Anyone else find this weird?

Every time we pock up skids ss15 is driving not in itself weird but when we drop them off bm is already there and in the passenger seat waiting for ss15 to drive. She is sitting there like a little girl waiting for her mom or dad to take her some where.

Now ss15 has his license but since he is still 15 he can not drive by himself yet as his DL is treated like a permit.

I find this more like she is giving ss15 WAY more power then he should have. This is just one thing on a long list of things she does to put ss15 in adult status.

am I wrong to think this is kinda over the top? And this has been going in for almost 2 years since he got his permit at 14 as he is about to be 16. I guess I am confused as to why you would get a permit at 14 if you can't drive til you are 16 and that permit expires with in a year of getting it?

purpledaisies's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

If they allow them to get a

If they allow them to get a permit at 14 & there is always an adult riding with them, I think it's a good idea to let them get it & have 2 years of experience driving with someone licensed rather than just the 1 year.

Anywhere I've ever lived kids can't get their permit until 15. Here, in VA, they can't get a permit until 15 & 8 months (I believe) & then they get a license at 16. 4 months isn't long enough (in my opinion) to practice & then be left on their own.

So, if they get it at 14, it expires at 15. Do they just go renew it for another year?

With the number of young kids involved in accidents, I don't think there is such a thing as too much practice. I think it's to the benefit of your SS & the people he crosses paths with that she let him have as much practice as he can get.

What about it makes you feel like she's giving him adult status?

My daughter has her permit

My daughter has her permit and will be getting her license soon, and I can tell you, I want her to have as much experience as she can possibly get behind the wheel while I am able to help her. IMHO you are making to much of it. Does your SS get drive time while with you guys? I know that when my daughter visits her father, there is no practice driving, it kinda sucks, because I am the only one concerned with her getting enough practice and real experience on the road.

I don’t think it is weird.

I don’t think it is weird. My kids drove me all over when there were 15 and had permits. (It was scary as heck!! Lol). But it was mandatory and great for them to get the experience. Here, if they get the permit at 15, they actually have to have so many hours driving before they get their license at 16.

Even if they did not have to have those hours driving, I would still have let him drive a lot just for the experience. So, no, I don’t think it is weird.

I did the same thing with my

I did the same thing with my son. Best advice I got was to make sure he drove everytime I was in the car. It has made him a really good driver...Let this one go. This is actually a good thing she is doing...

I would say the more

I would say the more experience he has the better. I got my license after simply taking an easy semester long drivers ed class in high school and didn't even have to take a road test at the DMV, it was waived because I had taken the class. I would be scared to let my child do the same knowing how little I actually learned about being on the road MYSELF when I got my license!!

I'm not saying him driving is

I'm not saying him driving is weird. I'm saying the way she is doing is weird. When she is already in the passenger seat. I understand getting as much driving tine as you can. But to already be in the passenger seat before we even get there and sitting there like a little girl waiting for mom or dad to take her some where. I am not describing this right. If you would jsut see her doing this you would think she is weird.

I let my kids drive and yes we have let ss15 drive while here. But I wait til the kids ask to make sure they are serious and interested in driving instead of pushing them. Dh has already said something to bm about pushing b/c ss14 has told us that bm is pushing him and he is not ready.
Plus ss15 told dh that bm said that it is NOT the womans job to drive ever. That one came up when I wanted to drive one day. So maybe that is why I am finding it weird since I was already told that.

I agree. DH & I share a

I agree. DH & I share a vehicle & if I'm going to pick him up from work & he's still working, I go ahead & get in the passenger seat. That way it's done. When he's done working he can just get in the car & we can go. I've never noticed any funny looks from anyone around me when I do it, as though I'm a little girl waiting for my mom or dad to drive me somewhere.

I also agree that some kids need a push for motivation.

Otherwise they end up like my DH's son...18 years old with no license, no permit & ZERO motivation to get one. At 18 he needs a job, & he needs to be able to get himself there.

If the end result will be the

If the end result will be the same (the kid driving), then it doesn't matter WHEN mom gets into the passenger seat.
Changing seats ahead of time just speeds things up a bit.

In this case,what BM is doing is a good thing.

first echo I parent the way I

first echo I parent the way I see fit and I will not he harassed about that! Second I am not looking to be unhappy I am concerned that my ss is being put in a spousal position at her house! This like this have been going on for a loong time and I can see them. You are not seeing it I am! It is not about the driving per se but about the WAY she is doing it. to me yes there is something wrong when I see a GROWN ASS WOMAN say it is NOT the womans job to drive ever and make their 15 yr son do all driving! That is first teaching that son that womans a place is at home and to never leave it plus she refuses to get a job saying that her place is at home. Just more teaching her BOYS that woman are to be at home.

Those boys already seem to think that woman are less then men anyway curtasy of their mom. So YES I find this weird and not cool to teach boys this stuff.

And Echo if you want to push your kids into driving or doing anything dangerous before they are ready tat is your choice but I will not put my kids in danger if they are not ready. this is my right as it is yours for your kids.

My ss14 is saying he is being

My ss14 is saying he is being pushed not ss15. @ way different kids. AGAIN THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE DRIVING! Get off that it is about the way she is doing it. And yes this is not my kid I haven't said anything and I won't but I do find it weird that bm makes her 15 yr old drive her around b/c she believes it is not the womans job to drive. THAT IS THE ISSUE.

Goodness you would think that with teh way you 2 are talking about me is taht I'm an evil step mom and don;t want my ss's to drive. Rolling my eyes it is about bm and her issues that she is pushing on the boys.

2rhf

Purple, WHY does this bother

Purple, WHY does this bother you?
It's her kid; it's her choice.
When my kids had their permits, they drove everywhere if I was the only other adult in the car. (If DH and I were both in the car, we got the front seats.)
They got tons of practice (each had the permit for a year), drove through all seasons, and were comfortable behind the wheel by the time they were licensed.
If I got in the car first, it was on the passenger side.

I have to agree with Echo here: you appear to be totally looking for something to be upset about.

Why not just focus on YOUR kids and let BM parent hers the way she sees fit?

It's moments like these that make me glad my ex hasn't remarried. What unneccessary drama.