OT - bringing extra guests to party
This is way OT but this is the only blog site I get on and would like other people's opinions.
We had a very small gathering for my daughters first birthday. My bf specifically invited just his mother/father and asked them not to bring his brothers gfs 2 kids. His brother is a near 40 yo man who has a gf with 2 kids that all live at his parents. Brother and gf are both (former) drug addicts. Her kids are super weird (I know that's mean to say but neither of us enjoy them). So he asked for her to not bring them along. Well his mother disregarded what he sayed and showed up to the small family function with these kids. It may not seem like a big deal but it was supposed to just be family, we didn't know they were coming so they didn't get treat bags like the other family member kids got, and it was just kind of awkward and rude in my opinion. His mother has always been an issue with just doing what she wants despite what my bf asks her. Big boundary issues with this lady. Well now I'm just kind of over inviting her to things. Like when our new baby is born, if we invite MIL and FIL over to meet baby, is she going to disregard his wishes then and bring some extra kids along? Am I overreacting?
- Stepmama2321's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Nope but use Covid as your
Nope but use Covid as your reason to keep children away from baby. Use Covid as your reason to keep all the weird ones away.
Nope, you are not
Nope, you are not overreacting. What was downright rude and disrespectful during normal times was dangerous during a pandemic. She would not be getting further invites from me.
So rude. You are not
So rude. You are not overreacting.
Not only did they bring uninvited guests, they brought people that they were specifically asked NOT to bring. I can't even wrap my head around that.
This is why my inlaws haven’t been invited to functions at our h
Home or for any of our kids birthay parties since 3 yrs ago. After having a adult niece come over whilst being contagious with bronchitis, then going to another family holiday with her dad both suffer Bronchitis and coughing over food, i said no effin way.
believe me a big friggin fight erupted in his family and hubby complained to me about not wanting family drama and i provoked it. I told hubby to eff off. I had recently had an emergency csection and had a newborn and a 1.5 yr old and taking care of them when sick whilst i was sick and couldn't breathe and needed to go to hospital for ventolin is no friggin joke.
those inlaw arseholes sure did try to turn this into about them and poor them and blah blah blah...
so any of my kids, mine or hubbies birthday i cook roast chicken and veggies or we go to a nice resta Or a mini getaway somewhere
If they can't respect your
If they can't respect your boundaries, they don't get invited over again. Make sure you tell them why they aren't invited to meet the new LO.
If they objected to your
If they objected to your request they could have discussed it with you and/or opted to stay away themselves too. Bringing people who were not invited and who you specifically asked them not to bring is very rude and shows they have no respect for you.
I would do as you say and no longer invite them to events where you also want to exclude your BIL and his family.
That's what I'll have to
That's what I'll have to start doing. Just because BIL lives with his parents doesn't mean he is included in the invitation. I live with my parents (an apartment on their property) doesn't mean that I tag along to all of their functions. That's so bizarre to me!
Thank you all for the
Thank you all for the reassurance it's not just my crazy, hormonal pregnant self. I'm not a member of any other group blogs so I like some unbiased opinions when I'm not sure if I'm just being petty.
I am not a fan of being mean to children or leaving them out but they make me very uncomfortable. The boy is in 6th grade and everytime I've changed my daughters diaper, he gives me the creeps by watching so I have to go to another room to do so or wait until he leaves the room. He is also way too attentative to her for a teenage boy in my opinion. The girl is in 3rd grade and is an obnoxious child! She poured expensive lotion all over new TP rolls in my parents guest bathroom and destroyed their playroom and left without picking anything up. She tried to make TikTok videos with my SD the entire beginning of the party until I realized what was going on because my niece (4th grade) came downstairs and I asked why she wasn't playing with the 2 girls. I told my bf to put his foot down and stop allowing SD to make TikTok videos at our home. (Ugh, you all know how much I despise TikTok!) If these children were FAMILY, I would have invited them. I have a nephew is beyond irritating but obviously I'd never not include him. But, these kids aren't related to any of us. MIL may consider them grandkids because she lives with them but to us, they are brother's gf's kids and nothing more.
I need a blog site to vent about MILs because this one is a witch! I am needing to grow a backbone and speak up because I cannot handle the boundary issues this woman crosses. I've tried having bf speak to her but I don't thinking he puts it as bluntly as I'd like. He sugarcoats, which allows her to interpret things to her wanting. I've tried simply not being around them so I don't have to deal with it but obviously there's some things you cannot just blatantly ignore or not invite them to. Anyone who is good at this or know any good blog sites, please help!
Girl, you need to trot over
Girl, you need to trot over to Reddit and type JUSTNOMIL into the search box. There's a huge supportive community of people with problematic, rude, vicious, even mentally ill MILs there.
Where does your SO stand on this? You may want to get some couples counseling, because HE is the one who should be drawing boundaries and issuing consequences to BOTH of his parents. You handle yours, he handles his. If he isn't strong enough to do that or too deep in the F.O.G. (fear, obligation, guilt), you're in for a bumpy marriage.
I will check that out! I
I will check that out! I sometimes get on babycenter community but I don't understand the layout very well. I've never done this sort of thing but God is it liberating to vent to complete strangers and get feedback and opinions all over the map!
He agrees with me but I'm not sure he TRULY addresses issues with his parents. If he did, we wouldn't continue having issues. I think he tries to please everyone. I just didn't picture this distant of a relationship with his family because I genuinely liked them until I got pregnant and a switch flipped.
You can gain great insight on
You can gain great insight on dysfunctional families just surfing there. One of the most common problems both here and there is weak spouses who often don't even recognize how bad things are because, well, it's what they grew up with so it's their normal.