STFU about the list ! OMFG
I'm sorry but I just want to scream this ! Every freaking year, every holiday BM has to find a way to bug and or start drama ! That is about the only thing she is consistent on. This year since I guess SD is not getting anywhere on her texting DH wanting to be picked up tomorrow, enter BM. She started sending DH SD15 Christmas list unprovoked. SD had already sent DH her list weeks ago. Normally I have finally gotten to the point where I am not affected by BM or SD but DH is constantly complaining and I ask him what is going on? And he is like it's this damn list ! BM sent it to me and said to let her know what I get from the list . Then BM sent it again today and said "she updated her list, did dhe share it with you?" And DH told her , yes she has shared it with me and BM keeps asking him what he is getting from it so she can cross it off and something about another list ! I'm like don't effing worry BM , SD is getting a damn gift ! I don't know why DH entertains BMs BS sometimes . It's annoy me . I said I don't wanna hear anything about this list ! Every year it's the samThing with this list ! Then she will ask " what is your family
getting from the list ?" Like who cares! Be glad she is getting anything ! Oh lord! At what age do they stop with this list crap ! I don't even do this with my ex! If BS13 sends it to his dad then ok, at the most we many say if and what we are getting from the list so we don't double buy but it's never like a week long event of talking about this list
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What I would do about the
What I would do about the list. Don't engage. Reply once "Recieved the list. Thanks." When bio mom text back all frantic, don't reply anything
"Did you get the list?"
Reply, "yes thanks."
"well?? Omg. Reply. Did you get anything. What are you getting off it
**crickets***(no reply)
" i really need to know, you need to answer
**crickets **
"I don't know what you bought. I need to know....SD needs all this..
**crickets **
----
If necessary, possibly reply," I'm doing my own thing. Thanks though.
(nothing further)
Right ! lol so easy . I
Right ! lol so easy . I wouldn't even reply after it was made clear that SD was already sharing the list . That would have been the q to "shove off about the list " BM has no shame
To BM: Text me the list
To BM: Text me the list again and she gets NOTHING. Your move.
I'm so over greedy BMs and skids.
Me too! I wish she would put
Me too! I wish she would put in this same effort to actually supporting a relationship for SD and DH. SD has been over maybe 3 times this year and it's shove the Christmas list in the face! I'm sure she will keep it up until Christmas
She can't really ignore him
She can't really ignore him for months and then expect tonnes of presents
Oh she does . This is the BM
Oh she does . This is the BM we have to deal with . And when SD does come it's like we must roll out the red carpets
You are giving me flashbacks
(((Shudder)))
Two Lists
We are list folks. I like having suggestions. Not orders. We told the kids, if you don't want duplicates make two lists. You know what kind of stuff we'd love to buy you vs other parent. Split your list. No, I'm not telling anyone what I got you. And make sure there's variety of price and theme on that list (if your DH hates makeup and lingerie she better have other options on the list!). She's old enough to communicate her Christmas hopes personally. BM can butt out.
Yes I am the same, any list
Yes I am the same, any list my kiddos make are suggestions. SDs are like a demand and you must get what is on the list . If I send the list to family I always say " here' are some ideas but of course anything else is great!" What BM is saying is here is the list you need to get from this list and I need to know what it is which is not ok with me . I think there does need to be 2 list if she is gonna be this way. One for dad and one for mom. DH just gives SD money so really the list is not needed for him.
He should tell her to piss
He should tell her to piss off, lol. Thanks for the list but I'm not doing anything from it. You do your own thing, I'm doing mine.
Right ! I'm gonna make that
Right ! I'm gonna make that suggestion to DH , he knows damn well he is gonna give her money . I can't see DH ordering Skims, picking out make up and things like that. It's just too much hand holding for me
My kids also learned long ago
My kids also learned long ago not to duplicate lists or "asks." It really makes the most sense.
Email has deleted button
Deleted the list. If SK can't tell you. Like first show up. They don't get it Then you will think about it.
SD needs to make a list for
SD needs to make a list for mom and a seperate one for Dad. That would solve the issue IMHO.
I agree. Sharing a list with
I agree. Sharing a list with an ex spouse is absolutely not something I would entertain. It will cause issues without a doubt. I have learned my lesson there. I won't even share an expense like a laptop with my ex. There is always drama or problems.
It sounds like the BM and SD
It sounds like the BM and SD in the OP's situation want drama, though. Best thing to do is not participate. Or just ask SD directly what she wants for Christmas. She's 15 ffs. Old enough to not have her mom involved in what her dad gets her.
Yup a lot of things will be
Yup a lot of things will be changing next year with the holidays and these lists is one of them. Yet again BM texted DH today to let him know she already got the Skims and Birkenstocks . Lmao of course she did. I would expect nothing less of BM , she is the one that got her into that Bs. If I were DH I would text back " I wasn't gonna buy her that crap anyways" lol
"Entertain" is the word. Like
"Entertain" is the word. Like Yesterdays said, he needs to stop replying. Or, yes, ask him to stop complaining to you about it. Ick.
Use the list to light the Yule log.
I am not a list person. I don't give a crap about what someone wants or needs. I am about gifting what I want them to have. It is a constant thing for me. When I find the gift that connects with me for that person. I know it.
For damned sure what a third party wants me to get for someone else means less than nothing to me. Regardless of who that 3rd party might be.
DH should do his own thing and go RADIO silent with BM.
That will drive her Nuckin Futz which is a nice gift you and DH can give to yourselves.