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Not my job to facilitate relationships

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Sun, 12/27/2020 - 4:07am

My SD 8, She FaceTimed at 10 PM a couple days after OUR baby was born and we were home (baby was couple days old). We had a 14 mo and NB at the time. When I saw it, it was 5AM. I forgot she reached out and didn’t tell him for a couple days until I remembered about it. He is now upset because I didn’t respond and I took a couple days to tell him. He tried reaching out to her, sending her pics of the new baby, FaceTime attempts, call attempts, and she never responded to HIM. Now, 5 weeks later, he’s unloading some resentment about her reaching out and me not responding to it.

To what extent do you include Steps with OUR kids?!

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Tue, 11/17/2020 - 7:41am

I have 5 days until the due date of my 2nd child (both DD with my SO). I am so excited to meet her and see my 2 little girls grow up together! I keep picturing them being so close, my little twinsies, not Irish twins but pretty close (my first is almost 14mo). I hope they are best friends forever, sibling bond is so important to me. I realize this doesn’t always happen. I have 2 older sisters, we’re all close in age, and I’m extremely close to 1 and not so much the other. Whenever I picture my little family, it feels so perfect!

StepLife would be easier if 50/50 visits

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Wed, 11/11/2020 - 8:50am

Do any of you stepparents think step life would be easier/better/less drama if COV was 50/50? Or any steps who have that schedule think it got better after that was in place?

At this time, 50/50 wouldn't even be a possibility. Our house is too small (only 4x/mo when SD is here, is it too small). But sometimes I wonder if once we have a bigger house, we should pursue going that route or keep COV as is (EOWE).

The reasons I think it would make life with SD easier is because it would allow more time with us, thus a greater influence on her.

Dear Lord

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Sat, 10/31/2020 - 12:53pm

SD is already starting on the "I wonder how many presents I'll get this year for Christmas" comments *eyeroll*. Don't we know at 8 years old that is a rude thing to say? Oh, and with the limited interests you have, child, probably not very many...

So tired of spineless SO and BM who never follows through

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Wed, 10/28/2020 - 10:24am

SO had a big talk with BM about SD 8 useage of TikTok. She wasn't on private, allows anyone to follow her (people she doesn't know) and follows 1,000s of people herself. She has made 100s of videos within the last year of having one. Most are dancing to inappropriate songs and doing inappropriate movements as well. In one video, part of the dance was to imitate receiving oral sex by pretending to push someone's head down while sticking out your tongue in a provacative way. Honestly, it made my stomach hurt because that's gross to see an 8 year old doing that.

How long after new baby do you have Step over for visits?

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Mon, 10/19/2020 - 7:48pm

I would like some feedback from those who have been in the situation or what you would suggest doing. I want to be fair to SD and not exclude her but I also want to give myself and SO some grace to adjust. 

DD #2 is due the end of Nov. We have a DD who will be 14 mo at that time and is very active! We have SD8 EOWE. Her weekend would be less than a week after due date. 

Christmas Gifts and Steps

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Sun, 10/11/2020 - 4:44pm

What do you all do for your steps Christmas gifts? Does spouse select and purchase gifts themselves? Do you contribute? Do you spend the same amount on steps as you do on your OUR children?

I am a SAHM so I don't contribute financially towards SD gifts, however I go to the store/shop online using SO money. I left her bday up to him and when it hit a week until the date, I caved and went to the store/ordered. He sucks at giving gifts to anyone and goes the day of. 
 

Stepparents who have children/steps with bipolar

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Tue, 09/29/2020 - 5:47pm

I've noticed there's a few stepparents here who deal with bipolar disorder with their own children or stepchildren. Some of you have teens or adults who are struggling with it.
 

Curious, did you notice any symptoms when the kids were young? What were signs you noticed or didn't notice but later realized was a red flag? 

BM of SD has bipolar and I know it's genetic and can be passed down. I'm starting to notice some weird things with SD but she's only 8 and we don't have her a lot. 

BMs powertrip!

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Submitted by Stepmama2321 on Wed, 09/23/2020 - 12:43pm

My bf has been trying to step up in his parenting role to my SD lately. It's our daughters 1st birthday this weekend and although it is not his normal weekend to have SD (we're on an EOWe schedule), BM agreed to allow her over. My bf has Friday off of work, which is not his typical schedule. He asked to have SD Thursday evening when he got off of work through the weekend. He asked with plenty of time. The reason being is because obviously he wants more time with her as well as it was an opportunity to participate in seeing her and helping SD with her Zoom meetings.

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