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DH sending a letter

just_tired's picture

Submitted by just_tired on Thu, 03/19/2015 - 1:47pm

There is something very important that I need to discuss with you and I feel very strong about what I am going to say and ask. First off I am so lost on what to think about you and the things you keep choosing to do. Since we divorced you have been a downward spiral and have subjected our kids to all of it, that’s not okay. I was never aware of how bad off you were or how bad you made life for the kids until I filed for full custody. After I filed for full custody I learned so much and it broke my heart to know the kind of life my kids were living with you. Between them missing school way too much, being late to school a ton, not doing homework and Dr. Hopper threatening to press medical neglect charges on you because Samuel wasn’t getting all the therapies he needed. I was under the impression that you were actually taking care of our children, I was sadly wrong.

A year ago this month is when you supposedly tried to commit suicide with the kids in the house asleep, you told the officer and myself it was for attention and you lost the kids because you were so selfish and wanted attention from someone else that you risked killing yourself with the kids there. If you would have been successful our children are the ones that would have found you, what a horrible thing to think about. Suicide is the most selfish thing one person can do. By this time you had already been arrested a couple of times. We are now up to 8 arrests in a year and 3 months and you have a criminal case going to trial soon, you are looking at serving 1 to 5 years. I also know that you supposedly cried suicide again and that’s what lead you to being arrested for violation of release. I promise you are done making broken promises to the kids.

My main fear right now is what would happen to the kids is something horrible should ever happen to me. Their mother not fit to raise or their mother is in jail, where would my kids go?!?!? I want them to stay in SM’s custody if something God awful would ever happen to me. So I am asking you to sign your parental rights over so SM may have the right to adopt them. We are not looking to push you out of their lives, you are their mother and will always be their biological mother. I just want to make sure they stay in the same household and have the same stable life style SM and I have given them. I am truly looking out for the best interest of the kids and with you facing 1 to 5 years and having a long road to ever become the mother they need, I want to make sure they will be taken care of the way the deserve. I need you to understand this is not about you, it’s only about what’s best for the kids and what the kids need.

Comments

momandmore's picture

Submitted by momandmore on Thu, 03/19/2015 - 1:58pm

I didn't have to have BM's consent to become legal guardian and it didn't cost anything.

Either way, good luck!

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Thu, 03/19/2015 - 2:37pm

Something like this is perfect. Definately second the lawyer advice...they might be able to suggest if there is some middle ground between adopting and SM having no rights. Just so that BM can feel like her children aren't being taken away from her and will be more likely to agree?

Maxwell09's picture

Submitted by Maxwell09 on Thu, 03/19/2015 - 4:14pm

Someone else posted a similar letter to their skids BM this week and someone's response was perfect for this; it was along the lines of:

Your DH is trying to say SHE needs to keep in mind that this decision is not about her as a mother but for the kids BUT you just listed 3/4 of a page of reasons why she isn't a good mother and should give your DH what he wants. Do you see how that's counter-productive? If he's trying to make it about the kids then you/he needs to nix all that crap about how she's failed as a mother. I mean there's a good chance she already knows how terrible she is without you having to throw it in her face. In fact I'm willing to bet that ALL of the psycho BMs we have to deal with know just how terrible they are and that's exactly why they give us such a hard time. You should just mention to that if anything were to happen to you (DH) while she is incarcerated, it would be best if the kids could still remain with SM in the house they are being raised in...allude to the fact that it is only a situational thing and that she will still have her rights if she gets out even if that's not true.