Article on Ex Etiquette
Ex Etiquette Tips. If you need a few tips and some ex etiquette advice, we’ve got a few to help you with a smoother breakup. First, do not invite your ex to your wedding.
There is no reason for your ex to be there. I actually know someone who asked their ex to give them away. What were they thinking? Second, do not call your ex, with whom you do not have children, to check in. Allow your ex to move on with his or her life, and you do the same.
Third, do not visit your ex or have lunch or drinks, unless you want to get back together. Honor your divorce and your new life the same way you honored your marriage. If you didn’t honor your marriage, learn your lesson and honor your divorce. Fourth, do not call your ex or e-mail him or her to tell him about a promotion, the death of a relative, or a terrific trip you just took. Don’t try to make him or her jealous or express warmth.
Fifth, if you have children with your ex don’t give your children false hopes of your getting back together with your ex — even if it means keeping distance between you two. It is more important for the children in divorce to accept the reality of their new life no matter how painful it may be. This way they can move on. Sixth, if you have a new partner, and you and your ex are friendly, you may have dinner with your ex and your children. If your partner is along, too, and your ex’s partner, if he or she has one, is included. Never disparage your ex in front of your children.
Last, assist your children in purchasing gifts and cards for their parent from whom you are now divorced. Take your children shopping so that they can buy their parent Christmas, Birthday and Mother’s Day or Father’s Day gifts that are strictly from the child. Even if you hate your ex, it is important that you allow your child to honor the parent-child relationship.
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Comments
I wish they address if your
I wish they address if your divorced & your ex wants to to leave their family alone, please move on & do so.
That one kind of makes me go
That one kind of makes me go ewwe too. We have done that, but she never reciprocates. Last year for mothers day DH took the boys to buy her an outside plant which was one of her favorite flowers. It was dead with in a week. Funny thing no other flower in the flower bed died, coincidence? It will not be occuring this year. I have decided I am all for being pleasant but my days of being the better person & going the extra mile is over.
I also agree with all the
I also agree with all the points made in the article with the exception of the last one. At most, encourage the kids to make a card, but there is no reason to purchase anything. Surely, they have relatives on that parent's side who can take them shopping. In most cases, the receiving parent will not appreciate the gift or misinterpret its meaning and make it something more than what it is. It just creates tension in an already fragile environment and is best left alone.
OMG that is great I should
OMG that is great I should email that to my BF's ex. She called him at work the other day because a tree fell near her house and she was so impressed that the city had cleared it up so quickly (and BF's friend's dad works for the city)When she was done (so proud of BF here) he asked her why she called him at work to tell him that. She just said oh sorry and hung up. She doesn't get it that he doesn't care about every stupid little thing that she does.
And she is getting married in September and I am waiting - for BF's invite to arrive. Because it's BF's weekend to have the kids and she will want him to 'wrangle' them for her. We agreed to RSVP NOT attending.
I'll be damned if my FDH
I'll be damned if my FDH spends money on gifts for BM! Hell to the NO! He spends over and above what he should on their child as it is!
I've let DD buy a gift for
I've let DD buy a gift for her dad (my XH) a couple of times but I don't feel obligated to do that. I just don't have a problem with it (they were very inexpensive gifts). I don't expect him to do the same but he did last Christmas. :shrug:
I think you can *TRY* the
I think you can *TRY* the last one in the case that there are no stepparents in involved, however, if it's not reciprocated (as in the Behemoth's all take and no give) then forget it.
Took about 3 years for GG to see the light on this one.
When XH and I were divorced,
When XH and I were divorced, I gave our kids a few dollars to buy him Father's Day or Christmas presents and reminded them to call him on his birthday. They had lists of people to buy for at Christmas and a budget.He did the same. I didn't mind, because we were teaching them how to think of other people and to give.
when i married Hubby, we started the same practice with SS, including buying something small for Demented. She has NEVER returned the gesture, even when she had SS on Father's Day. But, I will continue, because it's a skill he needs to learn.