Is DH's expectation realistic?
DH works from home.. has the house to himself all day. I go to an office every day.. rush out the door and rush home to get some kid some place almost every day..
We have his kids full time, my BD a week on and a week off.
On the weeks we only have his kids, I still get my daughter Tuesday and Thursday after school due to her fathers schedule - due to her sports I am literally gone till almost 8pm on those nights.
On Wednesday, ss12 has his weekly football game.. Dh goes to his game from 4:30 - 6pm. I have gone to a couple, but really.. I don't want to.. this is my only night at home, alone where I can just chill. I can watch TV (the shows I want), take a bath, read a book, bake something.. just have some much needed me time..
DH now is of the impression I should go to every game of ss12's on the weeks I don't have my daughter.. I already put my foot down regarding dragging her to each and every one on the weeks I have her..
I mean, the kid barely plays and when he does, usually screws something up - so DH just sits there frustrated and bitching about it.. oh, what fun that is.
I don't demand DH goes to each and every one of my daughters games.. out of 6, he has only been to 2 of them..
Am I being selfish? Should I be expected to go?
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No..DH did not go to all of
No..DH did not go to all of my kids stuff and I did not go to all of SS stuff. I would just tell DH, that when you get a chance to sit back and relax, you are going to. And if he wants to push the point, then he can start going to EVERY ONE of your kids extra activities.
But he actually sounds like the type that thinks his kids are so great that everyone SHOULD go watch them. But other kids are just other kids and he will see no need to exert himself for that.
NOPE. You're not being
NOPE. You're not being selfish, you're trying to take needed time to relax. He's the one being selfish by trying to demand you be at his kid's games instead of doing something for yourself!
Nope. You need the "me" time
Nope. You need the "me" time more then ss needs a cheering section. Stick to your guns.
How dare you? You're
How dare you? You're incredibly selfish! You should never have any alone time! .......NO, you're not selfish. At all. It's not fair for your DH to expect you to run yourself ragged. Everyone needs alone time and everyone deserves it. Stand your ground.
I LOVE my me time and do all
I LOVE my me time and do all the things that you listed. I've had to fight for it though. SO plays ball 3 days a week, I play with him one day. He felt that once I started going with him, I always had to go with him if I didn't have other plans. After awhile it just got to be too much. I never had any ME time, we were always together if we weren't working. It wasn't even his kid he was pushing the issue for.
I think going occasionally is good, shows you are supporting the kid.
Your DH should be thinking
Your DH should be thinking clearer.. tell him this.. wouldn't it be better for you to come home and find me chilled, relaxed and in a fabulous mood? Rather than be tense, uptight and stressed from doing something just to make you happy??
If dh doesn't go to your
If dh doesn't go to your daughters games then he should have no complaints if you don't go to his child's.
Some of them, but not all..
Some of them, but not all..
See.. he works from home and doesn't have to run his kids anywhere or rush around every day. The skids all go to practice right after school or can walk to practice when it's later.
I do. I go, go, go all the time and am gone a few days a week until close to 8pm.
My thing is this.. he gets plenty of alone/chill/go at his own pace time.. I get little to none and on the one day I can, I don't want to feel guilty for not going to ss12's game.. if it were reversed and he was running around like a maniac, I would totally understand.. especially if the kid barely played and the team stunk.. it's not like he's the star and their team is going to state championships..
Thanks guys.. he was making
Thanks guys.. he was making me feel like an asshole for not wanting to go..
I ended up rushing home (that explains why I'm not responding till the next day), changing clothes and going to the game.. which for the first half, SS12 didn't even play.. then when he did, all DH did was complain about how horrible he was..
Then I rushed to the store to get a few things we needed, then home to make dinner, finish laundry, take a shower and collapse in bed.. I was exhausted and in a bad mood.. and of course DH wanted to have some fun after the kids were in bed.. I was like "nope".. maybe if I would have had a couple hours downtime and not had to rush here and there, then maybe I would be in a better mood for you..