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I just dislike my step kids and I hate it when they are here!

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 5:44pm

Hey guys I'm new to this site, I've been a step parent for going on 9 years.. sd is 14 and ss is 11. Ss11 is incredibly clingy! Like 5 stage clinger. Will come into our room and just sit there and stare at us. It's freaking weird. Mind you he's a liar! Since he was about 5 he constantly lies about dumb stuff. Steals money all the time! I just caught him stealing money out of our son who's 5 piggy bank. Mind you they share a room so it's just extremely annoying.  My sd 13 tends to stay in her room for the most part. Every time they are here I realize how unhappy I am when they are here. We usually only have them every weekend but now since this whole covid thing we're forced to have them 1 week on 1 week off. I cannot wait till school starts up again so they can be back at their moms primarily! Am I the only one who feels like this? I cannot stand them and I laugh at the fact that at one point I wanted 50/50, years ago. Thank god that didn't happen!! 

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Mommajay's picture

Submitted by Mommajay on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 6:07pm

I'm dying over here. I haven't had a break from my stepson who I can't even stand to be near (11 years old) in months. We used to have him every other weekend. I used to think "thank god we don't have custody" and then bam one day we got full custody by emergency order. Now permanently. He also just stares at us when he walks in the room. I don't even respond to his staring anymore. I wait for him to say something. We have been working on social skills with him since he was a baby! 

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:19pm

Ugh I feel for you! That's my biggest fear that we'd ever get stuck with custody!!! I dread even at the thought. Hats off to you! 

THISAINTWORTHIT's picture

Submitted by THISAINTWORTHIT on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:52pm

Omg what is it with the akward behavior! My SS does the exact same thing!!! I catch him staring at me through cracked doors all the time and he also opens his door as silently as he possible can when he comes out of his room and sometimes i just look up from behind and he's standing behind me! Our couch faces the tv which all faces away from his room and i have even considered moving my living room furniture so he can't sneak up on me anymore. WEIRD SHIT

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 6:27pm

I'm not a big fan of my Skids. We have them EOWE and fortunately, they have not been around due to COVID-19. 

BM would love it if we would take them more than EOWE, but she gets child support every month because she is the custodial parent. Also, I'm not entertaining them or helping them with school work and I know that DH would lose patience and tune out quickly. We're also hoping that DH can go back to work soon and I'm surely not going to work from home while Skids are here. As everyone loves to point out, I'm not their mother, so I'm not going to take on mothering responsibilities now. 

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:25pm

I wish my husband would see it that way. How old are your step kids? Mine are old enough to where they don't really need help with home work & can watch themselves while we're at work. I almost don't want to be home when the skids are here I wouldn't be caught dead working from home with them here. 

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 9:40pm

They are 14, but they are total pains in the rear, so I have no interest in having them around. DH knows this and would like us to stay married, so he has not agreed to extending his time. 

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:25pm

I wish my husband would see it that way. How old are your step kids? Mine are old enough to where they don't really need help with home work & can watch themselves while we're at work. I almost don't want to be home when the skids are here I wouldn't be caught dead working from home with them here. 

Thefatherismyfamily's picture

Submitted by Thefatherismyfamily on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:51pm

I can't stand mine either. Thankfully I don't have to be on covid lockdown with them. I feel for you. I can't even stand to be around them for more than one hour. 

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Thu, 04/23/2020 - 2:26pm

I spend a lot of time in my room or outside when they are here and I've expressed to my husband how sometimes they are a little much and for the most part he understands but it's also his children so I try not to be to harsh with my words lol

Kee-khe's picture

Submitted by Kee-khe on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:55pm

I totally understand. SD hasn't been over in over a month because of Covid-19. Happiest time of my LIFE!

THISAINTWORTHIT's picture

Submitted by THISAINTWORTHIT on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 7:58pm

No matter how long you wait for it, things really never get easy. We got full custody of my SS when his mom died and i try to be the most relaxed, easy going, cool stepmom and still he behaves like a serial killer around me. I have questioned why my husband isn't bothered by it but honestly he doesn't seem to care. I wish i didn't care...

Kona_California's picture

Submitted by Kona_California on Tue, 04/21/2020 - 10:57pm

God that is so rough. This whole isolation thing is just making everything worse, especially with step situations. We also have 50/50 but SS is 6 so it's easier. I'm not sure how much you voice to your DH or your skids, but it helps me knowing I can parent how I want with SS. Times when I feel most resentful is when I feel powerless. But then I remember this kid is in my home, and my SO backs me up. I kind of.... tell him he's being annoying or weird but in a nicer way. But then I also have short parts of the day when I sit and share something with him that means a lot to me. "SS.... don't kiss objects when we're at the store. That's creepy and unsanitary" "OK SS we're going to watch something awesome that I love and you'll have to take it because I'm forcing us to bond" LOL when he ends up liking the things I liked as a kid it gives us something to bond over and we have our own inside jokes. (We'll both bust out singing the theme song for the 90s Pokemon show) Granted this one is 6... no idea what it's like to deal with an 11 year old. Maybe tell him it's time to bond now ok, and do a project together. You're forced to hang out together anyway so if you haven't given it a shot in a while you might as well. Then you'll feel more comfortable say "eeey, what are you staring at, silly pants??" with a smile.

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Wed, 04/22/2020 - 7:02am

I can imagine that it would be a nightbmare to be stuck in your home and feel so uncomfortable. 

Are you still working outside of the home? 

I think that I would take up some sort of outdoor hobby to keep myself occupied and my sanity intact. Gardening, bike riding, jogging- whatever!

What are you doing for YOU duing this time?

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Thu, 04/23/2020 - 2:28pm

Yes thankfully I am an essential worker and I work full time still at a laboratory! I wake up thankful daily for my job or else I couldn't imagine being home with them 24-7 for a week straight 

Samanthajones12's picture

Submitted by Samanthajones12 on Thu, 04/23/2020 - 2:31pm

Right now it's one week on and one week off! I cannot wait until they come just on weekends. When we go back to regular schedules, we pick them up Friday after school and they spend the night Friday, Saturday & go home Sunday! And even though I dislike not having some weekends to ourselves without them I need to be careful what I wish for because now I rather just have them weekends and not all week. It is nice to have some weekends off though.