You are here

So far so good and wedding plans are proceeding

Unsureofthis's picture

Submitted by Unsureofthis on Thu, 07/30/2020 - 6:38pm

OSD has started back at university this week and there has been no mention of her coming to stay with us since her request was rejected by DH 2 weeks ago. I have been waiting with bated breath for some sort of announcement that she will still come and stay, because "she needs her dad". 

I cannot describe how light and happy I have felt this whole week since the threat of princess OSD invading my space and my home has diminished. I didn't really know just how much that was weighing on my mind until it came and passed and I have been walking around feeling on top of the world and that the future is looking bright and sparkly for us again. Crazy the effect skids can have on ones mental state.

All 3 skids (SD20, SS17 and SD15) are coming around tonight for dinner. This is exactly how I have always wanted it; they visit, have dinner, and then scoot back to their home at BMs. I enjoy their company in small doses. It's SD20 with her little digs and nasty comments that I cannot handle, but in small doses - yeah bring it on. I know adoring DH keeps in touch with her regularly, so I am assuming had there been any more requests to come and stay for some leisurely time at our house it would have happened by now.

I promised myself that all wedding plans would be on hold until I knew that he consistently puts me first. I said to myself that if she is "allowed" by DH to come and stay with us this week I would need to find some sort of reason for postponing the wedding and come to grips with always coming second to SD20's wishes. But alas, given this has not eventuated, wedding plans are now in full swing. Wedding is in October so less than 10 weeks away....

 

 

Comments

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Thu, 07/30/2020 - 7:31pm

Yea... I was going to say, hopefully he doesn't change his mind after the wedding. 

Unsureofthis's picture

Submitted by Unsureofthis on Sat, 08/01/2020 - 7:09pm

So after I was lulled into a false sense of security thinking DH is on my side and we have this issue behind us, he pipes up this morning and says "oh and SD20 asked if she can come and stay on Wednesday. I said I would talk to you".

I'm fuming. We had a really pleasant dinner the other night with all kids getting on really well and everyone was happy, no digs, no nasty comments, nothing. We were excitedly talking about the wedding plans and I have made it known to everyone now that the wedding is on. Have they waited all this time to get me to feel safe so that I won't pull the pin? I feel deceived.

I stayed calm though and said "I don't mind the odd night here and there but I don't want to make it a regular thing". And then, because it IS a partnership after all; "What do you think?". He of course responded with saying that he wants all his kids to be able to come and stay whenever they want. My heart was racing, I actually felt deceived, cheated on, etc, etc.

I just feel like an idiot because there I was feeling all secure in the knowledge that he had said no to her and all along the manipulative girl has been planning this all along to soften me up and pounce just as I was feeling all joyful and content.

Now what?

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Thu, 07/30/2020 - 9:31pm

You're not giving it enough time.  Just because she didn't come yet doesn't mean you'll be consistently first with your SO.  I hope you're not sorely disappointed after you go through with the wedding.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 07/31/2020 - 12:21am

Can you not ask DH about how the land lies between him and SD20?  ie make it clear you are not happy for her to ever stay on a regular basis?  I did this before we moved to our new house in June - I just wanted clarification from DH that I was not happy for SD25 to stay with us under any circumstances - as both she and her sister have tried in the past.  We now have a lovely (and larger) house so I could see her trying to get her big feet under our table.