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BM I look a mess? Really :D

BMnotallowed's picture

Submitted by BMnotallowed on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 4:33pm

OK I have to type this after LMAO so hard I peed a little. BM came by to get the girls for her family reunion. I admit I'm not MAXIM magazine ready. I'm four months pregnant in my sweats with a messy bun. I'm pale skinned and red faced because I'm not feeling well but come on now. I open the door and BM goes " wow you look a mess" with a little chuckle. She leaves and whispers to DH "I hope the kid looks like you". Really BM with your over inflated breast spread so far apart you could fit another boob in the space. Your lumpy jelly figure that you call " curvacious" That you stuffed into a short tube dress. you look more pregnant than I do and your not even pregnant. Not to mention your bleach blonde extensions are showing. I love the red pumps on your horse hoofs. Yeah I went there. Face looking like a natural disaster hit it. That make up is not hiding a thing honey. And you have the balls to run around saying your all natural. The only thing natural on you is the hair on your chinny chin chin!

No I am not jealous. I needed to vent. Only thing I'm jealous of is her getting to not have morning noon and night time sickness. Feel free to blast your BM's or anyone else who makes you ill at the site of them or their voices. I wont judge you.

Comments

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:40pm

hahahah I literally laughed out loud on this one. MIne skid smells like a port o john lately from all the pissing on herself.

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:48pm

I so wish it wasn't true but she is nasty. I take pride in my appearance and hygiene but clearly BM never taught her how to even wipe properly or I guess at all?? I've tried to work with her for two years to teach her how a girl takes good care of herself and takes pride in being clean, brushing hair, brushing teeth, etc.. the simple stuff right? Wrong SD8 acts like I'm the anti-christ for having these unrealistic expectations of her and SO is a F-ng moron and just wants his sweet angel to be happy. Well yall can be happier than pig in shit and smell like it too because I'm done with these tards. They are on their own for laundry, cleaning, toting her here and there. I'm taking my life back and me and my BD11 will just do our own thing. So DAAAADDDDDYYYYY better get his apron on and get the bleach because SD8 needs a clean up on aisle 1!

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 6:00pm

I am truly using my humor to function and not hurt these people. I find myself to be a rational person with the usual expectations of SD8 and BD11, I would never expect SD8 to behave any differently than I do my own child. I treat them exactly the same but SO undermines me at every turn and I'm DONE. My BD11 is going to the beach tomorrow and I'm going to come home and sit out on the patio with my dog and have some adult beverages and IDGAF what SD8 and SO do for dinner or entertainment. I hate being the one with the biggest balls in the house, well balls at all, but that's what it's boiled down to up in here!

Stepmonster1981's picture

Submitted by Stepmonster1981 on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:12pm

LMFAO!! Hair on her chinny chin chin. Give her some tweezers lol.

BM nappy hair, puffy face and my lord when she tries to put make-up on it looks like a 2 year old drew on her face with crayons LOL.

newbiemommy's picture

Submitted by newbiemommy on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:26pm

Lmao. I bet all natural and pregnant you look ten times hotter than she does. My BM used to try to talk shit about ANYTHING. she is a very large previous meth head. So she looks like a cheap hooker...

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 6:39am

Exactly!

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:51pm

Yes absolutely! I'm not nearly as calm and classy as you because I would have laid it out for her if she talked about me in ear shot like that. And please slap the taste out of your DH's mouth for not telling her ugly nasty ass to refrain from talking ugly about his beautiful pregnant wife!

Rose.Colored.Glasses's picture

Submitted by Rose.Colored.Glasses on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 12:30am

^ Yup he should have come to your defense. My FDH walks over eggshells with BM, but he would never allow her(and she wouldn't) to talk like that, especially in earshot. You have more self control than I do, I wouldv'e had some choice words for her.

SD says some things sometimes that I know had to have come from BM. I just laugh. Like what you said, I'm not Maxim magazine material and I'm def not full of myself, but I know for a fact I look waaaay better than BM. She's probably about 5'2" and 170lbs., I've got 3 inches on her and 50lbs less. Her bad mouthing actually makes feel good. She has to talk shit to make herself feel better; shit that's not even true. lmao

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 6:14pm

Ha! Smile

Cadence's picture

Submitted by Cadence on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:52pm

Looks like it's time to keep her from opportunities to interact by telling her to stay in her car. Skids can walk outside to her, can't they?

blayze's picture

Submitted by blayze on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 5:56pm

Oh no she didn't! :jawdrop:

I would love to say:

BM, can I borrow 2 of your chins? We're grilling kielbasa and your neck would make the perfect bun!

or BM, you have two asses! Oh sorry, that's just your face and your over-inflated uterus.

I need to go find my "Yo Mama" joke book...surely there's lots of material in there we could use. Blum 3

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 6:04pm

BM just spit out crotch dropping number 3 about a month ago and this heifer thinks she is FINE. She is an attractive woman UNTIL she opens that mean ass mouth or comes up close and you can see the pop marks on her face and the three pounds of makeup she has on. She has been squeezing back into her regular clothes when she clearly isn't ready. It looks like a can of biscuits exploded in a hot car, just saying

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 6:15pm

Can of biscuits exploded in a hot car....they're wondering why I'm rolling on the couch snorting! Lol

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 7:02pm

Ok good, I hope you can picture it in your mind because it's a sight to behold

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 7:06pm

We could all write documentaries about the sh*t we see and put up with but no one who isn't a SM or SD would even believe it

AllySkoo's picture

Submitted by AllySkoo on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 7:23pm

BM has never (to my knowledge) said anything bad about my appearance. (Or even about me in general I think.) Her current DH though... that fat, balding, badly-tattooed, ass with BO that could kill a skunk at 30 paces said I looked "like a clown" because I have "big hands and big feet". Fucking dickwad.

MamaFox's picture

Submitted by MamaFox on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 2:21am

Redd's newest beer os the strawberry, they started with Redd's Apple Ale and if the strawberry is anywhere close to the Apple, You'll LOVE it.

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 6:17am

Totally unfair that you #1 are drinking wine without us and #2 that you spit out above mentioned wine! That's alcohol abuse!

tiny kitten's picture

Submitted by tiny kitten on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 1:39am

I hate you so much right now. I'll never eat corned beef again... And I'm now scarred for life by the fact that SD7 says my corned beef is bettet than her mum's. Once it was a little victory, now it's a horror.

moeilijk's picture

Submitted by moeilijk on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 2:58am

Oh my god, I'm feeling ill now! Used to be a Reuben sandwich was nothing to gag over!

With a little mustard...

Accordn2L's picture

Submitted by Accordn2L on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 6:16am

OMG BAHAHAHAH I just spit out my drink! I haven't heard the term "Beef Curtain" since I was in high school. I'm dying laughing!

kathc's picture

Submitted by kathc on Thu, 06/19/2014 - 9:18pm

Ok I don't normally share too much personal on the public stuff here...but I want to join in.

BM here is really large. Like, epic huge. She looks like she really has to work at maintaining the girth, you know? Now, I'm not tiny but next to her I might as well be a model. And I know she's super paranoid about me being younger than her, better educated than her, having nicer things than her...so I'll make a point of saying things like, "I have got to lose those ten pounds I gained, i have to look nice in hype dress I bought for the dinner next week!" Or "wow, I can't believe how old some of my friends from high school look! My patients always ask me if I'm old enough to take care of them!" Because I know that always starts dh going on about how I don't look anywhere near my age and that I'm young anyway, that I'm beautiful and he didn't notice I'd gained any weight, etc... I just know it gets back to BM and rubs it in her face that I'm better than her. }:)

MamaFox's picture

Submitted by MamaFox on Fri, 06/20/2014 - 2:24am

Just get a note pad shaped like a witch's hat, and anytime the kids need written instructions on something or a reminder for an elective time or whatever, write on that note pad and send it with them.

Personally, I will have a poison apple note pad. Hell my new perfume is called "Wicked Step Mother".