Should we ban BM's mom??
The SD's got a call today that really upset DH today. BM's mom called and asked to talk to DH. She went on this spiel about how she likes my DH (not true). She wants to mail the SDs some envelopes so they can send her letters. DH agreed to it. Then she asked to talk to the SDs.
Apparently, she hasn't realized that the SDs always turn the phone on speakerphone. She started telling them that she really doesn't like DH but she will pretend to be his friend so she can talk to them. She also told them that they can mail her and their mom letters without telling us. She told SD9 to turn the envelopes into the school office and let them mail it out. She also told them that she will be driving down to visit them and they don't have to tell us. She said she will just pick them up.
Of course, we will report her for kidnapping if she tries this. However, DH is torn on whether or not he should stop her from talking to the kids. The judge told BM that we did not have to tolerate anyone trying to start trouble. And, I think this qualifies. The whole thing is just ridiculous...
- CompletelyPuzzled's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I think DH was so passive b/c
I think DH was so passive b/c the grandma had a massive stroke last month and is not doing well. We don't really think she can make it down here. But, your right, we should have intervened immediately. We were both in shock. And, the SDs were trying to get her off the phone. I think DH needs to have a talk with them b/c I wonder if they thought we would be mad at them.
I don't know how she thinks she can kidnap them. Neither grandma or BM are on the pick up list at school. The school has the legal paperwork and knows that BM is only allowed to pick them up if she is granted visitation and DH lets them know in advance. The judge ruled that BM can visit them 4 times a year here in our state. So we can't completely block her, but grandma has no rights.
DH already planned to stop the phone calls. And, the package with the envelopes is not going to make it here. We have a meeting with both schools about all this stuff. It will be brought up that the SDs are not to call or mail anyone without our permission.
Wow. Idk what's more crazy -
Wow. Idk what's more crazy - that she said all that crap - or that you & your DH heard it all, in front of the girls, and said and did nothing.
I am by no means trying to be rude, but that is pathetic. He needs to stand up for those kids. By staying silent he is reinforcing the idea that BM/GBM have the power. Don't WAIT for her to kidnap them! Wtf.
Calls, letters, all contact stops now. Let GBM know why if you'd like. & talk to the girls about it. Also, tell the school what is going on so that they can be on the look out for GBM.
I can't imagine why you or
I can't imagine why you or your DH would even have to think twice about letting someone like this be in the girls' lives. They do not need that kind of influence, and from a supposed adult, no less!
Ban the bitch.
Yeah, reading the first
Yeah, reading the first paragraph I was going to say one thing (importance of child/grandparent relationships). Then I got to paragraph two and the speakerphone :jawdrop:
That grandmother just lost all privileges I might have bestowed her. You need to make very clear to the school that the girls are never to be released from the building to anyone other than Dad/you. That no mail coming to the school addressed for either child should be given to the children and instead handed to Dad/you. If you happened to get that speakerphone conversation taped, you need to take it down to see if you can get a restraining/no contact ordered issued against the grandmother (that will legally ban sneaky ol' Grandma).
You gave the woman a chance and she blew it in the very first phone call. Get the safety measures set up and if the girls have phones/internet access safeguard the devices and/highly limit and monitor them. The girls will be livid, Dad needs to explain that he didn't do this/cause this. Grandma did.
Okay, your GBM sounds just
Okay, your GBM sounds just like Medusa!! Waaaaay back when DH first got custody, she was emailing the skids without our knowledge. She wasn't emailing normal mother things like, "how is school going?" and "I sure do miss you," but idiotic stupid things like "find where your dad keeps the stamps, write me letters and take them to your teachers to mail out. Tell your teachers that your dad won't let you see or talk to me and they will help you."
I don't what is wrong with these asshole women, but they are out there.
As for your situation, cut that stupid GBM out and never look back.
I can't imagine the teachers
I can't imagine the teachers mailing out items after hearing that dad won't let them see or talk to her. No way would that happen. Thinking that it would is another example of warped thinking.
well, no one ever accused
well, no one ever accused Medusa of having clear thinking
I just filled out the SD's
I just filled out the SD's information. Neither BM or anyone of her family is on the pick up list. Only me and DH. I will be reinforcing this with both schools when DH and I meet with the principals next week.
damn.... stupid bitch. i'd
damn.... stupid bitch.
i'd send a cease and desist letter by certified mail, block her from all phones, and ensure the school is aware. my MIL pas'd out oss, so i can see where this is headed... sorry hun (((hugs))) but your dh really needs to openly discuss this with the girls so they dont feel caught in the middle.
Yep, I think you are right.
Yep, I think you are right. Its been a lot to take in. Not only are we getting these kids settled, but all of BM's crazy relatives are coming out of the wood work. We have had over 10 friend requests on FB from her relatives. We just keep blocking them.
Would you let your kids be
Would you let your kids be friends with other kids who encourage the skids to lie to yall or sneak around? No you wouldn't so you should get rid of Granny. Tog is right, she's toxic and is encouraging the skids to disobey your husband and do things that will get them in trouble. I can't believe you would just sit there and let her talk crap about their dad in front of them.
Since you were both in shock
Since you were both in shock listening to her tell the skids to disobey you (I get that, it's easy to be blindsided and not know what to say, hind sight is 20/20) the first thing you need to do is sit the skids down and have a talk with them.
They need to understand that she is very wrong. Tell them that you won't be doing any of the things she asked and that DH is going to call her and tell her all of this. They need to know she was wrong but don't need to be part of it.
Then call GM and tell her the phone was on speaker and the skids won't be sending any letters or talking to her anymore. Then hang up, don't listen to her drama, because you know there will be some.
Talk to the skids and see if they really want to talk to her. If it's important to them then relent and let them, always on speaker. Make sure the skids know that there will be no private conversations because she broke the trust. It's good for kids to understand that you can make mistakes and be forgiven but that there are consequences.
I believe her DH got full
I believe her DH got full custody because BM is unfit.
Sorry, I am work. Yes, DH
Sorry, I am work. Yes, DH has full custody. He just won a few weeks ago b/c she is unfit.
Wow, no questions about where
Wow, no questions about where your BM gets her crazy from, huh?
CP, it seems like the hits just keep on coming for you and your family, I am sorry. BUT, I truly view your story as a success story. I'm sure the next few months will be bumpy, but once the SDs settle in and get their new routine going, I really think you guys will be in a much better place.
What the heck, I'm feeling optimistic today.
And I would absolutely block GBM and "bare her ass" as our friend Rags says. She should be called out for her ridiculous behavior.
Please do update.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/
http://www.steptalk.org/node/221243