Will question
Hi,
Happy Christmas all!
Looking for advice on whether my position on my will is morally right or not. I'll summarise the situation in list form to try to make it clearer.
Married a couple of years ago, only two years after meeting: steps around 22 at the time, now 25/26
Don't get on particularly well with either of them. One we hardly ever see & owes money, other lives with us and is argumentative/entitled/rude.
I have no children of my own.
I have a couple of houses which I bought before my present relationship and are in my name.
MY VIEW ON MY WILL
I want to leave the two houses (50% mortgaged) to my family
I don't want my half of our house to go to her children because I don't think they deserve it.
DW view is that with quite a bit going to my family from the houses I own, her children should split our house.
Am I being unfair?
Just to clarify…
JUST TO CLARIFY
My intention is to leave my half of the house in trust, so it passes to DW on the event of my death but then goes away from her children when anything happens to her.
DW VIEWS
DW doesn't like this because she said she feels like she would be living in somebody elses house
Dw feels I'm trying to bias the will towards my family. This is not actually my intention - in my mind this is about who DOESN'T get it more than who does.
Nope. Not unfair at all.
Nope. Not unfair at all. Make it clear that her failed attempts at parenting will get only her share of your joint home.
Do not listen to or tolerate her guilt trip attempts. Your Trust idea is a good one IMHO. And continues the message that her failed parenting attempts will not benefit from your estate. There is nothing wrong with coaching beyond the grave.
Our Will does the same thing. It puts our estate in trust pending our son reaching certain required milestones.
check your title
Marriage does not mean the spouse's children become your heirs.
Property owned before marriage, leave to your family. No problem legally in most places.
Property bought after marriage with spouse, check how it was titled when you bought it. There are several ways to title property and each has different legal rules. Married people often title property as joint tenants by the entirety. If your property is titled that way, it automatically goes to the surviving spouse. To do what you suggest would mean that it would have to be retitled or your spouse would have to list what you want to do in her will. Or perhaps a trust.
Our property, bought after our marriage, is titled by the entirety, but in our wills upon the death of the surviving spouse the proceeds from the sale of the property are divided equally between my children and his.
"Property bought after marriage with spouse, check how it ...
"Property bought after marriage with spouse, check how it was titled when you bought it. "
That is true. If it is titled to pass to her she will get it 100% and then she can leave it to whomever she wants to. You would need to re-deed it and be joint tenants or joint tenants in common without right of survivorship.
You're not wrong. You owe her
You're not wrong. You owe her adult kids nothing. Don't be guilted into giving assets away to people who are basically acquaintances to you.
I would consider the fact
I would consider the fact that if half of the house is going to your family and the other half is going to your wife's kids this will set up a legal battle between your family and her kids after she dies. They are going to have to agree among themselves to either buy each other out or sell the house. How do you think this is going to go?
I would be willing to give up stake in the house after you're dead and just letting her kids have it in order to not burden your family with this hassle.
Ultimately the choices yours though because these are your assets to do with how you please.
I don't think this would be
I don't think this would be an issue provided the house is titled "tenants in common" and my half is left in trust. In England (don't know about anywhere else) the law of intestacy gives no rights to step children inheriting whatsoever, so my portion of the house (held by DW) passes to whoever my Will left it to - i.e. my DW in trust to my family. I don't think SC would have a leg to stand on. The only time I would have a problem legally is if the house is titled joint tenants and my DW left my portion back to my family in her Will. Her SC could probably then dispute it.
You won't have a problem.
You will be gone.
Howeve, your prudence in locking up your assets in the manner you wish them to be distributed is wise.
You're not wrong
And you should tell your wife that she has half the title on the house so she is not living in someone else's house. Her rude 25 year old adult SK still living there DEFINITELY IS living in someone else's house so maybe she should focus on fixing that situation?
Otherwise she can leave her half to her kids. You should do what you wish with your half.
So, if she dies first then
So, if she dies first then She's perfectly okay with the joint house going to your family? This is exactly what she wants to do in opposite.
You aren't wrong, however,
You aren't wrong, however, the way I would do things is:
If you die and she is the survivor- she gets everything.
If you die together- Her kids get 1/2 of marital property, your family gets the rest.
If she dies before you- You get everything.
You're not wrong at all.
You're not wrong at all.
I came into my marriage with assets and DH came with debt. I also inherited substantially from my parents.
My assets and my inheritance will pass to my kids. His one small asset will pass to his. If I pass before he does then he gets the house and a bit of cash and he can do what he wants with that. Knowing him he'll blow the cash. But I don't need to manage that from the grave.
Mostly similar
I came into the relationship with a home and significants savings, investments and retirement accounts. SO didn't have debt but was still recovering from divorce (and the bankruptcy he had to file due to Darth Vader's ridiculous spending). We took our time combining finances (just a joint checking account for the first few years, then a joint savings, and a joint credit card last year) and both recently created/updated our living trusts.
The house stays in my name and if I die first he has the right to live in it for the rest of his life, but after his death it is sold and distributed to my sister, niece and nephew (Bratty will be upset ha ha). He gets 50% of my remaining other assets to do with as he pleases, including will any remainder to his children. The other 50% of my assets go to my family.
Similarly his trust is set up to give me 50% of his assets if he dies first (and he does have significant retirement accounts now), and the remaining 50% are divided up amongst his 3 kids. (Bratty will again be upset as she'll think she deserves more than her siblings ha ha).
I have to admit I kinda get a sick thrill out of the fact that Bratty will be pissed off in any scenario...