Blow Up w/ DH

DH took this week off to spend time with SS and DD. I did not take time off (I work 100% remote), but I have today off for New Years. DH informed me on WEDNESDAY that he works a half day today, from the office an hour away not remote. It is kind of a big item to fail to communicate, especially when no plans were made for SS.

After SS' toxic phone call with BM last night, I told DH that I was not comfortable being home alone with him. DH's response was "I told SS he needs to be on his best behavior and he is pretty self sufficient - he can get his own breakfast and stuff."

Wow. That's not the point! I blew up on DH for failing to communicate his work schedule, waiting until the last minute, and then dumping SS on me to deal with. I told him to call in or to work remote today, and his response was that "There will only be two or three other people at work and they don't deserve to deal with the mess that will be today all alone." But I get to deal with SS without being consulted.

This morning DH got up and got ready for work. On his way out he asked me "Do you work today?" OMG I lost my shit. I looked him dead in the face and said "Seriously?!" He then remembered that I didn't work. I said "well I guess it made no difference to you if I worked or not because regardless, you were sticking me with SS. Even if I was working, you would have expected me to figure it out, yet you cannot."

I told DH that I am sick of work constantly coming first. I'm sick of him being so concerned about what happens to his coworkers and if they can handle the day's job but to hell with me who is trying to manage the household, DD, and now SS - especially when DH can't get his head out of his ASS long enough to pay attention. I told DH that we have entered roommate status lately - there are no date nights, there is no romance, there is no effort. I told him that roommate status does not grant him these types of benefits and if he wants this type of support, he needs to step it up and regain spouse status. DH just looked dumbfounded.

I reminded DH that BM and SS are manipulative, especially given their conversation last night. I reminded DH that BM is the first to make allegations and has made a laundry list of allegations against just about everyone we know, so leaving me alone with SS puts me and therefore DD at risk. I told DH that I am sick of him believing that BM has any redeeming qualities when she has proven over and over that she does not and that he continues to believe, after all her crap, that we are safe from her. I told DH that today is the last day I will do this and that if he doesnt plan better going forward, I will leave with DD the next time SS visits if DH expects me to be the babysitter due to his own poor planning.

I told DH that I will no longer be last priority in this marriage behind work, DH's own interests, and SS. DH now has his tail between his legs and has been texting me from work, which I have ignored.

CastleJJ's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Yeah umm

Isn't this the same skid who conspired with BM to get you guys in hot water with CPS? DH has his rose colored glasses on.

Isnt this HIS visitation time? Love it when dads Are so hesitant to drop the rope yet when their kids show up, they are off and away leaving SM to do the parenting.

No, we believe that BM made

No, we believe that BM made up those allegations all on her own because when SS was confronted, it was clear that SS knew absolutely nothing and when DH wanted to sit down, the 4 adults and SS to discuss, BM refused. I think SS told BM generic information about his visit and BM twisted that information to make allegations. The reason I believe this is because the judge told BM that she couldn't interfere with our visits unless there was abuse and then a few weeks later, there are abuse allegations. I think that one was all BM but I do believe SS is capable of lying and manipulating, which then helps BM make said allegations.

DH already gets minimal visitation as is. We get 6 weeks per year total. He took the whole week off except for today, so he isn't always leaving me to parent SS. I was mad because he did it today, so soon after last night's events. When SS gets in these toxic moods, they are hard to shake. Sometimes he is great if BM's influence before visits is minimal and sometimes he is a little shit if BM loads him up on PAS before his visits. We never know which SS we are going to get. SS was great up until his call with BM last night.

I wouldn't be so sure

That SS wasn't involved since he seems adept at making up gossip at the ripe old age of 10. In my case OSS and SD, at the time aged 7 and 9, literally lied to CPS to "make mommy happy." And they also admitted that "mommy wanted them (CPS) to think you were monsters."