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OT - when kids are NOT invited...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 12:24pm

You and your spouse/SO are invited to an event. Kids are specifically NOT invited. What do you do?

  • Hire a sitter and attend
  • Do not attend
  • Take your kids anyway

 

When I married psycho exh, we married at the courthouse. So no guests. Our reception was at a bar. IOW, No One Under 18 Allowed. When we sent out invites asking people to come celebrate with us, we included a note that - I thought - was nice and not offrensive...

"Our reception is at XYZ, which does not allow anyone under 18yo. We hope you can attend and celebrate with us, but understand if you cannot."

We actually received some extremely rude responses, bashing us for "hating on kids"!

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 12:41pm

the only answers are one or two if you have been specifically told that children are not able to be included.  That is one of the responsibilities you have as  a parent is to make sure your child is properly monitored.. so obviously if you have been told "no kids".. your only choice is to get a sitter and go.. or stay home if you cannot arrange a sitter.period.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 12:50pm

Agreed, ESMOD. One couple actually showed up with their 4mo and 3yo. The owner himself told them they had to leave. They sent us a nasty note.

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 12:25am

you know bringing your infant and toddler to a pub where owner has stated kids not allowed (obviously because its their responsibility to make sure underage kids do not consume alcohol), all it takes is for mummy and daddy to turn around for a few seconds and cops to be there seeing kids sipping on alcohol for the owner to lose his alcohol license etc...

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 9:32am

Yeppers!

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 12:46pm

We've called GPs and asked them to babysit. Or, we just haven't gone. It's not that hard, and if parents make it that hard, then they shouldn't be parents.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 12:51pm

if parents make it that hard, then they shouldn't be parents.

And we know there are plenty out there who shouldn't be parents.

Siemprematahari's picture

Submitted by Siemprematahari on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 1:04pm

You'd think it would be common sense right Aniki?......... But either some people don't care or still want to do what they want regardless. Always amazes me the nerve of people of who still bring their children to non-kid events.

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 1:07pm

Si, todo es verdad, Siempre.

But things like common sense, responsibility, basic courtesy... close to extinction.

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 2:35pm

I always loved a good date night out with my DH and a wedding reception at a bar would have been a good excuse to dump the kids for a few hours.  This is what happens when you make children your appendages and expect the world to accommodate your inability to cut the umbilical cord.  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 3:40pm

Appendages, indeed. "If my children aren't welcome..." Well, they're not. So don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

Simpleton21's picture

Submitted by Simpleton21 on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 3:16pm

I was invited to a wedding once and the couple requested that no kids were at the event. The event wasn't at a bar or a place that didn't allow kids.  That was just their request.  I didn't really like the couple that much so I just chose not to go.  If it were a couple that I really liked I would have gotten a sitter and attended with NO CHILDREN...as requested by the bride and groom!  It isn't that hard!  

I can't believe people actually gave you crap for this.  I didn't feel the need to rudely reply to the couple's wishes.  It was THEIR SPECIAL DAY!   

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 3:43pm

That was just their request.

Exactly. And I would respect THEIR request. 

They did! One couple ended their "friendship" with us over it. Amazeballs! Obviously, that was NO loss.

Simpleton21's picture

Submitted by Simpleton21 on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 3:49pm

Yes, I think especially when someone is getting married you should RESPECT THEIR REQUEST.  If you don't like it or agree with it don't go!  

Ha, oh darn, sounds like a big loss there.  I love it when people like this cut themselves out of my life for me Wink  

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 4:13pm

Uh-huh. What kind of person says, "The invite says no kids, but I'm so sure they didn't mean OURS so we'll bring them. I know the host/hostess wil be THRILLED!"

It's like the trash taking itself out! *yahoo*

Simpleton21's picture

Submitted by Simpleton21 on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 4:15pm

I'm guessing over half the GUBMs us posters deal with on here feel that way!  Just like they think that their ex and new SM should be thrilled to take the skids on their honeymoon, lol! 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 5:01pm

Especially when they have a hot date!!!

Funny how so many GUBMs fail to realize that stuff is Fool's Gold...

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 4:45pm

When kids are not invited, for us, it is highly respected.  We would politely respond to the RSVP  and send a gift of money. Yes we are those people who really doooo respond to RSVPs'.

About kids in restaurants...when I was a server way  parents would bring their kids. OMG kids screaming and throwing food on the floor, crayons, bread--what ever was placed in front of them they tossed. Most parents refuse to pick their kids garbage up. Usually its the 'single moms" who ignore their kids anyway. You all know what I mean.

Well one time I had the Ass...enough to kinda make it known "YOUR A PIG and so are your kids"...The kids had crap all over the floor and I knew I was going to be stiffed anyway. Servers can tell right away who stiffers are...Sunday Church people are the worse. HAVE A BLESSED DAY is your tip or GOD IS GOOD all the time. 

Anyway, I had the ass--I handed the mom a stack of soft large napkins and said "Ma'am, you may need these to pick up what your children accidently dropped on the floor'.......

She sat there like I had a Magnolia tree sticking out of my rear LOL

She walked out, no tip and the crap was still on the floor just like I knew it would be. Smile Smile Smile

 

 

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 5:05pm

GL, as a former bartender, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I once had a guy tell me to "go ahead and keep the change". The drinks totalled $29.75 and he gave me $30. I told him I could not POSSIBLY do that as he obviously needed that money much more than I did. And I told him to....

HAVE A BLESSED NIGHT! Lol

Lndsy747's picture

Submitted by Lndsy747 on Thu, 03/05/2020 - 11:04pm

One of my coworkers invited me and another girl to her wedding recently and she came up later to say that there aren't any kids allowed. I could tell she was so nervous to say it. My friend and I were like ok sounds great!

I love my daughter but I also love adult time. I don't understand parents who's life revolves around their kids. 

 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 9:38am

I don't understand parents who's life revolves around their kids. 

Neither do I! Of course, I do realize that there are narcs (like BioHo) who see their children as extensions of themselves, but they still want No Kids time. 

We have friends who have been married 21 years, had fertility issues, but now have a 6yo and a 3yo. The grandparents are VERY hands-on and spend lots of time with their gkids. The husband wanted to take his wife on a 20th anniversary trip to an exotic location. She refused to go without the kids. He recently confided to me that they have been to MAYBE one non-kid event a YEAR since the first child was born. She won't even go out to dinner if the kids can't go. *shok*

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 9:40am

He better start saving for the inevitable divorce. I don't believe there are very many happy marriages out there when it's kids first, couple last, especially as the kids age out. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 9:51am

He may very well grit his teeth and stick it out. I know it's a big disappointment to him. He wants a WIFE, not just a mother to his children. But her focus is 110% on the kids. 

Last Spring, they had a party (for adults only). The kicker? She hired a babysitter....to keep the kids upstairs! His parents offered to take their gkids. Her parents offered to take their gkids. Nope. She "couldn't bare it" because they'd be away for the night. 

DPW's picture

Submitted by DPW on Fri, 03/06/2020 - 10:02am

C'mon. Have fun dealing with your emotionally stunted children for the rest of your life. Oh wait, that's probably what she wants. D'uh me!