I handled it by canceling our Netflix. Of course we were getting charged extra because so many people were using it after LI gave them our password (including the Skunk Ape). Maybe tell her you canceled it? 

The password is "askyourmomforNetflix"

Dont do a dang thing for any of them ever again.

Did I read this correct? You did NOT give her the password? Please let me be correct. Her text as you said was just what she wanted. Hell the skid didnt even think to be nice in asking this did she? Entitled lil B aint she?!

She aint your kid , she aint your problemo. Hell I wouldnt give your DH the password either.

'No.' is a complete sentence.

In real life, when you are a grifter and take advantage of people, they cut you off. It's an important lesson to learn.

And yes, the privacy concerns are real.

You can sidestep it and respond with "Doesn't your Mom have a Netflix account for her house? If not, she can get a free trial."

Long game, yes, but it will irritate you everytime you see her log in to YOUR account.

Listen carefully... STOP CARING what anyone thinks. You pay Netflix for your benefit. It isn't a given that anyone else uses it,much less someone who isn't under your roof. She can watch Netflix when she visits, especially as she can't be trusted to keep the password to herself.

FWIW, where I live, Netflix has started clamping down on password sharing. You can only share with people under your roof (obviously cells can't be controlled) and I can assure you that the first time you try to watch something but can't because someone else is already watching and you are told to create another ID and pay for it...  you will lose all qualms about changing your password.

Why feel guilty?  If you and DH divorced would you still allow him access to the account or would expect him to get his own account?  Also for future, kids never get the passwords, they are kids.   My BD17 doesn’t know the passwords, I log the stuff in for her and if she gets logged out she has to come see me.  My BS23 has his own accounts so I don’t worry about it.

Netflix is cracking down on sharing accounts.  Just tell her you got hit with that.  Blame it on Netflix.  

Its not petty. I had the same situation. I refuse to pay for Netflix for the BM, because she can pay for it herself with all that baby-daddy-money we give her. If the skids want to have a relationship with me they can, but not ONLY when they want money. That's called "setting boundaries." 

Just tell her you cancelled the account because you never watch it. End of discussion. Go ask your mom for handouts. I am fresh out.

I saw an article on some news site, i forget which, that Netflix is going to start cracking down on password sharing. 

Re-posting my reply to a comment above about resentment.

This is exactly where I let myself go...to resentment that turned to bitterness. And it was one hell of a fight to get myself back to a better CajunMom.

CLove, there are these things called boundaries.....implement them. Stop giving to people who use and abuse you.  My response would have been..."I'm not paying for extra people on my account anymore. You will need to get your own account." There is no need to "keep the peace" in this particular stance. Inflation is crazy and everyone I know is cutting back. 

I'd send out a "follow up" text that this is the last month you are paying extra (and whether you are or not is none of your SD's business). Gives your SD TEN damn days to get her own account. On May 1st, change the password and do not share again. 

Follow up in a few days with an update. "Just got an email from NetFlix with updated info on account sharing. I'm downgrading my account which means only our home can use our account. Your access ends midnight April 30th."

And be done with that. I mean, really, what is she going to do? Throw a temper tantrum? LOL

And please, CLove....begin some self-talk and get rid of caring about what they think about you. I'm so accustomed to being the Evil StepMom, I might just order myself a shirt saying that. LOL

Check your account and if you see a new device login, remove it, and change your password again.

When the call comes -- somehow my account keeps getting hacked, when you visit I'll put in the password for you. -- When she leaves, check the account, and if you see a new device, repeat.

There are lots of fun ways to mess with NF account if you want to be a bitch, which I often do. More than once I have had to log out all devices cause my kids and grand kids are hogging it. But in doing that I saw some other fun features. You can logout one device as often as you like, really more irritating than changing PW. They have to keep logging back in. You can disable downloading on specific devices, not only does that prevent them from downloading, it makes them unable to access stuff they already downloaded. You can see everything they have been watching, that is an eye opener! Just some stuff to play with if you are bored at work.

If she complains you can say, guess they are working on changing the account

Good lord just cut her off.

When OSD was at BMs we expected her to use BMs account/s. After she stormed out of here and a couple of month later it was clear she wasn't returning, she logged into our (my) Netflix account to watch something. Next day I changed the password. I felt no guilt. It's not YOUR responsibility to make sure she has access to media (entertainment) at BMs. So quit it.

Again, you have no responsibility to make sure she has access to media (entertainment) at BMs.

You do realise that you are considered "evil" no matter what?

Whether you keep your pw or not, you arent welcome and the children wont like you. The children want their mother and father....anything coming from you is supposed to be serving them and they dont care about your feelings and always see you as "anti"

A quick example, yesterday, my husbands ex wifes son from another man who comes to our home regularly (because my husband thinks he is his dad) asked for a charger. I said i didnt have one (i did but i didnt want to give it because the steps have taken all my chargers) and if you need one, ask your brothers where they put the other ones. Immediately, he asked my husband "what does she mean by that???"....he was ready to fight of course....my husband responded "she is saying that it would be where your brothers left it last"....his response "mmmhhmm"

SS21 and his brother (from another man) showed up at 1am and called me to open the door. I opened and i got no "hello" or "sorry for being late".....they just passed by me and went to the room. I texted later on that moving forward, you are welcome but not at such late hours. I got no response and my husband yelled at me saying "they already dont consider you as a parent so why would you text them that". My response "idc i didnt say anything wrong"

They didnt even respond and now its awkward because they have this ugly attitude around me

I have my first day off in a long time since months and my husband is planning to leave them here with their ugly hateful attitude. So i will have to get away instead of relaxing in my home...

All of this to say that wtv you do, you will be the evil bitch so embrace it and conduct yourself the way you want to not the way they expect you to

Apologies if this has been covered in earlier comments.

If you were serious earlier this week about creating an exit plan, then you really need to maximise your savings so you have options as you exit.  That means that premium NF is a luxury that you should stop and put the difference into a savings account.  Tell your DH what ever you need to to explain why you can't afford it going forward.  There are lots of valid excuses with all of the cost of living increases.

In fact if you are serious about an exit then look at all your expenses and see where you can cut back.

Then only time we should  provide or do things for kids that aren't ours is if we feel like it and aren't feeling resentful or hurt. Otherwise it's not our duty or job or obligation. It's not going to make us liked or appreciated by anyone because it's never been our duty. And if some parents delegate those duties to someone else including a stepparent, it doesn't mean we must accept that duty. It's not ours. They have parents or legal guardians. 

NO is complete sentence. YOu don't need to justify your reasons.

When GWR noped out of here the first thing I did was log his @ss out of every streaming account we had.  I pay for them...and if I'm nothing to you ...then so be it.  You won't get to use my things....

GWR send DH a bunch of texts asking for the passwords, etc.  DH told him..my account my choice...

You are so deep in the toxicity hole that now you are going to play games with SD.  Not worth it.  Cut her off and be done with it.  Work on getting your head on straight so you can get out of this mess.  Don't get distracted with their nonsense.  

In your last post.... you indicated you were "done".. I see here you are saying a "long" time period.. and I'm curious if that means you still are hoping to do the "live together" thing? or whether you are just needing a little bit more time to get some financial ducks in a row.

Because.. the netflix thing? is pretty much a small issue and either you are ok with her using it.. or not.  If you are ok with it.. it would be difficult for her to not put it on the shared TV at her place with her mom.. and therefore her mom would have access.

So.. either you "let it go".. or you decide to only allow it to be on devices you personally own/have control of.. which means she does not have access on her own devices.  (I guess you could sign her in with a password on her tablet or phone.. but not give her the password?)

You could also tell her you changed passwords because there was a new device sign in.. and that you will change it every time you see that.. and if it keeps happening.. she will no longer have access to the plan. 

But.. imho..you need to be done and out of this family of dysfunction asap... so the netflix is the least of your issues.

PWs.

She can watch on your TV is she visits. Otherwise... she can access through TT.