9 year old doesn’t really have a bedtime thx to dad!
Since I’ve known SD9 I’ve noticed that she really doesn’t have a bedtime no thanks to DF. They both always sleep with the damn Television on. I for one hate it! I like to sleep quietly in the dark but not these two. Well when SD9 was younger I didn’t make a big deal about it since she didn’t have to worry about waking up early to go to school, just like we didn’t have to worry about getting her ready. Well now that she is older and actually going to school It’s a whole different story.
DF disagrees however saying that "she indeed does have a bed time, at 8PM to be precise". Well I disagree. I don’t think going up to bed and having the TV on till 10-11pm at night is a freaking bed time! I think what he considers bedtime is not appropriate for SD9. Just because she goes up to her room to bed doesn’t mean is a damn bedtime!
Good example: Last night around 10:30pm I went to check up on SD9 to make sure she was asleep since DF was already out cold. (Note: her TV was still on.) Well turns out she was still WADE AWAKE! This got me pretty upset. I then go to turn off the TV and she starts whining and crying saying “it already has a timer on it and that she can’t sleep without it on”. So I think to myself, "It has a timer? its freaking 10.30pm!!! what kind of a damn timer is this! what the hell was DF thinking? fuck it, It’s too damn late to deal with this shit. Not my problem. I turned it back on, Left her room, Went to sleep and didn’t bother to check on her again.
Well this crap bothers me because 3 to 4 days out of the week I take SD9 to school in the mornings which means I get to be the lucky one to deal with her getting ready at a very slow pace and an a very cranky matter because she’s too damn tired. Or my favorite when I wake her up tell her to get ready, time for school to then go back to check on her and come to find out she is STILL in bed under the covers sleeping!! And then we end up running late! Where as we all could avoid this if she just actually went to bed at 8PM! With NO TV ON!
I approach DF about this but every time I do he seems to brush it off and not care that his daughter is lacking a well rested sleep. So I’m done with it! If DF wants me to take SD9 to school in the mornings then She WILL go to bed at 8pm, 8:30pm the latest and WILL turn OFF the Television because I refuse to deal with her in the mornings and if DF doesn’t like it then HE can deal with her. HE can take her to school. After all it’s HIS Kid! I refuse to be a taken advantage of. You would think he would try to make it easy on me since I am doing him a favor after all. But no, Why should he, he’s the one that doesn’t have to deal with the wrath of cranky SD9 in the mornings. ..hah
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Just copied and pasted this
Just copied and pasted this from an article:
"7-12 Years Old: 10 - 11 hours per day
At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 to 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 to 12 hours, although the average is only about 9 hours."
Around here bedtime is 9. Skids are 10 and 12. TV timer is set for 30 minutes - that's it PERIOD.
THANK YOU this helps a lot. I
THANK YOU this helps a lot. I don't mind SD9 going to bed at 9. I think that's fine for that age. I however mind the fact the she expects to have the television on in her room till late hours of the night. I walked in on her once on a Thursday at 11:00 still watching the Disney channel. That there is just pushing it. That there is what gets me livid.
I'm 25rs old and even I have a better bed time then a 9 yr old. I'll go to bed at 9pm and will be out in 15-20 mins. TV off and all. There are times where it will be 11pm and I would have to wake up in the middle of the night to lower down the vol from SD9's TV because it would be to loud. (when it should have been off in general!)
LMAO when I read your
LMAO when I read your Comment...
"My exH was like that he slept with the TV on and if I would turn it off at say 1am he would wake from the dead and try and tell me he was watching that!
It just made my day. Because that's the same shit my DF tells me and tries to pull! "I'm watching it" with your eyes closed really? then he'll say "I'm listening to it"...hahaha never ending!!
I have had an issue with
I have had an issue with this. DH claims that sleep is overrated and as long as we/ they get some catch up time every now and then, it' ok to go to bed really late. I think he resents his strict upbringing, having to go to bed while it was still light. We've had endless, unresolved arguments about no bedtime. Our kids were always tired at school. It still pisses me off. " Sleep is overrated" is bs!
Ok question me and dh have
Ok question me and dh have been here before....sk's dont live with us, they only visit EOW (fri-sun) and go home sunday at 3 or 5pm ... So dh would say "It's the weekend..let them stay up"
And I would say they are only 8 and 9 what the heck do they know about a weekend..... SO should I care if they stay up late, because I dont have to deal with getting them up for school?
The only reason I like them going to bed at a certain time is because of Dh and I work scheduale...my two (babies 18 months and 5 months) go to bed at 8pm (NO LIE) I trained them that way since birth by feeding and bathing them at certain times with instrumental classical musical...and they are out like a light! On a bad night if they are sick or something 9:30 or 10pm at the latest.
But bedtimes help dh and I spend time together in the evenings or just have time to ourselves after a long day.
So what do you think about my situation since they dont live with us ????
I don't see anything wrong
I don't see anything wrong with having the skids stay up late during the weekend since they don't have to worry about going to school the next morning.
However there should be some type of compromise. If the skids go to bed at 8pm or 9pm during the week then have them stay up till 10pm -10:30pm the latest. I don't think any child under the age 13 should stay pass 10:30pm, have them do what is called "quite fun time" They can color, play a board game, watch a movie, etc. You have babies asleep they have to understand if they want to have the privilege of staying up late they have to be quit about it. no horse play. If they cant understand that then straight to bed they go. You can join in the fun (BOARD GAMES, WATCHING MOVIES ETC...) if you would like to have "family time" or snuggle with your man as you watch them do their thing. In the end if you make it work you all can win.
I feel your pain! GG was
I feel your pain! GG was like this as well. His kids who had ZERO bedtime at the Behemoth's came to my house with uber dark circles under their eyes and falling asleep in broad daylight!!
GG said that his children were "different" and they "didn't need all that extra sleep"
That they could fall asleep in front of the TV (while he conked out on the easy chair between 8 and 9 p.m) and then have them spring out of bed at 4 or 5 am on a Saturday morn.
No matter how I begged and pleaded and showed him that children do in fact need that much sleep, I'd be "shown the hand" and "BAH!!" (TM)
When I *dared* to shut Anime off at 10:00 p.m. in Prince Hygiene's room (at the time stb7) he "tattled" on me to GG the next day b/c I "came into his room without knocking." The TV was BLARING and frankly, Anime is inappropriate for someone that age.
GG also had a bad habit of encouraging Prince Hygiene to web surf with him on the laptop around 4 a.m. every Saturday!!!! :jawdrop:
When I FINALLY convinced GG that he should be in bed with me and that Prince H should be sound asleep in bed at that hour, Prince H got so angry that daddykins wasn't web surfing with him early Saturday morn, that he SHIT all over the house on purpose!!!
You have a guilty daddy who is clueless about parenting traditionally on your hands. If he'll accept it, start showing him websites about recommended sleep time and bedtime rituals. Let me guess. . .does she often try to climb into your bed as well? Or does he have to be in her bedroom lying down next to her to get her to sleep? If not, this will surely be next once you institute a "no TV" policy.
P.S. I also don't like the idea of TV in a kids room or kids falling asleep on the sofa and daddykins moving child to his/her proper bed after the fact. But of course GG thought this was GREAT! :sick:
Structure and boundaries are what children need!
yes, I know for a fact if we
yes, I know for a fact if we turned off the TV or took it out of SD9's room. She would be all over her daddykins asking him if he can lay with her, read to her, keep her company etc...Girl is freaking needy and he just cant bring himself to say no to her. In fact THE WORSE part is that he himself said he "just doesn't want to deal with her coming into our bedroom in the middle of the night 5 or 6 times to bother him, crying to him that she cant sleep". (Its happened b4.) So that alone supposedly makes it a good enough reason for him to have her TV on till all hours of the night. Talk about lazy! Hello that's what being a parent is! don't like it then don't have any kids!!!
And yes there are times where SD9 will full asleep on our living room couch and DF would pick all 94lbs of her and carry her up the stairs to her room and tuck her in. RIDICULOUS!
If she won't get up without
If she won't get up without being crabby refuse to get her ready for school until she gets a proper bed time, I don't think your dh is able to get her ready he's probably already gone. That'll change his tune.