I posted this earlier but dont see it on here-so once again...

Dh bday today. To catch up quickly, ss14 lived with us from 1-9. Bm from 9-13. The last year and half has primarily been with my mil, with the exception of a 4 month stint with us last year. He moved back in with mil last June. Since that time dh has seen him twice. Once in July, on a planned outing and once in September at a family funeral. SS has largely avoided dh, does not call, does not visit. We've done this before-the first time he lived with my mil-he has no contact with dh. Bm always pushed the contact issue as it gave her a break from ss. So anywho, this time around dh decided to quit chasing ss. In the past he would call and text, invite ss over for visits, if ss did speak to dh he would get all excited. Sometimes ss would say he was coming over and everything would be arranged and then he wouldnt show. This happened a number of occassions in the past.

So dh just stopped. Stopped texting, calling, inviting him over. SS did call the week before t-giving, and xmas. Dh was pleasant, friendly, cordial. They were brief calls.

So today this text comes through. It's like 3-4 texts-it starts by saying that he hopes dh doesnt forget about him and then goes into all this stuff about school. How his goal this semester is to get a's and b's, not get into any trouble, how he hopes that dh will be able to see his report card, etc.

So dh shows it to me and said why do you think he sent all this stuff about school? I told dh that the kids got their report cards last night and ss's gpa is .5. He earned 3 credits for the semester and got a 0.5 gpa. He also got about 15 detentions and 4 suspensions. My guess is that someone at school told him he was about at the end of his line. The failed classes will be difficult to make up. Any further disciplinary actions can result in expulsion. So I think that's why all that school stuff is on his mind-but we cant figure out why he is texting it all to dh? Like its completely random to someone you've barely talked to in the last 6 months? we did not get a copy of ss's report card, but I can see it online as it is tied to my kids account from when he lived here.

I guess I am just worried. In the past, when ss makes contact, dh gets all excited, starts talking about buying him things, visiting with him, moving him back in, etc. It goes from 0 contact to let's have him live here-at least that's what happened last February. In the months that he has been gone, I've come to the conclusion that ss can not ever live in my home again, I dont even want him to step foot in my home or be around my children. I've not issued any sort of ultimatums to dh (no need as ss has had no interest in visiting)and I dont wish to, but him being in my kids life is just not emotionally, and perhaps not physically, safe for them. And I must think of their needs.

Just looking for some support here. I am sure that there are those think dh should do whatever is necessary to maintain a relationship with his son-and frankly I'm not interested in all that-I am asking for advice for me and MY kids and how to help me do what is right for THEM.