So it’s been a poop storm of a marriage. I’ve dealt with my husband and his alcoholism, his son is an entitled jerk, and I have bent over backwards for his family, paid bills and bought food while his mother was living out her last years with cancer. I’ve carried his financial burden while I got his back fixed for 15 months, I have poured money into our chickens, into fixing up this house, which is his fathers, but no updates  since it was built in 1956. Since we got together, it’s been a ride through hell. He’s been mean to my kids, disrespectful to me and my children. They were never really made to feel welcome in a while lace that was to be their home. Over a year ago, he got angry at my daughter and told her to “get the f out” so since she was 19, she did. Then my 20 year old wanted to get out and away so she moved in May. I’ve had to literally fight tooth and nail for my kids and my rights in that household and I’m more than 70% providing for it. He always threw out the divorce card when we got into it, so I called him out on it. Since then he won’t use that as manipulative tactics. He threw me under the bus with his son time after time, ever catching his kid skipping class red handed, so I threw down my ultimatum, me or your son, I was not sharing my rank of wife with his kid. I made him choose. Because I was thoroughly prepared to leave. Same with his drinking and verbal abuse. He either stopped or I was out. These issues have fundamentally damaged our marriage. Also his father, I’m all wonderful until he starts running his mouth to my brother in law about stuff that isn’t my father or brother in laws business. And I caught him, well not really caught cuz he was loudly discussing it yesterday in his room, so loud we heard it in the living room.  I felt humiliated and disrespected because it was a complete bash about my daughter who doesn’t even live here. My kids aren’t perfect, but they all go to school and ride the bus without giving anybody any trouble, they do their work and make good grades. Even my two in college are on the presidents list and moving in a positive fashion. My stepson, ha got caught again with vaping stuff at school and has been expelled the third time since he was in the sixth grade. 

I am just over it. Over the disrespect and utter crap, and yes it all is their crap. I have a degree, currently in school to finish my bachelors. Then I plan on going for my FNP, I work my ass off cuz we are short staffed. So my level of putting up with other people’s crap is shot. My husband has been doing better, but doesn’t grasp that rebuilding trust is a process and takes time, then yesterday and my father in law, I want to leave. I have told him for the past couple of years that due to the nature of stuff there, I want a place that is ours, but he refuses. Says his dad couldn’t survive, but this is not my problem because he chose to not work or plan for his future, instead he bought motorcycles and boats and cars, so his inheritance is gone. He lives in his room with a full size refrigerator, fry daddy, tv, computer, two burner cook top, microwave and toaster over. Pays no money towards the household bills or will be paying taxes or insurance. He has stuff he could sell, but omg it would be the end of the world as he knows it. 

So, my choices are that I leave and move out, my husband never really agreed to go with me, and yes, after hearing my child bashed yesterday I  threw a fit. My husband has said in the past that he won’t leave, so I assumed that was his stance yesterday and now we aren’t speaking.  Yes, I confronted my father in law, but what all he did after his half assed apology is explain why he felt that nothing he does is wrong, same level of crap my husband pulls. 

Im just over it. I feel betrayed and disrespect by this whole family and my husband doesn’t get why I can’t just get over it and move past it. Why would a sane woman not continue to put up with disrespect, abuse and everything else!!!! So I’m trying to find a place. Think I’m gonna sell my chickens and see just how dedicated my husband is to this marriage. Suggestion???