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I feel so jealous!! Need help step parents!!

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 3:50pm

Sad I feel jealous!! Bf had sd every weekend we both work m-f 7-5 so there's not much time to do stuff as a couple, every other weekend my girls r here so we have three girls total that all need attention n love. I feel jealous that sd gets all of my bf attention every time he has a day off. I don't even remember how long it's been since we went out on a date or had just a day together.
I need help, advice, tips.

Comments

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 4:48pm

Talk to them. If SD is there every other weekend,can she go home at noon on Sundays when your girls are at their dads. I think one date night a month is not too much to ask for. Hope you all can work it out.

Flipchip2013's picture

Submitted by Flipchip2013 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 4:53pm

Welll, she's been around before you. How did you feel when you first started dating BF? If she's been around the whole time, there must have been time for you two to "date."

What about going out on a weeknight? If you two are available by 5, that leaves plenty of time for dinner and movie/walk on the beach/mini golf, etc.

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 6:27pm

When we were " dating " if we were gonna go out on a date she would stay w his parents. Sometimes they would spend the weekend at my apartment. We would actually go out on dates spend more time together.
Don't get me wrong during the week we watch movies eat dinner but nothing outside of the house i don't even know why. I'm gonna definitely bring that up.

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 5:14pm

I was doing my nails awhile ago while they watch a movie in the living room. He text me.

Bf: Come spend time with us. You have not been around us all weekend.
(Which I admit I haven't. Sat I went to get my hair done n took 3 hrs. The rest of the day I deep cleaned out home, also our kitchen was a total mess. During all that time bf n sd did nothing but watch tv n nap)

Me: Im feel very jealous I don't feel happy
( he knew what I was talking about. During breakfast I said, "do u think we could go out on a date on the 28th? I really need some time w just u". He said yea we can ask my parents if they can watch sd.

Bf: Why can't we all watch something as a family

Me: I'm sorry but not today. I don't feel good I need time alone.

Bf: i love u

Me: Luv u 2

Truth is I do get fed up w sd. She is so annoying and I don't feel guilty about it after all I felt in love w bf not sd.
While sd is here during the weekends she wakes up at 7 n comes to our room to wake up bf which then he gets up. He doesn't get to sleep in. Which I would really like to cuddle n sleep in w bf Sad

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:19pm

No I haven't. But this morning I wake up and sd was in bed w us then they go to her room. Sad mayb I should try that, but a part of me feels like I shouldn't all I want is to cuddle and sleep in w bf.

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 6:33pm

Thank y'all for bringing up a date night during the week. I don't know why we don't, I guess we got stuck on a after work routine. But I'm gonna definitely talk to him about it and maybe we can do stuff during the week.

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:23pm

Yea I agree I end up so tired after work. I have 4 hrs after work free I really don't feel like dressing up to go out

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:36pm

Yea at this point I think anything that gives us time out of the house w just him actually having fun not chasing kids. I just want a whole day w bf just him on a day off not after work when we r both tierd.

luchay's picture

Submitted by luchay on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 7:44pm

Oh hell no to her jumping in bed with you? How old is she?

Start sleeping naked honey Wink

Explain to OH that you sometimes feel amorous in the morning but she is right there IN your bed or else HE is gone - the only 2 mornings a week you and he could have some uninterrupted couple time - he needs to set a boundary about that - NO kids in the bed or bed room, and NO interrupting the adults in bed until 8 or 9 am.

Then make him WANT and VALUE that time with you Wink

And tell him that you would be happier about daddy daughter time or family time if there was just some set you and him date time as well - it all needs to be fit in somehow, couple time is VITAL in a relationship.

Just sit him down and say you feel your relationship is getting stale, you have both fallen into a rut and you want to keep things fresh because you want to be with him forever. So you both need to work on making a bit more effort - a date night at least once a fortnight (weekly is ideal but hey we're all busy these days!) where you just be a couple - no kid talk, no bickering or budgeting or discussing upcoming family stuff, just be a couple together. And try and make a game of both of you trying to do something every day (big or small) to show your love to each other, as simple as a note in with his lunch or whatever. Just little things to make each other feel loved and thought of.

Trust me you will feel a lot less resentful and jealous of sd if you feel he is putting the effort in to YOU as well.

vsherry88's picture

Submitted by vsherry88 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 8:07pm

Now I have so much I need to talk about w him n so much I need to bring up like boundaries. And especially knowing that some of the issues is not just me.
Thanks y'all for all the advice & tips & comments Smile

cant win for losin's picture

Submitted by cant win for losin on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 8:51pm

At age 5 she should be going to bed at a decent enough time to allow you two some alone time. I know its not the same as a date. Time to network and find a teenager for babysitting. I would be asking co workers who has teens.