Sick to death of DH and his attention to BM.
I am so sick and tired of DH spending every waking moment trying to dig up stuff on BM. They are in a custody battle and child support dispute and he googles BM and her new husband, asks everyone he comes in contact with for any dirt on BM and her husband, etc. I know he wants to be as prepared as possible for court but it's really already a slam dunk. BM is a loser and is married to a recovering drug addict, no job and no intention of finding a job, no stability, etc. If he spent HALF the energy on our marriage that he spends trying to dig up shit on her, we would have a fabulous marriage. I feel like I'm married to DH AND BM!!!
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Lo: All of your questions
Lo: All of your questions about BM's new husband are questions that DH is trying to find answers to. I can completely rationalize why he needs/wants this information. His son is subjected to this man (and BM) and it's not a good environment. We need proof that it's not a good environment...not just hearsay.
I also know that he is not obsessed because he wants to know every little thing about BM. He just wants to have a winning case in court. And, BM's stories are so ridiculous that it truly is entertainment sometimes.
I'm just frustrated because it seems now that all of our conversations are about BM or her husband or what DH uncovered today that will help his case, etc. Where is the "us" that we used to have? I don't want our lives to be focused on her.
I've been saying the mantra
I've been saying the mantra "this too shall pass"
But I think you guys need to reevaluate how much energy you give to "the case." It seems he's obsessing a bit and might needs some boundaries.
Is is possible to limit your conversations? You can talk about BM for 10min a day, get it out all at once. Or go on a date and BM is OFF LIMITS.
I can obsess and tactics like this helps me to regain balance and perspective in my life.