Sorry, I know this must be incredibly frustrating, but your post reminded me of this video.

https://youtu.be/O1_QTm-wpsY

Start putting these things where it will inconvenience him until he gets the picture.

Then, depending on your relationship with MIL in would drop a hint he is being a slob. I once made a comment about SO and his laundry piles NEXT to the basket and MIL was in earshot. She wrang SO out like a rag. She said and I'll never forget it "I did not raise my sons to be some slob some poor girl has to follow around and clean up after! You were raised properly and I won't have your laziness reflecting on me!" Then she told me thatbif I had anymore problems to let her know. Its been about 3 years.....no issues. Lol

Now if all women raised their sons with such intent! I've seen some pretty lazy dudes but man.

Sorry - I am sort of seeing why his first marriage ended in divorce. This is ridiculous.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
This ^^^^

Between this and his financial instability, I would be dreaming about being single, if I were you.

It's not just that he's like having another child around, that you have to pick up after, it's his total inconsideration for you.

It's time to leave. Honestly, I'm having trouble (from your posts, at least) finding one redeeming quality this man has.

I don't think I can ever show my DH those videos. He'll think it's funny and keep doing the same shit! Oh, and one way of making was point was to take a garbage bag and anything that was lying around, in the bag. Anything. My favorite was the night I threw out the dishes that has been in the sink all weekend. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I say leave.

But if you don't want to do that:

1.) Dishes - put them in his favorite chair or on his side of the bed (then sleep elsewhere). Or on his seat in his car. Or all over the floor on his way to the bathroom. Or on top of his clothes.

2.) Clothes - put them all in the bathtub with water. They'll mildew and smell awful. His fault.

3.) Food - take the knife with mayo and stick it in the middle of his next meal. Take the mayo, mustard, and bread, and put it all in his lap while he's sitting around doing nothing. Take the dirty plate and throw it away. Buy your own that you keep locked up and only you use/wash.

You're married to a child. My DH and I have different cleaning expectations, but if I ask for something to be done (or vice versa), it gets done 90% of the time. There is no excuse for not doing anything and just leaving it hoping your spouse will take care of.

End this today.

“Example: made a sandwich. Ate the sandwich. I came into the kitchen and the mayo is on the counter with a knife in the open container, mustard on the counter open, open bag of lettuce, bread open on the counter with crumbs everywhere, dirty plate that sandwich was on not in the sink oh no of course not...it belongs on the counter too.”

I would lose.my.mind. with this. My grown DS pulled this mindless BS when he was a young teen. Not as bad this scenario, though.

My DH has severe ADD and so does his daughter who lives with us full-time. When we started living together he really struggled because he wasn't used to having to clean up after himself for someone else's sake. His mind is all over the place so he often starts a task in the middle of his previous task, which as you can imagine, leads to a nice disaster following him everywhere. But the thing is, he really, really puts effort into tidying up and he makes sure his daughter picks up after herself.

He's often telling her "sunshinex and I are not your maids SD pick up after yourself!" and "why should anyone pick up after you when you're capable of doing it yourself? and he's made TONS of progress cleaning up after himself. He feels really bad when I tell him he left a mess somewhere because he knows it inconveniences me.

If your grown ass husband is doing all of this without even considering how it impacts you, that's bull. I would lose it for sure. I can handle messy people and I can even sympathize with it because it's a hard skill to learn if you haven't been taught or you have ADD, but damn, you're gonna try if you're living with me cause not trying is downright rude.

OMG I just can't with your DH. He is perhaps the largest man baby I have seen on here. Does he have ANY redeeming qualities?? He's a slob, a crappy parent, terrible with money, a crappy husband.. the list goes on and on. Not trying to be a jerk, but my land woman!!!! I have no idea how you do it!!! :?

LOL, just Friday morning I told SS17, "I'm not going to come home to your dirty dishes still in this sink, am I?" and he goes, "Well the dishes in the dishwasher are clean." I replied, "Yes they are," and went to shower. When I got out, SS was just finishing emptying the dishwasher, and I thanked him.

Takes a lot of work but as the maid, I'm no longer ignoring & making it easy to be lazy.