Normal behaviour
I have now been told countless times that SS is just testing me, it's just a faze. Any idea on how long this testing lasts? I feel like it's going to last forever after reading other posts on here. We have SS every second weekend. Last weekend was awful and I spent most of it in tears. But when his BM arrived to pick him up he cries as he doesn't want to leave. My partner tried to discuss with BM the way he's been treating me (SS is 3.5). All she says to BM is not to be mean to me and that's it. I personally feel like she's behind a lot of it. I can't believe a 3 year could possible think of the things he says.
A lady at work has said to maybe ignore him and let him come to me. Is this the right approach? Should I be doing something else? Am I just over sensitive?
My partner has said that he doesn't like to see me upset and hurting but he doesn't know what to do. That's when he talks to his friends and they say SS is just testing me. But they're all still friends with BM so I find it hard to even listen to his opinions.
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I'd think having his father
I'd think having his father immediately address his behavior would be best. He should scoop SS up and place him in his room (or some other place for a time out) and tell him that it's not OK to treat you like that. I'd think if he does that each and every time the child acts out towards you, he'll quickly learn that it's to his benefit to stop. Daddy visits aren't much fun when you have to spend all of it on time out.
How long does it last? Right
How long does it last? Right up til Dad starts testing the kid right back, preferably with some nice unpleasant punishment. Maybe a little bun warming would do the trick.
What is the best ways to
What is the best ways to raise my opinion with my partner? As never being around kids before, our opinions are quite different. My parents are very old school and that's how I was brought up. With respect for adults. I tell SS off if he's doing something wrong but as for discipline I haven't done much as I feel it isn't my place. When SS was lashing out with hitting and kicking and said that he does it to me as he can't do it to his mum, I put him in his room. My partner said he is fine with me doing this. But to way in with advice on how to discipline his boy or different ideas. How does this go with your partners?
I think he's seeing where the
I think he's seeing where the boundaries are. I responded differently with SD when she did that and it threw her for a loop! I refused to allow her to push my buttons and I used words like 'regardless' or 'it's not up for discussion...SD was 13 though...this is a three year old.
I'd talk to DH and let him know that YOU are really the only one who can establish YOUR boundaries. Ask him what he thinks would be a good way, time outs, stern talking to, you cannot smack kids these days! I think I would get DH on board and start going out and doing fun things with him and then stop them abruptly when he starts to behave badly...scoop him up and take him back to the vehicle! Each time he has to be removed from doing something fun he might get the picture?
Meal times are a good bonding time, after dinner games before bed time can be a treat that could be removed if behavior is bad. I dunno...just a couple of ideas? Bribery and corruption work every time too! LOL Call it 'incentive'.