How can DH not get this through his thick skull?

SS12 is an asshole. Every day this kid talks back, yells, argues, defies rules, disrupts our home… Personally, I believe he does this on purpose and so do a LOT of people that I have discussed this kid with – INCLUDING DH’s own mother.

SS12 hates me – it is so obvious and he has even stated out loud that he “doesn’t like me” – oh well. I don’t care. If a kid doesn’t like me because I see through his bullshit and call him on it, whoo-hoo… I’m glad because he knows he is wrong and is simply pissed that I see it for what it is. Oh and he hates me because I have assisted DH in getting his head out of his ass for the most part and actually parenting.. Big mean step mom shined a light on the fact that a 9 year old should be watching movies like “Elf” or “Taken” and posting things like the “F” word on his Instagram.. damn, I am so mean and unfair.. it’s called parenting, you brat, and I will voice my opinion because I have skin in this game. It’s called my daughter and it’s my home – it is my job as her mother to make this environment healthy and appropriate and I will put an end to things that aren’t. BTW – my daughter is 15 months younger than SS12.

Anyways.. As with most step parents, my dislike of this kid didn’t happen overnight. It evolved over the years as the experiences with this kid added up and his issues intensified. The more DH began to parent, the more SS12 began to blame me for it. And he was right some of the time because DH was the prime example of a Disney dad when I met him.

In the past 18 months, SS12 has ramped up his crap big time – not just at me, but to DH as well.. and the house in general. There isn’t a day that goes by that we do not have some type of problem with this kid. I’m not talking little things either. I can handle things like forgetting to make your bed or whatever. I’m talking big time disrespect, yelling, arguing, talking back, name calling – just outright defiance and major attitude. Read my post about this Monday’s fun filled evening and that is pretty much what happens 3 – 4 times a week.

Every experience with this kid is negative. I can not say the last time I thought “that was nice” or whatever along the lines of pleasant about this kid or an experience with him. Oh wait.. I made milkshakes and he asked for seconds because it was good – how convenient.

Does this bother me – yea, of course. But I am not the one creating this perception, SS12 is.

So after being vilified for so long and told that “you just don’t like SS12” I finally said – “yeap – you are correct. Can you blame me?”

At first DH was pissed/shocked that I just outright admitted it. Then I explained the perception SS12 has given me over the past 18 months – let alone 4 years that this has evolved over. How just about every day has some blemish on it because of SS12. We have 3 kids in this home and he is the only one we can say this about. How if we try to do something and it doesn’t suit SS12’s agenda 100%, he will create a debacle that will ruin it for all of us.

I then went on to say that I think SS12 is doing this on purpose (which several people I have spoken to about this agreed on). Why? Simple – SS12 doesn’t want me in the home because of what I represent. He also sees me as competition. His creating issues has, in the past, gotten me in fights with DH – big ones that I lost because I approached them the way I would if it were my own kid – full on, calling it what it was and laying down the consequence. Of course, little manipulator SS would play victim and DH would fall for it.. or he would lie his little ass off, pissing me off even more which lead to more fighting.. Ultimately I would get pissed at both of them and leave – SS12 got DH and I was the bad guy. SS12 won.

This doesn’t happen anymore, but boy does he try.. He now just causes stress for the entire house by making everything a big PROBLEM. Stressed people aren’t nice, for the most part, and they get irritated by other things more easily.. When SS12 battles with DH it is loud and disrupts everyone – people on the phone in other rooms, people doing homework in other rooms, people watching TV in other rooms.. It ruins our enjoyment of the home.

I really believe he (SS12) enjoys this.. seeing us all miserable and on edge because of him. When he isn’t battling, he is irritating: whistling loudly, calling the dog, making noises, asking for shit he knows he can’t have (soda, powerade) so he can argue with you some more, etc.. None of this inconveniences him, it just annoys the shit out of everyone else. It is impossible to ignore.

I told DH, the only person in this home that has the power to stop this shit is you. DH needs to confront this elephant in the room and tell it like it is. None of us deserve to live like this and our home should have peace and be happy.