I really don’t think this is normal. SS10 gets something each week regarding his behavior. Last week, just like every other week, the negative points were that he doesn’t listen in class. 2 days ago, teacher called SO to inform him that SS10 kept singing a song during a test, where at a specific point of the song he says “Suck my &*^”. SO came home that night and told him that although he had been doing well for a week or so, he will have to be punished yet again for what he did, so he decided to tell him that he’s not giving him his Spiderman costume for Halloween.
Yesterday, SO went to pick him up from school. A different teacher pulled him to the side and told him that SS10 did not behave in class and was singing and distracting the class.

Also yesterday, BM finally agreed to attend a scheduled visitation so SS10 got to see her after not seeing her since last September. Of course, she buys him one of those 2 wheel self balancing electronic things and of course SO lets him come home with it and play with it instead of enforcing the punishment, or at least communicating with him in depth. Then SS10 lets me know SS15 is getting an iwatch for his birthday from BM. So she can’t pay child support…but she will do that type of stuff. By now she owes over 20K in child support, and I guess the fact that she has a vagina makes the system continue being lenient with her and not giving her jail time.

Oh and I love how the stuff I do becomes shitty after he sees BM for only a day (she bought him a grocery bag of food which had a certain brand popcorn and SS10 tells me”this is the GOOD popcorn”, knowing I buy him the other brand). I know that this is probably normal 10 year old behavior in a stepfamily but it’s a confirmation for me as to why I dislike investing anything in him at this point. At this point, SS15 is a lot easier to handle and is less troublesome than SS10.

SS10 gets home from school today and begins to do that move where he strikes up a convo about whatever with SO to distract him from telling him what to do (because SO for whatever reason still can’t conform to a schedule with the kid) and when I go to our room to watch television for a bit, SO comes in to nap with SS10 following. SS10 then just stays in the room until SO falls asleep and I’m not sure how to even tell him to get out. Finally when I ask him to leave and go to his room, he’s like “but there’s nothing to do in my room”. I’m like “yeah, that’s what happens when you’re on punishment”. So he goes to his room. And is now playing all around the apartment with that self balancing thing. That kid is never going to learn because SO doesn't put forth the effort.