Stay OUT

So I am doing some painting and general house repair this weekend. I go to my household repair cabinet and get some things, noting that good! I have that (pink) duct tape which is perfect for something. I do one project then go to get the tape. It's gone.

I tell DP because he Asked me to tell him if things weren't right since drawer incident.
He asked SDs if they took in. Why no they don't have it. Then of course he asked me am I sure I saw it, effin-a yes DP, I was going to use it for something. So I let it go. And moved the rest of the tape higher up.

This morning, I start up the ongoing project and open cabinet. Guess what's there? The pink frickin tape. I tell DP, someone put it back. They lied to you. One of them had it. He's all going back to the excuse mode, they didn't know, maybe they forgot blah blah. I lost it. "Don't make excuses for them. One of them lied again. That cabinet is for house repair items and are not to be touched. Do you want me to install a lock on it? Do I have to do that?!" Then it's, maybe move it to the garage....like that's helped at all since crap in there has gone missing too...wtf! I said, "This is not my problem. If they cannot understand basic rule of not getting into people's things and basic respect of other people's things I'm getting locks. I'm done with this. And they were asking for tape yesterday. I said no because I DONT have any they can use AND one of them took the next to last roll of scotch tape that was there yesterday dammit." No is no! He's like this isn't a big deal...I have to remind him that neither one lost my coffee mug or broke the drawer or lost the car ice scraper either...he shut up quick after that. Then YOU need to get them tape...he thinks I'm over reacting but bulls**t if I'm dealing with this any longer. As soon as I'm done with my project this morning I'm going straight to the hardware store for two locks.

The really annoying thing is that HE was PO'd yesterday because apparently SD12 1) borrowed his thermos and forgot it at school and basic respect of people's things ignored there 2) she left another lunch bag out for days and he threw it out on the deck and said he's going to start doing that to all her stuff left around (I'll believe it when I see it) and she got yelled at by DP for talking back, big time. But NO repercussions! Still has all her electronics! He's close to actual parenting but not there yet so continued disengagement working...

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Oh that is BS! Individually,

Oh that is BS! Individually, no, these things are not a big deal, but the fact that is is a continual occurrence is just not right.

If I were you, I'd start taking random things of his that you know he'll be looking for. Put them back eventually, but just keep doing it so he can see what a pain it is to KNOW he had something somewhere and it's not there when you need it.

You shouldn't have to live like that. Lock up everything. To the point where there's a lock on every little thing. It will be obnoxious but it will make a point.

Wow. Taking my attitude out

Wow. Taking my attitude out on trimming back the grape vines was awesome. Got all of it done in record time! Prepped another wall for painting and haven't had to interact or speak with either SD all day. No showers, no clean clothes, not helping SD9 with her school lunch, don't care. DP is steering clear of me, he asked if I had any ideas for dinner...nope.

I used to get a lot of

I used to get a lot of weeding and gardening done when the skids were here since my "help" came with some rules attached and Chef was having none of that. I just would keep one eye on them to make sure they werent burning down my house under Chef's "supervision."

Sd used to do this. ..until i

Sd used to do this. ..until i started taking stuff of hers. I didn't deny it though...just said well you take my stuff all the time so how do you like it. She would give me death stares but i didnt give a shit. She soon learnt what it felt like to have someone disrespect your stuff...and stopped. She had adhd so needs to be taught differently. Dh was fully supportive.

Sd used to do this. ..until i

SDs created a huge "fort" in

SDs created a huge "fort" in SD12s room (for SD12 of course). DP said that it had to be cleaned up, SD12 said it would be on Sunday (today). She also took more bowls with chips/food to her room. DP said, bring those up. "Yes, I will." Nothing has come up.

Tomorrow when I get home is trash bag SD12s room. All of it left out including half full bowls, full water glasses, clothes, etc is going to be hauled to garage. I'm so done.

Eff it. Just read

Eff it. Just read "Stepmonster" section on disengagement and I'm not touching SD12s room.

I was so PO'd! I couldn't

I was so PO'd!
I couldn't help it, so that's why I went outside.
And DP was wondering why I didn't want to go for a walk with him an SD9 that afternoon...jeez man.

Yes, I am buying locks for cabinets on my way home tonight and installing them as well. No more issues with that. I'll leave ONE cabinet without a lock so iron and laundry items can still be accessed and that's it. DP will not have a key (I will keep all keys in my location which DP will not know about).

I kept my mouth shut for the rest of the day.
No help at all with dinner, no help with any of the SDs things all day or this morning.
I'm not doing a dang thing any longer.

I don't regret actually

I don't regret actually telling DP EXACTLY what I thought of the situation, his attitude and the girls actions. It was the last straw in a line of similar instances. But locks will be my final answer to that.

Once someone just takes something, without asking, and not respecting that person's things, is really a big deal for me personally. Especially once they were told, point blank, "No." To do it anyway is galling and points to bigger issues to come. I'm actually planning on getting a locking cabinet for the garage for just myself in the near future.

DP can "see" problem, but he's not ready or willing to SOLVE it which means DISCIPLINE. So I'm going into lock down. }:)

I decided to not only lock up

I decided to not only lock up the laundry room cabinets but also get myself a locking bin for the garage next month. Full on not dealing with it any longer...

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