It honestly sounds like SD WILL be coming to live with you. If she has called CPS on her mother 2x already... it might be going down soon. 

I am so happy to hear that you and DH are sober and doing well with your 1 yr old! I hope that you guys can stay strong if she does bring all of this stress into your home. 

What are the chances that all of the suicide talk is over her hair or rules that BM has? If that is the case, you are going to be in for it when she gets there. 

Another option is a therapeutic boarding school. I have posted before about the 1 that I know of. One of my IT people has a child there due to emotional issues. The kid has a grant and the only out of pocket costs are travel for breaks and summer home. 

https://www.calfarley.org/boysranch/  (It says boys ranch because it started as all boys, but it is for both genders)

I think you need to find a very good family therapist.  Therapy on her own may not be enough to sort her feelings out. 

If you are completely disengage from SD,  How are you going to let her into your home.  You know she is not going to change. You must get her meant help ASAP. Your DH must take on the responsibility of his DD.   You. Realize she will be calling CPS on you. 
You really want to put your life into a crazy thing.  It's going to effect your marriage!! 

Could she be checked into a group home/therapy center? That might help more than just running away from those problems to possibly have the same reaction to new problems.

I wouldn't do it.  You and your DH are relatively newly sober.  You have a helpless baby who needs for you to stay sober.  You don't need the stress of a suicidal teenager.  She has called CPS on you before.  She calls CPS on BM.  You don't need that.  Your DH isn't a great parent.  You are disengaged.  How is this going to be a better situation for a troubled teen?  I think you do everyone a disservice (except maybe BM, who I'd guess is happy to dump her problem off on you) by having this girl move 600 miles to live with you.

Your DH might be better to acknowledge he's not in a place to have his daughter live with him at this point and work with BM to find other solutions, whether that be more counseling, changes in her home, a therapeutic boarding school, etc.

SD deserves to be properly placed with stable adults.

You wrote that you and dh are sober? How long have you both been sober and what where you using?

Sorry this brat belongs in a Boot Camp (chanting)

What exactly did you expect was going to happen? Your DH is a crap parent, and BM wasn't much better. Then your DH left BM to deal with it all, likely causing SD to feel abandoned. Absolutely none of this should be unexpected.

If she moves to your state, your DH needs to step the eff up and actually BE a parent. That means being sober, and curbing his anger, and taking SD to therapy, and having a reunification plan with BM, and working enough that he can provide insurance and her care, and be available to parent SD (and not running off to the computer for hours on end).

SD is troubled because her parents haven't extracted their heads from their backsides. BOTH have failed SD, and one of them needs to step up to help her, and ACTUALLY help her. Not just for her sake, but society's.

Yes, your SD is likely suicidal given all the crap her parents have put her through. Yes, she's also likely a pathological liar. Yes, she is also likely addicted to electronics. But these aren't failings on your SD - they are failings, equally, on her PARENTS.

What SD needs trumps what you want. You need to keep that in mind going forward.

I think you may want to consider going to counselling with your partner OP. 

Would BM pay child support do you could hire a nanny one or two days a week (or put it towards an after school club/holiday care for the ‘troubled’ one). The responsibility doesn’t fall on you, it is the parents responsibility. 

I am not writing this to start anything but only relying my own experience. I was suicidal at 13 and told no one and acted on it. I was again suicidal after the birth of my son from PTSD which was misdiagnosed as post partum depression. I attempted 3 times, once was very very serious and it really is a miracle I am here. I have spent many weeks in hospital talking to others in same boat. Majority of suicidal incidents happen without anyone knowing ahead of time. I now have a 19 year old that threw that card in our face while he was in high school, then again in the last 2 years (specifically last year, 3 times in a row, 1 month appart). He didn't attempt suicide and wasn't diagnosed with anything other then ODD, he has called the suicide line each time and told them he is thinking about it. Each time he did that, DH had picked up the slack for SS. First time, he didn't want to go to school so he called a suicide line. THen he didn't want to go to work and called the suicide line each time DH made him go to work. BAsed on what i know and what goes on in a persons mind and the low self worth and value when youre in that time of depression and state, I can spot inconsistancy in SS about what he claims/says and how his body language is. He walks like he is better then anyone, looks down at me mostly and even belches out loud while staring at me in a demining way. I am 120% sure all this was an act on his part to get what he wanted and DH allows him now (19 year old) to live with us, all expenses paid, doesn't have to work or go to school. We all have to walk on eggshells around him becasue when he is mad, we all feel it. He is the master in the house and we all must obey. Walks around at 3/4/5 am in the house opening and closing his flip knife constantly. So i agree suicide rates are high in teens, but some will use it to their advantage, it is very possible.

Having your SD live with you would be a terrible, awful, very bad idea.

Stop thinking emotionally, and consider this: this skid is broken. She's damaged and has issues far above your H's skill set to handle. At thirteen, she is who she is. A teenager with these issues is going to need constant care and supervision, and your H works too much for that. You would get stuck caring for her, so BM and BD would get off easy while you carry the burden for them. Further, having her in your home would deprive your children of the peace and stability they deserve. 

Historically, You've made a lot of decisions based on emotion rather than logic, and  your H has been able to pressure you to go along with some of his not so great choices, too. But this is a hill to die on. I know, because I was in a similar situation. Five years of my life, wasted on a teen girl that someone else had broken. Four different therapists, one suicide attempt, thousands and thousands of dollars spent on expensive mental health treatment, thousands of hours spent trying to help that SD, and for nothing. But at least I had no other children to consider.

Charlie, you are a mother now, and that should change everything. You need to be fiercely protective of your bios. Be selfish on their behalf. They need your undivided attention and care, and deserve a calm, stable childhood. Having a mentally ill teen in the home is like having a dirty bomb go off - it permeates everything and affects everyone. They require a huge amount of energy, and can really put a strain on a marriage. Do you want your kids' earliest impressions to be of chaos and a distracted stressed out mommy? I developed medical and mental health issues of my own from the strain. You have to be ever vigilant with a suicidal teen, and never get a full night's sleep. And bonus - my SD got worse as she got older. Not better, not easier. She struggled with moving into adulthood, and could not launch at 18. 

Absence and time have a way of softening/deleting bad memories. Read some of your old posts to re experience what you went through with your SD/BM/H in the past. You were miserable then, and there is zero reason to believe you would be any better off now when you have more responsibilities and demands on your time. You're looking down the barrel of Hell. Please be realistic and don't offer up your bios and yourself to be collateral damage in someone else's failed dynamic.

You both work 50+ hours a week.  Having a new born?  Having CPS involved in your life and home.  You may, possibly lose custody of your new born because of what SD is doing, DH is using illegal drugs.  

This will most likely end your marriage,  DH doesn't want to parent his kid now,  he going to do less once SD starts her antics.  She need a lock down mental health place.  What are hard to find. Even lock down places has rules that patient have to follow. And unless you have great medical insurance it's going to cost thousands a week. 
 

it's seems like DH can not take care of himself,  Everything is going to fall onto you. She is going to take time away from the new born care.  
 

Just say NO.  DH can leave and do what need to be done,  yes right, he not going anywhere. Unfortunately no one cares about SD.  Remember you can not do more then the bio parents.  Do not start trying that.  SD may never get better.  She could be this way for ever .

You don't even know what wrong with her ?  After all this time no one has put the effort to find out what wrong.   There no Magic pill. Some people just can not be helped. 

You didn't want the child around on even a part time basis before she became "troubled." Why do you think you will want her around now? I understand your urge to "help" - but you need to look at this realistically. Your DH is not a good parent, and from what you are saying doesn't seem to be willing to make any changes to become the kind of parent that his daughter needs. You are going to be over-whelmed with a toddler and a new-born and once the intial "newness" wears off, you are not going to want to parent a troubled teenager.

Please don't do this. It is not fair to SD or you or your children. It will not end well. You are not going to be able to fix this girl.

And your DH is not sober if he is still using pot.