((Hugs))This time will pass. You will be stronger and you can do this. Your moral compress is on an entirely different level than your ex and the soon to be cheated on new wife. You probably don't understand behavior such as theirs because you have morals, character and a CONSCIOUS.

Do you have family close by? Try to focus on caring for your baby and yourself. Don't measure your self worth by their treatment of you. Those two deserve each other and at least the ex has the cheating bastard instead of you now.

How does he treat you daughter? How does she fit into his plans with the ex?

Honey, if I was your mama I'd want to whip his ass bad. I mean like real bad.

Take care!

Oh honey, that would be a tough blow for anyone to take. It's right out of our nightmares. One hour, day, week at a time. Focus on what you need & your daughter needs. Every time you want to stalk BM - do something for yourself - nails, hair, walk, come here to vent . You are better then this - you and your beautiful daughter deserve more.

I am so sorry you are suffering!

Quit looking at your Ex on social media. It's the only way to help yourself heal. Looking just reopens those wounds over and over. You are torturing yourself.

Tell your Ex to only contact you in regards to arranging visits with your daughter. You can contact him if there is any other communication needed (serious illness/injury, etc.). Get your attorney involved if needed. He is manipulating you, and from the sounds of what he is saying to you, he may try to continue a relationship with you AND her--if you aren't into that, then it needs to stop.

Most importantly: Find value in yourself. Don't look to outsiders to give you a sense of value. You do not need someone else to make you important. Focus on you and your daughter. You aren't ready to date or get into a relationship. You're in a place where you would be a target for a man who wants to use you. You need to grieve the relationship you had. Try finding a support group (or just use us!). Reconnect with your family/friends.

Honestly dating should be the last thing on your mind right now. You need to heal before you think about finding someone else. It is also CRITICALLY important for you to learn that your self worth is NOT dependent on a man desiring you as you never want our daughter to grow up with that attitude.

This was a terrible blow. No question at all about that. It's going to take time. And you need to quit "pain shopping" by looking at their social media. Two assholes got together. They probably deserve each other. Is there anyway you can have a third party arrange the transfers with your daughter? At this point in time you would better off not seeing him, talking to him, etc.

My DH married a woman (2nd wife) who had been left by her first DH for another woman. During the 15 years that DH and 2nd wife were married DH literally spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on legal fees as she and her DH had the most horrible high conflict relationship ever. So what happened next? BM (after transferring all assets out of DH's reach and leaves him to remarry her ex.

I did not know DH then but I am sure that he was devastated - both emotionally and financially. I met him several years later (and was his first relationship after the divorce). We are so happy together. Almost every day he tells me how happy he is and what a great wife I am. And I know he really, really means it. His life is so much better with me than it ever was with her on their best days.

It is not pathetic to want to be loved. It is a basic human desire. I am the type of person to move from one relationship to another, I see no problem in doing that. Just make sure that you don't seek that love from your ex and if you find someone else be very aware that it will probably be a rebound relationship and not to get too deeply involved too quickly, just enjoy it.

TBH this is my worst nightmare. I am so sorry that you have to live with it. Just be glad to be out of it and away from a man that clearly doesn't know what he really wants and doesn't know how to be faithful. Focus on your daughter, being your own best friend, and doing small things everyday that make you feel a little better.

Sending you as many cyber hugs and emotional support as I can.

I know it may seem difficult but be thankful, be thankful that this has happened now rather than in a few years time, be thankful you alone are able to bare the feeling of being abandoned and your daughter is spared of that torturing feeling. Your baby is young, she will now grow up not knowing any different, sure there may be moments in later years that she can vocalise her feelings on him having gone back to the BM, but she is too young to have any memory of it.
Be thankful that the relationship happened, this man failed, he failed you, he failed as a husband (twice now) and hes failed as a father. BUT he did give you your daughter, as difficult as this situation may be imagine how much worse it would be without that little girl.
You are naturally feeling depressed, imagine how much worse that depression would be if that little girl didnt need you?

Your ex played a dangerous game, he wanted his cake and to eat it too, its cost him, now hes re-marrying. Can you imagine how that marriage is going to play out? The second he puts a foot wrong this whole thing will be used against him. Bm has won a big power game, she was able to get him back, his balls are well and truly in her possession. Once he realises that he will begin a long battle to try to reclaim them and chances are he will give up. He will lose.

If hes emailing you saying he still loves you then you need to either block him or respond to him once to tell him he is only permitted to contact you in regards to your daughter. Shut down any and all additional contact.

You had picture perfect, but thats the problem, picture perfect is far from perfect. There is always more to something that meets the eye. All you need to do now is concentrate on you and your daughter.
You need to start networking, you can easily use your daughter as an excuse to get out and about. Baby/toddler meet ups, make friends with some other mums. Start building a group up that have NOTHING to do with your ex.
You will get there, honest to god you will.
From what I remember from your previous posts you have handled this whole thing with incredible dignity. I would probably have been pushed to property damaging psychotic behaviour, on a good day.

Find some things that you really enjoy and take some time for yourself but remember it is ok to grieve, the end of a marriage is like a death, its the death of a marriage, death of so many promises and a life that "should" have been. Grieving for it is perfectly ok, but in grieving for it you do need to let it go, which does mean stop torturing yourself with social media. People only ever post the good bits publically.

Oh and if you ever need to vent, message here, heck if you dont want to post in the forums feel free to pm me. Friends can be born from the most surprising of places

You are not left with nothing!!!! You have a beautiful child!!! And BM does not have her "happy family" back together if your ex is sending you I love you and miss you emails while planning his wedding with her. Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet!

Sending you and your little gazillion of cyber hugs. At this moment you don't need to focus on dating. Put all your energy on your baby and yourself. DH doesn't want to see your baby then it's his lost. Just need him to pay his CS and does him part per divorce agreement. If he doesn't, write it down and will bring his sorry ass back to court for more money. Don't check BM's fb. Don't call DH. Don't answer his text. Don't contact BM. Whatever you need to communicate to him, do it thru email so you have record. Don't try to hold on to anything in the past. Whatever happened already happened. You can't change it. Let past be past. Close that door completely and don't look back. Focus on future. Love will come when you least expect it and you will make a better, wiser choice for you and your little one. Mediate, yoga....do whatever it take to clear your mind first. The rest will come before you know it. Life is too short to waste on those loser. You n your little one deserve better. Best of luck.

A

1. Stay away from social media. A couple of months break would be nice.
2. You don't need to get a man so soon after a break up. Lean on friends and family. And go for counseling. Counseling is very important.
3. Don't date anyone just now.
4. Keep yourself busy. Keep busy at work and get into activities with your daughter to take up your time and attention. Join book clubs, volunteer somewhere etc.
5. Sometimes a physical move is necessary to get a clean break - at least for a while.
6. Don't focus on your ex and BM. Everyone gets to live their own life now.

Agree with above post. Your revenge is finding happiness. Even if it is not with another man. Find happiness with your daughter. A book that has helped me is Codependent No More. If DH doesn't want to see DD, good. Take her to the park or swimming or camping. Do things as a family. She will appreciate it so much and none of these things are expensive. If dh and bm see you upset, then they win. You want to be the winner, so don't give them what they want. And if dh wants to see DD, make it on your time. Don't let him control anything about your life. That scumbag is not worth it.

I've been dreaming that this is what is going to happen to me. I feel horrible that you are going through this but they are right you can get through this. He's not as happy as BMs social media is playing to be. She's probably adding extra doses to throw in your face so stop torturing yourself by looking. Have you ever watched Sex in the City 2, it picks up right after Carrie's fiancé ditches her at the alter. Well in the movie there's this line that made me think of you. She asks when she will be able to smile again or be happy. And then Charlotte ended up crapping herself and she realizes that you'll smile again when something is just so funny you can't help it. You will have this moment. Maybe your baby girl will do something amazing and it's going to make your day. And if that doesn't motivate you then strive to be the strongest, most independent BM around and show your Ex's BM how she's supposed to act and coparent. Keep in mind that they seperated once before so there's shenanigans won't hold up this time either. Just sit back and start building up your life so that you don't need any man and especially not that loser that's engaged while filling your inbox

I know how you feel. You want to have someone care about you and share your life with you and... but sweetie, for now this isn't what you need, it is what you want.

Dating is off the radar for now. Don't do it. Go out to a movie with friends or something. But no dating. You are not ready. You have to wait this out until you don't really care if you never date again or meet a man. Then he will fall into your world.

If your ex is texting you love messages just tell him this is inappropriate and he obviously mis-sent the text. The next time it happens forward the text to BM and add 'I think this was supposed to be sent to you'. After that, delete.

Try not to cyber-stalk them. Even if you start with "I will not cyber stalk until the fridge is cleaned out/ after DDs afternoon nap/I have finished this chapter of this book."

Find a mothers group. Start with your local library. They have reading time for babies and toddlers.

And I know you feel useless. But you are aren't. You are a better person than to live a life with someone who cannot 100% commit to you.

Ugh! This is so painful and I KNOW of what I speak. My DH cheated on me with BM2 who he recently connected with when she announced her 15 year old daughter is actually his. He's now playing happy families with his newly discovered Teen and her mom. Crushed does not begin to describe how awful it is. Needless to say DH & I are in the midst of divorce proceedings.

If it's any consolation, it's only a matter of time before they get a second divorce. If it didn't work the first time, it's not going to work a second time. I feel sorry for their kid. She's going to be all kinds of confused.

You're too good for this mess.