You are here

Plans again...SD knows how to get her way

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 7:32am

You guys are tired of hearing from me I know. I just need to vent and I have no where else or no one else to do it with. So when I was out of town this weekend DH was supposed to help SD17 with a project I mentioned earlier. They waited until Sunday afternoon to even start it and it was more than they expected. I'm sure that's why she was given weeks to do it. He said she would be back Wednesday to finish it. Today we were planning to go to the movies after work. I just got the call that SD needs to come do the project today because she has plans tomorrow with a boy. DH knows I'm mad. He claims he told her she had one hour to get it done. He lets her call the shots and change our plans all the time. He's getting so unreliable and I'm tired of it. He knows it and all it does is cause fights because she never does anything wrong in his eyes.

Comments

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 7:42am

HappyC,

Hon stop getting stressed about it, I would simply tell DH, NO... we have a date at the movies, either she comes tomorrow or do it on her own,
WE are going to the movies over and done with... do not keep quiet....

If he comes up with any sort of excuse, smile and say, fine then you stay at home and do her assignment for her, I'm going out and do not wonder one day why you lost a wife, cause apparently your wife is not important enough to have one night of movies with... then walk away

Now that is the lady like and not the bitch like...

I would say, Fine, once again put your daughter in front of me, the one who suppose to give you BJ's.. by the way from now on ask her not me... we will stay at home tonight... then be there with them while they are working on the project }:)

SD's needing help is actually Daddy to do it while she's on her phone texting etc, this is when you simply say.. SD, this is your project not your fathers, put down that phone and do it yourself, we are here to help not to do it for you...even if you have to say it 100x and take her phone away... if DH dares say anything give him the evil eye and say, what's your problem, we agreed on this prior her arrival, why are you so scared of your daughter is she abusing you...

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 7:56am

Agree with Acra - call him on his BS, then decide whether you want to stay home and make his life a nightmare, or go out on your own. I'd still go to the movie. I'd probably call up a good-looking friend and take them with me for good measure. }:)

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 8:28am

This is a great opportunity for your DH to teach his daughter a lesson on priorities.

She made plans with him for tomorrow. Now she has a better offer. Of course, she can ASK if a change is possible, but if not, then she has a few choices. Do project on her own today, see if boy can see her today vs tomorrow or tell boy she had a prior engagement.

None of her options involve you and your DH changing YOUR plans because she decided that she wants a date.

TinyDancer's picture

Submitted by TinyDancer on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 8:29am

Time for a life lesson? Even almost adult children don't run your life, this isn't an emergency, it's her fault if it doesn't go well and husband....Leave him home and go chill by yourself. Enjoy the movie and save a little popcorn for the drama when you get home.

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 9:16am

I'm tired of doing things alone. I didn't get married to be alone all the time.

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

Submitted by stepmomof1biomomof1 on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 9:13am

If she is old enough to be going out with a boy why is she not old enough to do a project on her own?? DS13 does all of his projects without any help.

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 9:18am

She is about to be 18!!!! Daddy does everything for her!!!! He waits on her hand and foot. Cleans up after her and helps her do her homework. It's sickening. He isn't like that with SD14. Only the older one.

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

Submitted by stepmomof1biomomof1 on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 9:53am

and he goes on dates with her?? Weird and gross. Do they actually call it dates?

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 10:02am

Yes they call it a date! Yes it's disgusting. I would hate it if my ex did that with my bio daughter. I have spoken my peace about it and all DH wants to do is argue with me over it. He says it's his child and that's that. I should bend and do whatever and live in her world apparently. That's how I feel. Like I live in her world, her shadow. He puts it all back on me like I have the problem.

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 10:36am

I had a long reply but deleted when I saw she was almost 18. I don't even know how you change that behavior from him. I couldn't put up with it if DSO was doing that for SD at that age.

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 10:05am

Oh yeah, when I mentioned I wondered if he was going to stand me up again tonight he said when have I ever done that? How quickly he forgets what he did last week.

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Tue, 10/31/2017 - 10:34am

Happy Camper, you are me a few years ago. Never could make plans, when we did seem to have a free weekend or nite, something always came up. SD went months refusing to visit BM, so we would go months without a nite out or to ourselves.

I was never able to change DSO, no matter how much I pouted, bitched or complained. I was never able to change BM and her not wanting her kids more than a nite or 2 a month, or longer. I had to learn to make my own plans and to bite my tongue. Venting here kept me sane and let me get it all out.

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Wed, 11/01/2017 - 6:51am

So supposedly yesterday DH told me that he told SD17 we had to leave by five. He said she would be done with her project by then. She got to our house at 4:15 did not have anything mesmerized and was planning on being there all evening. He actually did tell her she would have to come back tomorrow when she had it together to do the project. It took a lot of arguing yesterday but he didn't stand me up! If they would have listened to me and just done the next day it would have avoided and argument. Funny how she got there unprepared and in no hurry. They girl thought he would bag on me I'm sure.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Wed, 11/01/2017 - 6:57am

one small step for DH and a huge huge victory for you...

I'm glad for you, I do agree he should've told her from the word go, no, We already have plans I can not help you it's either agreed date or you are on your own.....but hey at least he tried to accommodate her without blowing you off... Wink

Now next time, remind him of how she showed up with nothing... and very very late as well, then smile and say, Hon just keep it to the original date and remind her to be prepared