Quick Vent-No Luck Sleeping
It's nearly 2am and I'm so tired and sleepy. I have been trying for the last hour to go to sleep but have failed epically. Why??
SD20 and her half-sister who is 15 (and no relation to H, but SD's BM's other Daughter who is staying with us for the week) are both awake and creeping around the house making noise and being disruptive. Anyway I have been in the bedroom, H is peacefully passed out and sleeping like a baby (as usual) and totally oblivious to everything, meanwhile I am awake with our two little Yorkies who are highly protective and spastic at every sound.
I have been up and down from the bed and in and out of the door constantly to inspect noise, let the dogs see what is going on, helping calm them down, etc. I am beyond frustrated! H lays here sleeping and I can't even get comfortable for 5 minutes!!
So anyway, I hear this very LOUD banging noise and it's so incredibly close to the bedroom door. I was so flustered and the dogs started going crazy, so I jump off the bed and storm to the door and when I sling it open, there is SD20 and her Half Sister 15 standing bent over in front of the couch table that's beside the bedroom door in the corner of the hallway....opening and shutting the drawers. I asked annoyed "What are you doing!?!" SD20 replies "Looking for rubber bands." I was puzzled.....here it was past 1am and they're frantically looking for rubber bands??? I asked why and SD20 tugs on her hair and shows me this side braid she has...she tells me she needs a rubber band for the end of her braid.
Of course I looked at her like she was crazy and said, "You have ponytail holders. Where are your ponytail holders?" MIND YOU SHE IS TWENTY FREAKING YEARS OLD.......SD tells me that a ponytail holder isn't big enough to wrap around her braid......like WTF!?! Yes it is! A ponytail holder is more than big enough to wrap around the end of SD's thin little braid.
So I storm off to the kitchen where the junk drawer is that has a big bag of rubber bands and retrieve it for SD. In the meanwhile SD had snuck into my bathroom while I was in the kitchen, gotten into my hair supply drawer and taken one of my little Yorkies, itsy bitsy tiny hair bands, brings it to me and says "This will work"
Are you kidding me???? You make all this racket and noise for a rubber band because your ponytail holder "isn't big enough" and you go and take my 3lb Yorkies itsy, bitsy miniature sized rubber band for your hair??
Stupid, ignorant crap like this is one small example why I'm fed up with SD.
OH and she just texted me btw. Telling me how she was going to sleep at her BF's apartment so she could help him pack tomorrow for his trip back to Louisville. So she's going to ditch her Sister so she can go off and party I'm sure. It's 2am coming off of a Saturday night, I highly doubt SD is going to campus just to spend the night to innocently help her BF pack for tomorrow. Another lie and lame cover story yet again that she thinks I believe.
I told her to lock the doors on her way out.
Guess what? She left. I went to check and SHE DIDN'T LOCK THE DOORS. Go figure.
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So, quick update: SD left and
So, quick update:
SD left and didn't lock the doors. In response I texted her and the conversation goes as this:
Me: You didn't lock the doors. You need to use your key to lock the bottom doorknob and the outside glass door.
SD: Not the glass one so I told *half sister* too
Me: It's your responsibility not hers. I asked you to do it.
SD: I had left already
Me: That's the point *SD* You are supposed to lock the doors as you leave.
I swear folks. This is coming from a 20 year old!!
Simple tasks, she can't even complete. She can't listen to anything. She has to push responsibility and blame on others.
You're correct. Wow. I have
You're correct. Wow. I have read a few already and feel a tremendous and yet guilty relief that I'm not the only one dealing with or that has dealt with this ridiculous and disgusting mini-wife BS.
True story, SD20 not only
True story, SD20 not only doesn't lock the doors behind herself BUT she doesn't unlock the doors either when she arrives home. I'm beginning to think she has an IQ of 10 and can't manage something as simple as the concept of a key.
The dog issue is a touchy subject for me. I'm a childless SM and my two adorable little Yorkies are my babies, I feel for you Sweet Pea when it comes to your Chihuahua. I can't stand, I mean I really despise the way SD interacts with my dogs. She's way too rough with them and she's sneaky and mean to them when we're not around or she thinks we're not looking. We have had World War 3 in the home over the way SD has treated my dogs. She did eventually get much better with them, but in the beginning I could have seriously strangled her and beaten her nearly to death over it. I'll say this, I would NEVER leave her alone with them or ever allow her to dog sit them if H and I went out of town.
And yes! She sure did.....left her Sister here because I'm sure she went out to party and have a little romp with her BF.
Yes Ma'am, that is my
Yes Ma'am, that is my SD20!
That was also an issue last night, the not turning anything off. Every time I'd go down the hall to inspect the noise, the hall lights were on, her bathroom door was flung open with both lights on in there, the air vent going....she had her dirty clothes strung all over the bathroom floor from actually taking a shower (her 3rd in 11 days, which she admitted to me).
In a nutshell (I'm going to make a more detailed blog about it later), SD20 NEVER does anything she's supposed to do.
Mine is opposite on the BF front. She's goes through them like Kleenex and every single one is supposedly "the one" and she's madly in love with them and going to marry them, lmao....then they're gone in 2 weeks.
You may want to sit your DH
You may want to sit your DH down and read him the riot act: he must lay down the law. Institute the rules: No loud noises after 10 pm, lock the doors when you leave, access to the master bathroom/bedroom remains off limits, etc.
You seem to be very focused on details, and engage SD by disussing her assinine choices. Why bother? Nail house rules to the front door, disengage, and just take care of your own needs.
Assume that 20 is the new 12. If there is something she cannot do for herself - her daddy should do it. Why should he sleep through her shenanigans? You could wake him up and let him deal with them.
Pilgrim, I have actually been
Pilgrim, I have actually been considering making notes and signs and posting them ALL OVER the house where need be to remind and que SD to follow freaking directions and do what she's supposed to do for once.
I wasn't sure if that would be going overboard or not. Do you think I should?
SD actually has printed out copies of the house rules and expectations (thanks to me). That's the thing, we've both been over them a million times with her. I still push her to follow the rules every day. H has given up and is convinced that SD is "a typical college kid" and "everything is normal" "all kids do it" "she can't be perfect". Bullshit. Just justifies and defends her disregard for the rules and our home.
StepAside, It is BS =( Yes, I
StepAside,
It is BS
Yes, I am going off the premise that H should be parenting and directing SD. Why? Because for the first year that SD lived here, I did so myself. I was fully engaged and involved. I tried so terribly hard and it consumed me. I became exhausted and burned out and I only grew angry, stressed and tense when SD wasn't responding and listening to me or respecting me as a parental figure.
I have been disengaged for a good 6 months now. I actually tried waking H up last night, I ranted to his face even and he just looked at me and rolled over and went back to sleep. He didn't care. He was getting good rest and sleep and blew me off. His attitude was basically 'well, it's not bothering me. It's your problem'. Another HUGE issue I've been having because this is H's reaction to everything concerning SD.
I don't feel there was a topic at all, except an unspoken 'get the hell away from my bedroom door right now' theme. When I stormed off the bed and angrily flung open the bedroom door and nastily asked what they were doing, SD and her Sister knew that I was pissed. I was very visibly upset and salty about the whole situation. I hurried to the kitchen to hurl the bag of rubber bands on the counter out of complete and utter frustration. Not to pacify SD, but in the moment, get her the hell away from my bedroom door and out of the drawers.
Yes, her half sister from BM is here. All of SD's family and friends are a state away, she recently visited for a week and wanted to spend more time with her Sister. We allowed her to bring her Sister back with her. Surprisingly the Sister is actually a really good and sweet kid. She has nothing to do with BM at all, hates her guts so that tells you right there she's much smarter than SD who thinks her jailbird Mother hung the moon. But, yes she ditched her!!
I agree!! Thanks to everyone
I agree!!
Thanks to everyone who replied. I have now realized that I should have MADE H wake up and deal with it himself. I should have pressed on and not let him off the hook so easily.
This morning, I read the texts off to H. I explained the situation from last night and I warned him....that if it happens again tonight or any other time, HE will be the one dealing with it and not me. I was shocked that he had no rebuttal. No asinine comments, no defense for SD.