Because she doesn't have to budge.

Is this divorce proceedings, or just custody and child support?

This happened to my DH. We didn't have the funds to go to trial so he just settled with what the hearing officer allowed. BM kept offering less and less time and wouldn't agree to anything. Once the dust settled she became nicer- who wouldn't? She totally got her way.

I'm sorry that you are risking so much only to have the same or minor results. SD will know you tried when she's older.

Where was the mediator in all of this? Didn't they push BM to budge?

Since I've known him, DH has only gone to one mediation with BM. She demanded the mediation - for unknown reasons - but despite that, she cried the whole time saying "why are you doing this to me?" She also pretended she was going to be sick. The mediators kept saying "are you ok?" And basically insisted the DH drive the kids both ways and accommodate her pick-up time, even though his new job wouldn't allow him to. BM didn't want to touch child support - because she is now making more money than she was when they got divorced, so even though DH is also making more, she probably figures she might get burned on that. Also, she was supposed to pay the tax debt for her business (she owes $60K to the IRS) under their decree, but because she didn't and because she worked for herself, DH had $12K garnished out of his pay, before he received an Innocent Spouse Relief ruling from the IRS. Whenever BM threatens to force DH to pay more child support, he tells her, that's fine, maybe they can also resolve the tax debt issue at the same time.

I've considered getting qualified to become a mediator part time because I hear such horror stories. Maybe it's just really difficult to do, but man, I would love to force some compromise on people.

IMO mediation is a complete joke unless you have a couple who is willing to truly work together...realistically though they probably wouldn't be going through mediation.

Every time meth ex took DH back to court he would try and compromise with the hag in mediation (that's if she even showed up), meth ex would never agree to anything (she wanted sole legal and physical custody back). Even the mediator would tell her that he was reporting in his notes that she was uncooperative and unwilling to try and work with DH. Didn't matter, they would end up before the judge and the judge would give her more time, or more privileges.

Go to trial. Fire the attorney and go pro se if you can't afford it.

It can't get any worse than what you have right now. My DH went to mediation twice. BM was completely denying visitation and was willing to agree to one night every two weeks at the max. It was senseless. Trial was 15 minutes long (after 3 hours waiting.) Judge refused to hear evidence or testimony, sent the witnesses home, and said they were both getting 50% since half a kid is all either one of them produced. The attorney just sat there for 3 hours while billing $300 per hour, it was completely unnecessary for him to be there. I know that this is not a typical experience, but in our case no attorney would have yielded the same result for free.

I don't know what state you're in, but in my state , unless she has a restraining order against him or your DH has a prison record or is on drugs, he should get every other week. Losing horribly at trial means you get every other weekend plus one night a week. Otherwise, you get 50%. If your DH does have a prison record or is on drugs or she does have a restraining order, worst case he will get supervised visitation for 2 hours a week for a year. If he completes parenting classes, he then gets every other weekend plus 1 night a week after he completes them. So it really doesn't matter what happens at trial, even if you cant afford the lawyer. Its better than he's got now.