I would suggest run from this man and his spawn, but I can't give advice that I didn't take myself.

You have to get DH educated on PAS and you have to parent as a team. This is the only way for blended families to survive.

He has to have your back and you have his. You have to be on the same page in everything and if his kids attack you, he has to be prepared to defend. If he can't defend you and respect you they never ever ever will. If he doesn't stand up and tell them to treat you good because you are who he loves and who he has chosen, then you are screwed. And harsh as it is, if you don't demand respect from him, what kind of example are you setting for your daughter? That it is ok to be disrespected by not just your husband, but the rest of his family.

God I wish I could go back in time and take my own advice!

Don't worry about people who are telling you not to dislike the fact that your SK looks like BM. It likely irks them too but they are trying out the holier than thou act. This is an open anonymous forum and you can say how you feel. My skid looks identical to her BM too and I dislike it. Admittedly I am sure I openly cringed the first time I realized it. I love the kid like my own but there is nothing worse than a constant unchangable reminder of the witch who is ruining your life.

That said, we rise above, turn the other cheek and keep on plowing through!

This is very typical of some posters, don't let it bug you, although I think your response was great!!!!

I see HRNYC did her typical move of picking out ONE obscure sentence out of the whole blog and putting the blame on the OP. As certain at the sun rising tomorrow, some people's comments will also be just as predictable.

10 year olds making sexual comments is a HUGE red flag. It doesn't take a crystal ball to see the future behaviors on that one. If your DH continues to parent out of guilt and not set boundaries, it will just get worse....especially when the girl is a teenager.

I would have a real problem with the inappropriate comments and programmes in front of my children. DH really needs to counteract this by reacting on the spot to set boundaries for appropriate behaviour, and make it clear what his and your views are on issues like alcohol and promiscuity. Otherwise they will naturally mimic their mother and older children at school and think they are being terribly cool and clever by acting like knowing teenagers. All children will push to act older and I have also seen my SD's being a mouthpieces for their mothers lifestyle choices of heavy drinking and messy house parties. If they live with that at home and they don't get an alternative viewpoint from their dad they will follow the path of least resistance.

On the wider issues of how you manage issues when SDs are in residence - given that your DH seems to be trying to back you up but you are both struggling with how to handle the situation I would get some books on stepparenting and parenting teenagers, both read them and sit down and try to form an action plan. Think about common problem behaviours and how you are both going to respond. Decide what consequences will be enforced. If one child is particularly bad with inappropriate comments DH should have a quiet word with her and talk about the implications of what she is saying, how it reflects on her, and make it clear that he does not want to hear that kind of talk. If you can have a family meeting and set out some rules on TV - what programmes are and are not suitable etc, and rules on behaviour to each other e.g. how they behave with your 6 year old and how he should behave. If possible perhaps get some family counselling for you and DH for more support and help dealing with things.