BM wants kids in private school, she won't pay for it and DH and I can't afford it, unless we make major sacrifices
ss5 is ready for kindergarten so DH contacted BM to try and come to an agreement regarding school. BM lives 45 minutes from our house and the kids go daycare about midway between the two homes. Costudy is 50/50. According to CO, DH would pay the monthly daycare and BM gives him her portion of it. So far, DH hasn't seen a penny. Now that it's time to enroll the ssons into kindergarden, BM insists on them going to private school, which will be more expensive than the daycare costs. As it is right now, our budget is pretty tight we'll be counting pennies once we have another child and I go on maternity leave. But if DH has to pay private school for the ssons, that means 1. we'll have to have only one child instead of the two we were planning on having. 2. I won't be able to enjoy my maternity leave and will have to go back to work as soon as the baby pops out and 3. I'll have t work full time and not enjoy MY child's first year all so that my child wil have to attend public school while BM's kids go to private school since we really cannot afford to sent 3 children to private school!
BM said she won't allow her children to go to public school and is ready to go to court over it. I know it's not fair for DH and I to want the kids to go to public school in our city since BM lives 45 minutes away, but that woman can't hold a job, has moved multiple times in the last 3 years, was evicted from her old place because she didn't pay rent in six months, and is currenlty living with a roommate. She just is not stable. And if the kids go to school in her city, that'll be a long drive for us, but also who knows how long she'll live there until she decides to move again or if the roommate moves on. Not a very stable option.
If BM and DH go to court and let's say a judge agrees with BM saying the kids should go to private school, BM will not pay her part at all. That means it's all DH (and me). I make sacrifices for those kids on a daily basis and I honestly can't make one more for BM's kids. I might be overreacting but I'm so tired of all the unecessary drama and waste of money. If BM and DH don't come to an agreement (and it looks like they won't unless BM gets her way), court will drain the rest of our saving that we have left after buying a home. Please someone tell me it will all be ok.
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The public schoold in our
The public schoold in our city is excellent, in fact one of the reasons we bought a house here is because of the school district. And no the ssons don't have disabilities. BM is just being a snob saying public schools are beneath her kids.
BM has to keep a front. She's
BM has to keep a front. She's a nobody that's always trying to do things she can't afford. She rented an apartment that cost more than she makes in a month only because that apartment is a "rich neighborhood", the ssons are going to a super expensive daycare right now because "it's the best daycare money can buy". She once threw away ss5's new shoes, then emailed DH telling him how dare he buy their son an off brand shoes.
Caviar wants with tuna fish
Caviar wants with tuna fish money. :sick:
She's just like DF's exwife. She has a huge list of high price things she expects him to "help" pay for. I have no idea how she plans to pay her part. This chick aint got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Her favorite line is "I bet Disney's son had/did XYZ when he was a kid!!"
Of course he did dumb ass~ I have always WORKED.
A judge paid by tax dollars
A judge paid by tax dollars will never agree to send a kid to private school. Let her take you to court. She doesn't even seem like she can afford to sue you. I am a proponent of catholic school and montessori, but only if you can afford it. The public school here was so good that I moved here for it and because private school was becoming too expensive for me.
You do what you want. These are just empty threats....Make her pay for the day care and enforce it consistently and point out that she has a hard time paying for that. Private school can cost up to 10K a year....
BM sent DH a list of private
BM sent DH a list of private schools she thinks the boys should attend. She won't consider anything outside of that list. The least expensive one? Costs $14,000 a year per child. That's $28,000/year! Not including extended afterschool daycare, which we'll need. And who's going to pay that $28k/year? DH of course! How will she help pay for this when she can't stay employed for more than 2 months. I'm so irritated right now!
I have served on admissions
I have served on admissions committees for two universities that are highly selective (accept 1500 out of over 40,000 applications).
There are so many priviledged kids going to private school that it actually is easier to get in if you have a stellar record at a public school. A few years ago when Texas started accepting the top 10% of a high school class some of my friends were screaming that they had paid almost $20,000 a year for their kid to go to private schools. These kids easily could have been in the top 10% at a public school - they were in the middle of their class at a highly selective high school and could not get admitted to the University of Texas.
I'm a big believer in public school thru high school unless the child is physically in danger.
Here's the thing your dh can
Here's the thing your dh can prove she is not patio.g her half of day care so what makes her or anyone let alone a judge think she has proven she can and will pay her half of private school? That alone will get her a laugh out of court.
No way.She can whinge and
No way.She can whinge and whine, you don't have to do that.
Nuts. Is DH going to agree to
Nuts.
Is DH going to agree to this?!! :jawdrop:
If there is a risk BM will wear DH down with her threats, harassment and games I would remind DH that if he wanted to remain married to me, have children with me that I would expect him to do the right thing.
NO WAY IN HELL would I be risking my own quality of life and those of my kids for bimbo brain keeping up with the Jones's BM.
You can *want* all you like in life, however what you can *have* is another story!
BTW why isn't your DH pursuing BM for her share of the kindergarden costs? I would be telling BM that given she owes you x amount (work what she currently back owes) and you both will be pursuing her debt to you, she is in no position to demand squat shit. However if she persists, then she can knock herself out and be laughed out of court.
I can't help you because DH
I can't help you because DH and I did exactly this for five years. Both DH and BM wanted SD to go to private school only BM didn't want to pay for it. So DH (before we married, unfortunately) graciously agreed to foot the entire bill. DH had to have after-school care on his time only (BM didn't/doesn't work) and BM would take advantage and use it for herself as well, with the bill going to DH.
This lasted until SD was about to enter 5th grade and I put my foot down. I did tell BM we would keep SD in private school if and only if BM stepped up and paid half. Of course that would never happen. We ended up paying about $20,000 for SD to attend private school for five years. I had to work to be able to pay this (DH was slowly going deeper and deeper into debt). We have two kids who we could not afford to send to private school but SD was entitled?
SD had a mediocre school career and is now attending a mediocre college. That $20,000 could have gone a long way toward paying her college, or it could have been banked for our kids' college. In my opinion, it was just money down the drain into the gaping money pit that is SD19.
My SO's kids went to private
My SO's kids went to private schools from K - 12. BM thought it was a necessity, he never did but went along with it. When they divorced, BM tried to get judge to agree that he had to pay for private school and CS. Judge said it was their decision together whether skids go to private school, he would not enforce it, and if BM wanted them to go she would have to use her CS as tuition. Which she did. Of course, she hit him for everything else. He paid CS plus half of everything, uniforms, books, dances, clothes, anything she spend money on she sent him a bill for his half. He paid most of it and when he stopped a few months ago after youngest turned 18 and went off to college, we haven't heard from BM but once. He finally told her 'this' is what I will pay, no more, no less. I don't know if you pay CS to her since you have 50/50, but if her CS would cover private school, then tell her to go ahead, but she has to pay it out of her CS money. If it doesn't cover it, then I would say (as others posters have said) SEE you in court!