

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin

I straight up told my SD8, that she only has 10 years (I had her count on her fingers) to be in our house and then she is off to college, or with her mom, or whereever she feels she wants to go. I'm counting down each year with a vengence, and I'm getting her as independent as I can without it being a bad example for my own BD. Hopefully when she is off - she's out right at 18. I'm not kidding!

1. How do you see life with your BF/DH/SO when the skids are grown and hopefully gone? Me and DH are happy now, and luckily the bull with SD8 isn't interferring a lot. I hope to keep it that way. My focus is making us strong so that we can hold out these next 10 years. When SD8 is gone, we are moving - away, somewhere else. So, we'll start anew somewhere and finally hopefully be happier without having the stress of SD8 lieing, stealing, and doing things that she wants to do.

2. How do you think the skids will ultimately turn out when all is said and done?
HMMM...SD8 right now is a CHRONIC liar, cheater, she sneaks, and she'll do anything so that she has what she wants. She doesn't listen and she is very very lazy. She always takes the easy way out - and she is very messy. So....I think that she'll be the same, she may just get a job, end up pregnant by 23, and have a messy house. She'll also go back to her mother, that is ghetto fabulous anyway and live off the government and ask for occaisional handouts. She'll basically end up a nobody just like her mom. Because she always just wants to be just like her mother. Deep.

Secondwife19 you are hillarious!