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Birds and Bees?

sunny_skies's picture

Just a general wondering, as SS2 can barely speak in proper sentances yet, let alone ask questions like this, lol

whenever you explain to kids where they come from, in general it tends to start out with.. mummy and daddy loved eachother sooo much, that they made you, etc etc, barf barf barf.

In our case, my BF and BM had been married for a decade, things had been rough in the last few years, then they decided it would be a great idea to have a kid. yeh, bring a third person into an unhappy marriage, that'll sort it out *sigh* ..anyway they mutually split for good while BM was pregnant.

Sooo my question is, (when he is old enough!) how would YOU explain to my SS in this specific situation, my initial thought was, duh, let the kid know his parents loved eachother to make him..

BUT.. how to explain, that by the time he was a few months old, daddy loved SunnySkies.

What if SS is confused by the aspect of mom and dad don't love eachother anymore, so that means one day, dad and Sunny wont love eachother anymore.

I want SS to feel stable in the knowledge I'm here and I'm not going anywhere.

I know this is all silly to think about right now as SS is so young, but I was just thinking about it! (I do tend to overthink things!)

Comments

sunny_skies's picture

hmm, yeh I suppose its not necessary to say the "loved eachother" stuff in regards to birds and bees

..I suppose the thinking about birds and bees thing, brought about the whole "grown ups can fall out of love" thing.. I think that was mainly what I was wondering, in a round about way!

..and thinking about how it should be explained to SS.. do you think its necessary to tell SS that his mom and dad used to love eachother? I'm thinking maybe yes, but just wanted some opinions!

maybe... mom and dad used to love eachother, but they fell out of love with eachother when you were in moms tummy. Now dad loves Sunny, but dont worry, daddy isnt going to fall out of love with Sunny.

((I dont think that much detail is needed, but just trying to prepare myself for questions like "Jack at school says his mom and dad love eachother. do MY mom and dad love eachother?"))

oneoffour's picture

Mommy and Daddy decided to have a baby and made you! End of story. The rest is just frosting on the cake which is unneccessary unless it is cheesecake frosting...YUM!

RainbowsAndDaisies's picture

Take it as it comes. BM and DH were dating when ss was conceived and broke up when ss was a few months old. By the time he was three he was living with dh and I and bm was more or less absent. At three, he wanted to know why I wasnt his mommy. My response was that he was in bm's tummy. He wanted to know how he got there. I told him that daddies do a special daddy magic to put a baby in a mommy's tummy. At four, he had the same questions and I gave the same responses. At five, he wanted to know if I knew him when he was a baby, why I didnt know him when he was a baby, if I was at the hospital when he was born, and why dh and bm did not live together. That was tougher. I told him that no, I did not know him when he was a baby and it was because I didnt know daddy yet. I told him that I was not at the hospital when he was born because I didnt know him yet. I told him that dh and bm do not live together because sometimes mommies and daddies cant live together anymore. At five, that was enough to satisfy his curiosity. At six, seven, eight his questions have gotten more specific. Just reply honestly in an age appropriate way. He is trying to make sense of his world and his place in that world. He does not need to know any of the adult issues or anything past his age level. SS8 still to this day has a difficult time understanding the situation.