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Advice Please

just_tired's picture

Thinking about writing BM in jail and asking her to sign her parental rights over and allow myself to adopt the kids. Also let her know I would never stop the kids from seeing her or talking to her if they want, but her having any legal rights to them will not help them and it has only hurt them.

What do all of you wonderful step parents like

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just_tired's picture

DH has sole legal and physical custody, he obtain that back in Sept. She agreed to it rather than having all her dirty laundry shown to the judge.

just_tired's picture

Right in county jail, but don't know what or where she'll end up after the grand jury

DaizyDuke's picture

I'd hold off then. If her future is uncertain, I highly doubt she would agree to anything, as she is probably holding out hope for a good outcome (for her) Now, if GJ indicts her and a lengthy prison term is handed down, then she might be more open to your offer.

just_tired's picture

She is very high drama but it's always about her. She was on assistance and received CS before CPS took the kids away in her state last March, that's when DH got an emergency custody order done in our state. We have had the kids since then and obtain sole legal and physical in Sept. She has been arrested a total of 7 times in 2014. Assault and drinking is her issue, I am sure drugs are a problem also she just hasn't been caught with them. The most recent arrest they were serving her with a warrant and apparently didn't like that and took 3 to 4 swinging at the officer, so now she's sitting in county until the grand jury meets on Feb 10th. She still has 4 other open cases on her that she still has to do court dates for because she never completes anything the judges tell her to do. I am not very worried about her ever getting the kids back, for one her own family knows how well the kids are doing and what stable life we are giving them. Something they never had with her. She now owes us CS and is very behind because she hasn't paid one penny.

just_tired's picture

She also has a lot of mental issue ahs well, we have been told by her family she is using meth as well. I don't want to erase her from their lives but I want to make damn sure she never gets the kids back. The kids are YSS7 he is hearing impaired born at 26 weeks, 12 blood transfusions and 3 brain bleeds, MSD8 is prefect and tells me almost daily she looks at me like I'm her real mom, OSS10 has "ADHD" and also pituitary dwarfism which I give him a nightly shot of growth hormones.

In her care the kids missed more school than going, they now have prefect attendance. Never got medication correctly, hell one time we found 4 bottles of antibiotic in her trunk that was never opened or given to the 2 kids it was prescribed for. YSS would go without his aids because she never knew where they were. SD is now a straight A student, YSS is in a special hearing impaired/deaf class and is making huge improvements. OSS is doing a lot better than he was but he has a long way to go, but we will get him there.

I refuse to ever give up on these kids or walk away from them. They deserve better, DH and I will make sure they get everything they need to become fabulous adults someday no matter where their BM is or goes.

Jsmom's picture

I don't see the benefit as long as she is alive. You already have full custody and legal custody. She is a bad case, and will probably never get custody again. Leave it alone.

just_tired's picture

Thank you to everyone, when you are so emotionally invested to hard to see the other side. So thank you for showing it to me.