Christmas Gifts and Steps
What do you all do for your steps Christmas gifts? Does spouse select and purchase gifts themselves? Do you contribute? Do you spend the same amount on steps as you do on your OUR children?
I am a SAHM so I don't contribute financially towards SD gifts, however I go to the store/shop online using SO money. I left her bday up to him and when it hit a week until the date, I caved and went to the store/ordered. He sucks at giving gifts to anyone and goes the day of.
This year, I've told him I'm done picking things for her because she doesn't use/like anything. I've had her make lists and she still doesn't use them. To me, it's become a waste of money to get her anything!
She doesn't wear the clothes/shoes we get her (name brand and cute). Doesn't want to ride her bike (still has training wheels at age 8!). Or her scooter. Doesn't play with barbies because she has no imagination to play without my niece here. Claims to want to do crafts but doesn't use the easel and all the sh*t I got to go with it. Her only interest is her d*mn iPad. We have a small house so we don't have the room to have things for the sake of having things. With COVID putting most businesses out of business, it's hard to justify gift cards for "experiences" instead of material items. So what do you get this child?!
We will soon have 2 children (1 baby/1 toddler) and I like to go crazy for Christmas. However, I plan thoughtful gifts. They get more than used. I feel it's fair to spend more on the 2 always here than on the EOWe SD who doesn't have any interests. Do you all do the same?
Just trying to get a sense of what others do in their own situation, which I realize everyone's is vastly different. As a SM your constantly wanting to make life fair for everyone.
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Like most women, I tend to be
Like most women, I tend to be more on-top of gift planning and timing than DH, so tend to pick the little and thoughtful gifts for the kids myself. For bigger gifts, DH and I discuss or pick them out together: he definitely has ideas in mind as well. Usually I label the big gifts as from "DH and Picardy" and the little ones I picked out as from "Picardy."
With the age gap between my SKs and my now-toddler, parity in gifts isn't really an issue. DD3 is happy with a few $10 toys, so it's silly to spend more on her now. By the time she is old enough to even notice the price/value of gifts, the SKs will be launched.
My situation is easy, with no resentment, though. We're not big spenders for gift events (maybe $150 per kid tops), we have a joint account, the kids are thankful and not entitled, and I know what they all like: they rarely ask for specific items that take work to find.
The one thing I want to change this year, though, is that the kids buy gifts for each other and the parents. My SKs are haphazard about getting gifts for others --not out of selfishness, really: DH and BM just never really taught them to, or did much to facilitate. But I was raised to give gifts to every family member, even if just a $2 find, and I'm going to raise DD3 to do the same. And I don't want her to be hurt by her older siblings not reciprocating.
Maybe it is a woman thing lol
Maybe it is a woman thing lol. We discuss big items as well but it's I who initiates. My children will be 1.5 y/o and 2 mo so no big crazy toys either, planned to get a double stroller and another highchair, which is more for me than them.
Even when your step is launched, they'll still spend holidays with you and DH I assume? Perhaps that's just an issue to resolve when the time comes.
I like your idea of kids giving gifts. I might start that, too with SD since mine can't pick their own and I'll just pick for them.
I just struggle with getting pointless presents. I like thoughtful gifts, even if small. But SD makes a list then never plays with items and my house can't take anymore junk taking up space to collect dust.
True, the SKs will be here on
True, the SKs will be here on or around holidays after launching, though probably not birthdays. Not sure why I thought that made a difference, lol. Either way, value of gifts would be appropriate to the recipient's age, and my DD would be old enough to understand that then.
Good point!
Good point!
I stopped
I used to get things for SSs and we also tried experiences, but I gave up a couple of years ago because one always complains that we don't get him enough or don't get him things off his list. Two years ago, he yelled at DH for not getting him anything off his list. DH reminded him that we got him a ski season pass for $500 and told him that if he wanted something off his list, he would not get the season pass. SS replied and said that wasn't fair and he should get both. Last year, we got him his own skis and he also complained. This year, maybe he will get a gift card somewhere, because I'm over spending hundreds of dollars and have him acting as though we gave him a piece of coal.
Omg that's infuriating! I
Omg that's infuriating! I wouldn't get the SSs anything if I was you either. I was thinking gift cards too because I'm out of ideas. But I'm also worried that we'll buy gift cards places only for them to go out of business due to covid.
I handle all of it in my
I handle all of it in my house. For the kids, I do ask DH if he has any ideas or if he is aware of what they want.
I'm the same way, I'd rather
I'm the same way, I'd rather handle it all as well because I love giving gifts but what do you do when the kid doesn't use any of the gifts or wear the clothes. Such a waste. The only interest she has is her iPad and I refuse to buy roblox bucks or any kind of gaming giftcards.
I used to get my two SDs Xmas
I used to get my two SDs Xmas gifts but not for a number of years now. DH buys them gifts and cards that are supposedly from "both of us". It's fair as I do all the buying for my bio kids and grandchildren.
I buy my children gifts. If
I buy my children gifts. If DH wants to buy his kids gifts he can.
I only buy my daughters
I started out buying both, but now not only have I disengaged, Ss10 is the hardest to buy for, and it's some kind of competition I want no part in (he was asked to take pics of what he had here last year by bm/bf)
I arrange the whole birthday and Xmas for our daughter as hubby can't to contribute, all our birthdays fall right before Xmas.
They request pictures? Wow
They request pictures? Wow that is beyond weird!
DH and I also set a budget
DH and I also set a budget for both kids. We pick the items together. For e.g if the budget is $150 for each kid. Then the same amount would be spent on each.
BUT the youngest (SS) is the ungrateful-whining-tantrum-throwing kind, so even if the budget is set we make sure that gifts are equal. Like if his sister has one big gift (that was within set budget) then we make sure he has a big gift as well. It's more stressful honestly. Each year what they like changes a bit more thus making it harder to shop for them, however, we adjust the budget arrodingly.
sad reality of a SM is yes we want things fair for everyone but very rarely are they fair for us.
I get SD one gift usually
I get SD one gift usually about $40 and just send it to the abyss. I try to be thoughtful but after I give it to her I just try to put it out of my mind because it's frustrating how she treats gifts from us. Even when it's stuff she asks for she treats it like it's somehow tainted because it came from us unless it's got some huge brand logo all over it.