If only

He's sleeping beside me...snoring softly. I love this man. If only he didn't have kids. Yes....so selfish
I can and will deal....he's worth it

Tiger7's blog
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I remember being so excited

I remember being so excited that SO had adopted a daughter out of foster care with his late wife. Add some grandchildren. How cool was that? I always wanted a larger family.

I didn't know to factor in the crazy. Never considered a SD would hate my guts on principle; never considered CPS, felony warrants, drugs & family court. Never considered 3 stepgrands who I just can't help.

I now factor in my wine.

My ex and I get along so well

My ex and I get along so well that I never factored in the crazy from BM either. It was quite the eye opener.

Do you watch the show The

Do you watch the show The Middle? I whisper to myself like Brick does..... two more years.... two more years.

Hahahaha. Oldest SD just

Hahahaha. Oldest SD just turned 18 and I see I'm in for a different chapter. This one can come and go without BM's interference. Of course, SO wants her to come over any old time now.....uh, I don't think so.

hahahahahaha... if you love

hahahahahaha... if you love him and he loves you, then stick it out Hon...

skids grow and hopefully move out, that was my mission for years, not to teach the brat respect and how to behave, nope I worked on SO to ensure she's out age 18, graduated from school and all.....and it paid of.

Yeah - going to stick it out.

Yeah - going to stick it out. He's such a good man and treats me like a Queen. We rarely have a conflict. The only time we ever have "serious" discussions is about his kids. No arguments...I just try to make sure I'm being fair. SD18 wanted to come spend the night this weekend. Of course, he wanted her to but I said no. We had plans this weekend - nothing big and nothing that couldn't be put off, but I was looking forward to being with just him cause he doesn't have SD16 this weekend. He agreed and is going to tell SD18 to come next weekend, but then I start feeling bad. Ugh. No worries tho - I get over it pretty quickly...lol.

Acra I like your optimism.

Acra I like your optimism. But just because SD is 18 and out of the house doesn't mean it has paid off. She is still DH daughter and she will still be around. And adult step children are much harder to deal with. And the fact that you didn't want to teach SD to have respect and how to behave I see big problems coming your way. Brace yourself same child new game.

I know she will still be

I know she will still be around, I have no problem with it, she's just not going to move in again.
It's not like I did not want to teach her, I was simply not allowed to and I disengaged, not my child not my problems.... I have my own brat to worry about lol

The house is in the market, Aergia's childhood home, we are going to buy another one together and guess what, then I can say, my house my rules...
Even though I own half of this property I have no say cause I always have to hear, this is my mother's house you have no say, well guess what little girl, hard times for you ahead lol...

It's much easier dealing with people that's not living under your roof, you can always go home to your safe space, but if they live there you've got no where to run to.

Someone on here wrote

Someone on here wrote recently there is no great life for me without the mess, just the absence of the mess (or something to that effect) it resonated with me, the mess being his crazy ex. After my divorce I took a long time, 5 years, to work on myself, to become financially stable, to work on my co-dependent tendencies. I dated along the way, but never found anyone that was really worth the effort that a relationship takes. Then a man from my past came back into my life, he is worth it.

You know...I was on my own

You know...I was on my own for 19 years. Yep - didn't even date. I worked a lot and raised my 3 kids. My ex was around but I did most of the everyday parenting and took care of them financially. I was too tired to date! Youngest went off to college 4 years ago and that's when I decided to go get a life for myself. He was worth the wait.

At least your DH "snores

At least your DH "snores softly"
My DH snores like a bulldog with a deviated septum...

Omg - that's hilarious.

Mine will occasionally

Mine will occasionally completely flip over and wrap himself like a burrito with a grunt.. leaving me freezing to death. LMAO

You are not selfish! It is ok

You are not selfish! It is ok to want to only have you and him. To not have to look at miniBMs the rest of your life.
I recently asked hubs if he has a hard time shutting up about bm behavior he sees in his kids."As in that's so annoyng you must take after bm" lol
And he said "why do you think I stop you bc my flood of such comments would never stop..!"
I love that man!

Mini BM's - couldn't have put

Mini BM's - couldn't have put it any better

lol. I've thought this many

lol.

I've thought this many times. Also thought that if I could push a button and have kids disappear...like they never existed...without hurting DH in any way...

Well, it would be really hard not to press that imaginary button...

I could keep the kids... But

I could keep the kids... But if BM wanted to vanish... That would virtually solve the drama... I would push that button SO hard, and then like 6 more times for good measure... LMAO

Hahahahahaha! ME too!!

Hahahahahaha!

ME too!!

THIS!!!! I know SO will

THIS!!!! I know SO will never leave his kids, and that is one of the reasons why I love him. He is a very caring, involved Dad.

BUT, if there were no skids and no HCBM - we would live blissfully. There has never been a time SO and I argued about ANYTHING other than skids and HCBM.

My biggest worry is that skids will age out and STILL not go away And at that point I don't think I could deal with SO CHOOSING to put our life on hold.

Yep - SD18 is on her own

Yep - SD18 is on her own (although he is still paying child support to BM - grrr) but she is still around. If SO had his way, his kids would be around 24/7.

"Yeah - going to stick it

"Yeah - going to stick it out. He's such a good man and treats me like a Queen. We rarely have a conflict. The only time we ever have "serious" discussions is about his kids. No arguments." That is what will make your relationship work. Open communication and putting the relationship first, then working together with skids.

The instant my SO put me on the list far below the skids, babytalking and Disney Dadding was the instant I realized this was doomed because I won't accept less than being an equal partner. In the meantime, rum does help }:)

Yes - need to be equal

Yes - need to be equal partners. My ex husband didn't see me as equal at all so no wonder our marriage died. With SO, the main thing that annoys me is the times he tries to insert is kids into things they don't belong in. When I think its not appropriate or I just don't want them there, we discuss and usually come to some agreement. This one will get you ladies up in arms tho: we were discussing honeymoon destinations. He actually asked me if I would want to go see his son. Whoa - his kid is 9. No, I don't want to spend our honeymoon with your son and your ex-girlfriend. As soon as I said that, he realized how WRONG he was. So, sometimes I do have to put SO in check.