BM and family invite to wedding

DH and I got married in the courthouse almost 7 years ago. My parents were a little upset that we didn't do a wedding for the family which is understandable. DH and I want to have a reception in my parent's back yard because they have a beautiful horse property in the valley.

DH and I were talking about the guest list and it will probably be close to 100 people. I think DH was half joining but half serious and he asked me if we should invite BM. I told him that would include her boyfriend, their toddler and his ex in-laws.

I know I'm going to look great but do I really need BM there? Maybe she'd be smart enough to decline but what if she attends? So she can just try to show everyone what a perfect mother she is and talk everyone's ear off with her fake, raspy smoker's voice?

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You do not include a former

You do not include a former spouse in a wedding or a celebration of a wedding for the NEW spouse.

If your DH has minor kids that would need looking after there are a number of options. 1. hire a sitter to entertain them for the day at the party.
2. If they are so young they "won't remember".. let them stay with BM.
3. Let a trusted relative (dh's parents) sit with them and entertain them.

In no way is this an appropriate venue for the EX... as generous as it might seem..lol.

No way in hell.

Even in jest why would he say

Even in jest why would he say that?

Don't assume she will

Don't assume she will decline. If you don't want her there then say it and stand by it.

DH should be an adult and understand why this is not something you would like. There's also no reason she needs to be there and I feel your just asking for trouble.

No to BM. Why would your DH

No to BM. Why would your DH think it's a good idea or option to invite her?

And is this a vow renewal? Sorry I'm trying to understand a marriage reception 7 years after you have been married. Is it years or months?

I am friends with my ex but I

I am friends with my ex but I would never invite him to my wedding reception. LOL WHY?

I'm a bit confused by this

I'm a bit confused by this blog. You got married 7 years ago and are now having the reception?? Anyway, no way to BM being there. Your DH needs a check up from the neck up to even think it's a joke imo.

I am thinking that what they

I am thinking that what they are looking to do is either akin to a re-affirmation of vows... or an anniversary party. I wouldn't call it my wedding reception.. but I do know folks that have re-affirmation ceremonies and have guests for that.

That makes more sense but

That makes more sense but still a big NO about BM.

Yes that's what it would be

Yes that's what it would be and I don't think it's appropriate for his one night stand to share that with us.

OH myyyyy Will she give you a

OH myyyyy

Will she give you a gift????

I hadn't thought of that. I

I hadn't thought of that. I have no clue! Lol

I don't know why he even

I don't know why he even thought that was a smart thing to say. Maybe he thinks because BM is finally being reasonable and giving up her custody time that they're BFFs. Funny this is: she's a lying, rude, cheater who he claimed to have had a horrible relationship with and he knows that- and I'll never forget it. I went through the court battles with him, people like her don't just change.
And yes, renewing vows and having a big reception for the whole family and friends.

I would go back to him and

I would go back to him and ask him to clarify whether he was serious or not. i would "half joking" say that you need to know because if he is so stupid as to think that his EX should be at a celebration of his NEW relationship then you might want to reconsider the vow renewal and go straight to divorce court...lol

Oh dear.. I pretty much told

Oh dear.. I pretty much told him that inviting her entails that her entire clan come along and did he really want that? He dropped the subject and I ignored it too. He knows how I feel about her so I don't see it coming up again. I don't think she needs to meet my family and our friends just to put on her 2nd face and try to charm them. I'd be utterly disgusted.

Honey.. this is gonna be

Honey.. this is gonna be "your day".. you can bridezilla just a bit. lol.

Abort...ABORT....DO NOT

Abort...ABORT....DO NOT INVITE BM!!!!!

Why on EARTH does your

Why on EARTH does your husband want his ex-wife at his wedding reception?

WTF???

ETA: if my husband asked me this question, there wouldn't BE a reception for anyone to attend...

He must have been in a silly

He must have been in a silly mood when he suggested that. Talk about putting a damper on your wedding celebration...

No, No, No, No, NO, NO, NO,

No, No, No, No, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOO, NOOOO, NOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Hell to the no, when we

Hell to the no, when we finally get to do our delayed vow renewal ceremony. You can bet BM won't receive a second thought on the matter, m parents or DH's parents or even my sister can watch the Skids. She's not ruining our day, she already basically ruined the original one.

I have to ask, are the dogs

I have to ask, are the dogs going to be part of your celebration. I went to a wedding and the dog had a mini tuxedo on. It was really cute.

I hadn't thought of that but

I hadn't thought of that but I love my babies and I love dressing them up! They're really hyper and lovey though. Plus, my parents have 3 dogs that live in their backyard that will more than likely be there and they're mean to my dogs.

No way on the ex at the

No way on the ex at the wedding!

I would say yes. Let her

I would say yes. Let her come. Tell her the date is in another seven years.

Ask your parents to take

Ask your parents to take their dogs to daycare for the day. Hire a dog handler to bring your fur babies in for the ceremony and photos and some mingling. Then they can be taken home. Or crated in back room till party over if too much excitement.

If even the joke or mention of BM attending comes up again just say not problem. Now you can invite your past relationships. It would be great to have a dance with them!

Have fun!