Thanks,  My husband had been with him at home for over 2 weeks 24/7 until he went back to the hospital with pneumonia.  Then he was in the hospital for another 5 days.. where he pretty much had recovered from that.  But, when my brother went to see him sunday, he reiterated that he wanted to go home and let it be "the end" without any further medical intervention.  His doctor said that recovery was possible but would be a long road and a short rehab stay was what was needed to help him get back in shape to a point where a more complete recovery was possible.  Dad pushed back on that.  My husband said he was willing to help him when he was in a recovery mode but not if he was just going to "quit and watch him die".  In a way, I think my husband is most upset about his decision.  But, who knows perhaps his decision isn't really his final answer, just a way to manipulate everyone into letting him go home.

Thanks for those suggestions.  I honestly don't 100% know what to think or expect so I will try to find those publications.  My dad has asked for some Jello this AM.. so not sure if that is a sign he is going to change his mind..or just a passing request because jello makes his mouth less dry.  It really is difficult to ride the rollercoaster of seeking hope or accepting declines.  It's complicated because my dad is really not suffering from a particular acute illness at this point.  He had the flu and that is past.  He had Pneumonia and took all but a couple days of the antibiotics and based on his Oxygen levels when he left the hospital, his lungs seem to be working too.  Right now he is weak and wasted away from almost a month of being flat on his back and battling two serious illnesses.  He has been pushing food away for a month.  His blood pressure is in a normal range lying down but sitting up it drops sharply.  He has had no strength and hasn't worked with PT like they wanted.  So, has he allowed himself to get too down in condition to make a recovery possible?  I just don't know.  I do know that it doesn't seem logical for someone to be able to live indefinitely on a few hundred calories a day and laying in bed.  He is drinking some fluids but not 100% sure it's sufficient for his long term good.  My biggest fear for him is that he will do enough damage to his body by further wasting.... but will not just "die" because he is getting enough for his body to minimally get by and then perhaps want to get better... but can't and will end up needing nurshing home care.  full time 24/7 care at home is possible short term, but it does become a pretty big expense when it is a long term situation.. and in a different environment they could be helping him get stronger. 

Anyway, I guess I will have a chance to see him again tonight.  I know in the short term my work is going to be understanding but that will not last if things go beyond a couple of months.. then I won't be able to get away as easily. 

Thanks and i'm sorry you lost your mother that way.  It's hard to watch someone suffer.  I know I will be glad I spent more time with him now if it truly is his time to go.