Overly defensive of his precious poopsies, unable to correct them and have them act correctly in a situation.  Gaslighting you to escape taking ownership of his piss poor parenting...yeah you have a Disney Dad.  No you are not in the wrong. 

Your DH is an inconsiderate jerk.You and your family are grieving and he brings his unruly kids around, then gets defensive when he gets called out on it?? WTF?? Advice.only2 is correct, he was gaslighting you. Smh. 

Told him it isn't my house , but my parents house. And told him that it is what it is, and he took off with them all angry. Insight???

Let him stay angry if he wants to be. I wouldn't give two flying f--cks about how he feels about the situation. When he realized his kids were loud and unruly, he should have told you he was going to leave to straighten them out, then come back alone later to be supportive of you. Better yet, he already knows how loud and unruly his kids are, therefore, he should have never brought them to your parent's house. 

Are you sure this is the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with? He sounds immature and self-centered. He is definitely showing you who he is during this rough time. I doubt that he will change.

If he doesn't change then YOU have to in order to make him respect you. If he really got upset because you didn't make his kids cereal while you were feeding your baby, I would have told him it's his responsibility to feed his kids, not mine. Anything you do for his kids, do it ONLY if you want to.  

I don't know where the hell people get their unreasonable expectations. What I do know is that when people put unreasonable expectations on me or try to burden me with their self-made problems, I ultimately dismiss them from my life. Disrespect gets a person dismissed.

Perfect chance for your DH to teach his kids some empathy and how to behave in other people's homes, and he blew it. Instead he taught them that it's fine to act like wild animals, and if anyone corrects you, you should just leave and pout.

DH rather fight with you then parent his kids.  You are not wrong.   You are right. Kids must be taught. How to behave when someone pass a way.  Not it's gym time.  
They are to show respect to the grieving adults.  
You married a winner.  

You were right to ask DH to calm the children. Children surely would understand if they were sat down and it was explained why their behaviour was inappropriate. 

I'm so sorry for your loss. No you're not in the wrong. Your husband should be lessening your burdens at this time not adding to them. Why on earth anyone would bring small children to a grieving family's home is beyond me. I'm fairly certain it is common sense not to do so. You need his support. How can he give it if he's watching his children? 

Almost three years ago when my Grandmother died my ex boyfriend acted in a similar manner to your husband. He had two of his children about half the time and on one of the days of the wake/funeral he had the children. He told me he thought it would be a good idea to bring his nearly 5 year old daughter to the wake because it would be a good learning experience and that it's a part of life......I said no absolutely not. I couldn't believe someone would  make the death of someone I grew up next door to for most of my life about teaching his daughter. Anyway, he came for one of the time slots. My ex has a huge family. He certainly could have found people to help. The reason why I'm telling you this is because usually situations like this show a person's character. My ex created drama and arguments almost every time I needed him in a crisis. I would take note of how your husband is treating you.

I am so sorry to read your parent passed away.

Your dh is hurting too in his own way and I would guess he feels helpless, not knowing how he can fix or comfort during this very sad time.  His words 'unwelcome' was a lousy group of words that he should have not said. BUT he did....I would give that a pass.

His kids on the other hand should know indoor behavior and outdoor behavior. His departure is not because you didn't want him or his kids there it was his lack of teaching them how to act in different settings.--Something I do believe is often overlooked by todays parents. Not all places we go are places for kids. ----He should have brought food, hugs and kisses. Then left.

Again I am so sorry (((HUGS))) I do understand your pain of loosing a parent all too well.

My condolences to you and your family. You are definitely not in the wrong. What's wrong is a parent being okay raising children without basic manners or social skills and expecting everyone else to just accept it. 

How rude he is for coming into someone else's home and showing zero respect for them. Would he be okay with me coming to his home, and allowing my children to run feral through the house, making noise and doing as they pleased?