Difficult Decision Made
After living with my girlfriend and her 2 sons for the last 3 years and after another heated verbal exchange I made the very extremely difficult dicision to move out. I made it clear to my girlfriend that I still very much wanted to remain in the relationship and in her sons lives as much as she would allow in fact her son felt bad about the things he said but I felt I had been pushed to far by the constant verbal abuse and most importantly having no control over the situation had taken it's toll. My question is has anyone out there made this very very difficult decision and still been able to maintain that relationship with the biological parent even though you no longer lived with that person and their children. Let me explain however that I moved out but purposely chose to live within a couple of minutes to help her with kids when she needed and basically to try and keep things as normal as if I lived there still. I'm usually a very optimistic person but I'm not really sure if she'll ever see that my decision was the only one to make to stop the arguing and releave the tension that existed in the house. The last month and a half has been very up and down 4 me and I hope we make it through this very difficult time.
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I think you did the right
I think you did the right thing to save your relationship. It's better to have stepped back than to end it if you both care a great deal for each other. I will say that I've seen a couple posts from one or two people who have made this decision and maintained a relationship. What is a year apart in the big scheme of things? If you truly love each other, you will find a way back to happiness but it sounds like your back was against the wall and you made the decision to take a step back to try to salvage your sanity and fix things. I hope things work out. I hope your relationship continues to grow during this time. Good Luck and don't be so quick to go right back.
It can work. My dh and I
It can work. My dh and I lived separately for 18 months because my teenage daughter could not bear to live with his much younger boys with their noise, mess and serious behaviour problems. It relieved a lot of my stress as my daughter was miserable living with the boys (not dh - she's always been fond of him) and she was much happier to return to a calm, quiet household with just me, her and our pets. I cannot pretend it was easy - we only lived a couple of miles apart and saw each other every day, but I felt torn between spending time with my dh and also spending time with my daughter and making sure she didn't feel pushed out. Luckily she was 16/17 at the time and trustworthy so I was able to leave her overnight and spend weekend nights with dh, and when she reached 18 she left home and moved into her own place nearby so my dh and his boys moved in. Everything has worked out fine - the boys are older and their behaviour is a lot better now, my daughter is nearly 21 now, has her own life and loves living in her own place and I still see her and speak to her regularly. You will probably find that it's a balancing act between spending time with your gf and you both spending time with your respective kids and you may even need to live apart till her disruptive son leaves home, but if you really care for each other and want your relationship to work, you should be able to work things out with planning and compromise.
Thanks for your insight it's
Thanks for your insight it's been a tough couple of days for me. Glad to see i'm not alone in my decision and that it can work.
Had a question was your dh
Had a question was your dh recentful towards you for awhile after you decided to move out. Because my gf has told me that she's been trying hard not be recentful towards me for not being there every day.