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I'm back! And drama awaits!

Happycamper's picture

Submitted by Happycamper on Sun, 10/29/2017 - 8:23pm

Got back today. The trip alone was so blissful. I got to do what I wanted without worrying about what DH would say. BS even said last year when he came he seemed miserable and didn't want to do what we all did. Attempted to get here after skids left. SD14 had a bday party at 2:30. SD17 was going to drop her on the way home. DH calls and says that BM was picking up the younger one because SD17 still hadn't done her homework and he had to help her. She had a project that I've known about for over a week and they waited till Sunday at 2 to start it. She ended up staying the whole afternoon so I drove a little slower! She still didn't finish so she has to come back Wednesday to finish project for DH to help her. She is coming to video tape and talk about her chores at our house! This is a joke since she does none! I guess her house is too dirty to video. Tonight DH tells me how Friday him and BM were talking at the band thing. They were talking about SD17 graduation party. Apparently his ex inlaws don't want him at their house. He mentioned doing it here but I don't want BM or her family at my house either. BM wants to rent out a venue. I say no. We didn't do it for BD 3 years ago. I don't think his kids should get more than we gave mine. It should be equal. We did a small party at our house for my BD and she invited her friends only. I said we could do that for SD too. Let BM have her own party. Sometimes it just won't always be one big happy family. Welcome to divorce! BM asked him about renting out our club house. I just looked at him and said that's for residents only. DH can't even rent it out because his name is still on BM's house so it can't be on ours. All I know is BM isn't kind to me and her family doesn't speak to me so they won't be coming to my house for a party! BM has been over before and it ended up biting me in the butt.

Comments

Amcc13's picture

Submitted by Amcc13 on Mon, 10/30/2017 - 7:28am

CAMPER glad to see you back. Hope your mom is okay.

So ...you don't know them so why should you be there supporting him by having them over??
Am I right??? I mean that is the stuff he told you when your uncle died
I can't believe he would act like that and then ask a favour - but then he thinks he can walk all over you

Stand firmly by your no and make this guy respect you
Also I hope your going to this week transfer out the money from your account and let him pay for the grad party from his OWN MONEY

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Mon, 10/30/2017 - 8:31am

I went back and read some of your other blogs. I am having a hard time finding why you are even with this man.
He can’t stand your kids and you can’t stand his.
He wants to spend YOUR money but not let you spend it.
He is unreliable. (cancelling trip with you for SD)
He is uncaring. (not supporting you during your time of grief)

Does he have any redeeming quality’s?

First thing I would do is set up some counselling appointment. Either separate or together.

Second I would do is separate your finances and split bills 50/50. Split groceries 50/50. Unless the skids are coming and then he needs to buy groceries for them. He will not like the gravy train ending and will tell you that married people SHOULD combine finances. That’s is when you tell him that married people also don’t cancel trip with their spouse at the last minute. Married people also don’t ignore their spouse when a family member dies.

Third, disengage. Don’t tell DH his kid did not say hi or bye ect. And stop going to their weekend activities. They don’t want you there. Hell I don’t even think your DH wants you there. If he does balk just keep making excuses to NOT go and eventually he will stop asking.

You need to stand up for yourself hun. In a big way.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 10/30/2017 - 9:50am

ah glad you enjoyed your visit with your son beside the heart ache visit to your family. It's a;ways better to go on holiday alone Wink

And what I don't get... if you are divorced there's no together parties any more, Dad has something at his house and Mum has something at her house,
it's actually common sense to me..... Mum's family to her house and Dad's family to his house or simply just the kids friends, nothing fancy hell they've completed school not win a Nobel price

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Mon, 10/30/2017 - 2:01pm

I agree with this. We did a combo b-day party and it was a horror show... I don't think they should be combined... Divorce means seperste... And for everyone's sanity it's best if it's kept that way.

You hold firm, it really sounds like DH doesn't get boundaries (mine doesn't sometimes either and MIL doesn't get them AT ALL)