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Miss disengaging, SD13 acting out

Chi123's picture

Submitted by Chi123 on Sat, 04/01/2023 - 1:43am

Wow, been a long time since posted almost 2 years. I disengaged completely from skids since Aug 2021 and honestly it was very refreshing! No more useless drama,  having to deal with the oldest tantrums, or just simply having to cancel all my plans to be home while they visited. Now however, I decided to try again and slowly get back into just being friends with them. Well the eldest SD13 now is constantly giving DH problems , which in return just refueled the annoying feeling I would get. For starters, I've noticed when she calls DH over phone she is kind and nice to him while BM isn't around her. When she is in the car with BM and DH calls SD over the phone,  she is so rude to him and I really just know she does it to try to impress and look good to BM. Another thing , she is constantly listening to everything DH and I talk about like a spy. And she also tries to control what the other 2 can or can't say while visiting, she glares at them before they answer simple questions DH asks them (which is way better when it's just the 2 littles). On the other hand I feel sad for her because she is now being ridiculed by her peers at school for having a religious background and having seen a post of her singing in church from years ago. Of course BM blames DH for having allowed the recording, but she too is at fault for even allowing the child to have social media and posting her on her page as well. It's all so much drama and I really just think I'll have to disengage from the eldest. Sorry I have just really been wanting to rant lol

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Sat, 04/01/2023 - 10:43am

High drama SD, ding ding ding.  Our high drama SD61 was the oldest, too.  The 2 younger brothers weren't bad but she was a pill.  I know what you mean about the spying, too.  BM actually said one time, " I usually know what's going on over there".  Sigh.....

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 04/01/2023 - 4:35pm

"I love you kid.  Call me back when your mother isn't around and you can be pleasant."  CLICK!

Lather.... rinse..... repeat.

Nea

This bares BM's PASing ass, and calls the SKid out on their own stupid behavioral choice.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sat, 04/01/2023 - 12:34pm

SD is in a loyality bind, she is trying to do what BM wants her to do so she can keep BM happy, otherwise she will suffer the wrath of BM. She is doing it to survive. She keeps BM happy because she is more sure of DH's love and knows he will love her even if she is mean to him. You need to cut her some slack on this. It is not right to be rude to DH, but since she is nice to him on the phone when BM is not around, it shows why she is doing it.

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Sat, 04/01/2023 - 12:44pm

She may be in loyalty bind, and still too young to know whats up, but I feel she should STILL not be a rude chit.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Submitted by TheAccidentalSM on Mon, 04/03/2023 - 5:48am

Regarding the phone calls, your DH should make his excuses and end the call if she's being a brat.  Something like "is that the time?  must go" or "really sorry there's someone at the door,  call you later".

You could have some real fun with the spying.  Leave brouchures lying around for exotic holidays, expensive cars, jewellery, etc.  And then when BM kicks off, act surprised and say it was decoupage project or something equally banal.