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Should I be Scared?

Frustr8d1's picture

Before I went to bed last night, I had the living room completely clean. No toys or anything on the floor. This morning, DH got SD9 up and ready before he left for work. SD left for school about 5 min after DH left for work so she was in the living room/kitchen by herself for a few. I was feeling sick so I didn't even get out of bed until an hour after SD left for school.

When I walked in the living room, right there on the floor in front of the couch, was my 2 yr old's magnetic drawing board. On the board, in very crappy handwriting, it says,

MOTHER
FOUCKER
MOTHER

I'm like, WOAH. WTF? Funny it was spelled wrong, but reaalllly? It feels a little creepy that a "little innocent 9 yr old girl" would place this hostile message for us to find first thing in the morning. I'm afraid of what she might do next. She already has a long history of lying, stealing, and hurting others.

Again, this is the kid who was more "herself" before her summer visit with BM (her first visit in 3 yrs) and now, this kid has been back with us for 3 weeks and is still unrecognizable. She changed dramatically and it's scary as hell to me. I do have some concern that she will hurt my 2 yr old.

DH is trying to get BM to get her own apartment (BM lives with her younger brother) so she can eventually have full custody for once. I'm tired of taking 100% of the responsibility for a kid who really is a trouble-maker.

Comments

Gabriels Mom's picture

I'd search her room and share with DH what I found. I'd also confront her with any craziness I found. Is she in counseling? I would get her evaluated asap.

oneoffour's picture

When my son was about the same age he wrote something similar. I didn't bat an eyelid and told him that obviously he has something important to say and he can write it out 100 times.

Honestly, it is for shock value and not being shocked certianly takes the wind out of their sails. So I would sit her down and get her to write the 'sentence' out 100 times. By the time she gets to #15 she will be bored to tears. And she has to keep on writing. Remove all 'luxury items' from her room until her behaviour improves.

Is it likely she heard it and wanted to say it but knows it is a bad thing to say so she wrote it out?

Not_what_I_wanted's picture

Sounds a bit off, for sure. I would talk to DH about it, then have a talk with her. She may have hidden anger/aggression issues to deal with. She's in therapy already, right? I think you mentioned that before. If not, she needs to talk to someone. My SD isnt this hateful outright, she is more passive about it, I find it in notes in her room or on her FB page (no longer has this). Ask her, flat out. She can lie or she can be truthful, then you'll know what your dealing with.

Myself's picture

I think that sending her to live with her mother, especially after being so horrible after ONLY a summer visit with BM, is not a good idea. I just think that when a kid starts acting up, giving her to a BM who will certainly do much more damage than good is a horrible decision. But it's your husband's choice in the end. I just disagree with it personally.