You pissed all over my house because you "didn't feel like it" ????
SD has been fully potty trained (day and night) for over a year now. Today during nap/quiet time I heard her crying up in her room. I opened the door and there was piss all over the floor. She was standing against the wall on one side of the room and there was a line of pee almost all the way to the other side. DH came upstairs and cleaned it up (there was no way I was about to clean up his kids piss) and I asked her why she didn't go to the bathroom. She started pretend crying/hyperventilating and said she needed to calm down first. I waited until she was calm and then asked her again, again she started "hyperventilating". This went on for about 5 minutes. I finally told her that she needed to stop (as she was calm seconds before I asked the question each time) and that she needed to tell me why she didn't go to the bathroom. Her answer? "I didn't feel like it" I asked her if it was okay to pee on the floor, she said no. I asked if it was good or bad, she said bad. I asked once more why she did it (hoping she would give me something better than "I didn't feel like it") This time she said "I didn't want to wake DD up". This would have been a perfectly acceptable answer to me if she hadn't in the past gone to the bathroom while her sister was sleeping. So I said, "but you have gone to the bathroom when DD was sleeping before. And daddy and I have told you that no matter what, you are always allowed to leave your room to go to the bathroom". To this she responded, "but I just didn't want to"
It took all of my strenght not to give her a smack! She pissed all over the floor of what will be the nursery (when baby is born in April) because she didn't feel like walking the 3 steps out of her door to the toilet. I am so glad that she is gone for (almost) 2 weeks!!!
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yikes. how old is she? it
yikes. how old is she? it sounds like you handled it pretty well, but if this happens again i might try to take her to a psychologist.
ss2 (almost 3) prefers his dad to take him to the bathroom, and tells me he doesn't have to go and then walks to a corner and pees on himself. I've gotten to the point that after he tells me no a couple times, I just take him to the bathroom and put him on the toilet anyway. regardless, the whole thing drives me nuts because then I have to clean him off and change his clothes.
do you think that your SD is upset about the baby coming and that this is somehow related?
She is 3 1/2. I wish I could
She is 3 1/2. I wish I could say it had something to do with having another baby on the way, but she was happy the first time and says she is happy about having a new baby again.
Personally I think she did it because she doesn't want to be at our house....ever. She usually cries when she leaves her mom and asks all weekend how much longer before she gets to go back home. She has told me in the past that she doesn't love me and daddy and that she only loves her mom and she never wants to come over to our house.
DH is at a point where he is ready to give up his visitation for her sake. She is usually so upset when she is with us that he is starting to think it would be better if she was with her mom all the time and had the consistency of one household.
Personally I would love it if she stopped coming over. I used to love having her around because she enjoyed her time with us and she was fun to be around, but now she is just phoney and miserable and pretends that she can't do things she has been doing by herself for over 6 months and it drives me bonkers.
I want what is best for her but I don't know what that is. I don't know if would be better to not see her dad (and me and her siblings), or if it would be better to continue to be forced to come here every other weekend when she doesn't want to. If he gives up his visitation will she think he doesn't love her? or will she decide that she misses us and actually want to come here? If he continues with the visitation will she just hate us more and more? or will she begin to understand that the rules and structer in our home are to help her become the best person she can be?
I just wish I could get inside her head long enough to understand what she is going through, and how she is feeling. Maybe then I would know the right things to say and do
I wouldn't sweat it. It
I wouldn't sweat it. It sounds like there is some serious PAS going on from BM's house. She is highly likely to hate both of you regardless of whether she comes over or not. All that will determine is what her stupid excuse for hating you is.
How old is she? I'm not
How old is she? I'm not saying that her behavior was okay, but my daughter, was a very strong willed child. She thought she had control over everything, even down to her body functions. There were times I would see her squirm (I called it the pee,pee dance)and ask her if she needed to go and she would tell me no. She eventually grew out of it.
It's good that Dh was there to help clean it up. I think eventually your sd will figure out that even when we don't "feel like it" our bodies tell us what will happen if we don't. I know it's frustrating but hang in there.
Happy New Year
Maybe it would be best for
Maybe it would be best for right now if she stayed with her mother and dad could take her to a park or something during the weekend for a few hours. Usually mom is their works at that age. It really isn't personal. It is probably separation anxiety.
Solution, 1. Rub palms
Solution,
1. Rub palms vigorously together to get them nice and warm.
2. Drop the Skid drawers to gain access to some nice soft blump kid butt.
3. Escort the kid to the pee puddle and repeat the question about why the pee is in the puddle and not in the toilet.
4. As soon as the answer is delivered proceed to deliver the warm palms vigorously to the kid butt cheeks until a nice red sligtly stinging glow ensues. (a few moderate swats not a butt whoopin, the kid is afterall only 3.5).
Once the crying stops explain that chosing not to use the toilet is not acceptable and each times it happens she will clean up her mess herself and get a spanking.
End of problem.... if not immediately then when she realizes that she will not win this battle.
Often we never know why a young kid choses to do things like pee or poop on the floor when they are fully toilet trained. It really does not matter why they chose to do these things. What matters is the lesson that comes with the consequences for those decisions.
All in my layman's opinion of course.
stepdown, I have a question.
stepdown,
I have a question. It is a true question for my own edification on this issue. Why is it that now it seems like every kid behavior has some behavioral health issue associated with it and seems to be primarily addressed with some therapeutic intervention with apparently rare and limited success and historically these issues were categorized under misbehavior and addressed quite effectively (at lease it seems that it was effective) discipline.
We did not have mass school killings, etc, etc, etc... when consequences and discipline were applied consistently to incorrigible behavior and now when everything is associated with some new behavioral health syndrome we have kids running amok or stoned out of their gourds on Rx meds?
I am curiouse about this and am interested in your thoughts. What seems to be the differences from an effectivity perspective in these two different schools of thought on dealing with kid behavior?
Thanks and best regards,