Lost and confused.
I'm hoping that this site will help me to understand.
My boyfriend has a 3 1/2 year old son. He spends every second weekend with us and his father usually visits him during the week also. It's been say 7 months now since the first time I met the son. Things were a lot better at the beginning then now. The things that he says to me, I can't imagine a child thinking of. Such as "I hit you because I can't hit my mum", I get 'I don't want you here", "I don't want you near me". The past few times he has stayed with us, he ignores me unless he's hitting me. He wants his dad to do everything for him. Recently moved in and it's "I don't want you living in this house". Refused to eat tea as I had made it and not his dad. Sometimes he flinches when I ask him a question or if I'm near him. He is always crying.
His mum has had another baby so I'm not sure if it's a cry for attention.
People have also said that he is testing me, but it's been months!!!
I'm exhausted and don't know what to do. It's starting to impact on our relationship and I'm just lost.
Please, any advice.
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Comments
Oh wow, yes tough age for
Oh wow, yes tough age for sure. I was lucky to be in SD's life early since she was 18months (now 4). Bring on new baby is a hard time as well, our BS is 9months.
First step is getting dad on the same page, if you and him are not a team you may as well walk now, things wont improve. Dad must encourage and demand his son to do things himself. 3.5 is plenty old to put on clothes, eat and get on the potty etc by himself.
My SD began to wet herself when BS was born, although we made sure she was getting plenty of attention, not only from 'us' but just Daddy as well, she saw how we tended BS every need so she too acted like a baby.
This age is all about limits and what can I get away with. Although dad may parent completely different that his mom, they will learn that different homes have different rules. 7 months at every 2nd weekend doesnt equal a whole lot of time. Although my FDH and i dated for about 6 months before I met SD, and we moved in together a few months later, (which would equal 2yrs+ living together), SD still acts like how we do things is new and is constantly testing us.
Good luck, I know exactly how draining this age is!
SS is much better at going to
SS is much better at going to the toilet etc. Doesn't dress himself and lately he wants to be fed. Is very very picky about food. Hardly eats.
Different rules in each household. He wants his dummy all the time and we would love to see it gone by Christmas. At his mother's he is allowed it all the time, here only when going to bed. Cries if he doesn't get it during the day.
My partner is great and is on my side. Watching SS he seems so torn.
Draining yes, I'm exhausted!!!
What does your bf do when his
What does your bf do when his son hits you and speaks to you like that?
If he does act out, it's
If he does act out, it's normally when my boyfriend isn't in the room. The rare times that he is in the room, he does tell his son off.